


Lena's Declassified Sexual Surrogacy Survival Guide (Working Title)

by dub_metric



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brief Kara Danvers/Mon-El, Brief Non Descriptive Het Sex, Comedy, F/F, First timer over here, Fluff and Angst, Gay Awakening, Happy Ending, I have no idea how sex therapy works in reality so this is all from the steel trap I call my brain., I promise, Identity Reveal, Kara is desperate to get her puthie acting right, Kid Fic, Kind of a mess? Bare with me as I get my footing, Kink, Lex is still a psycho, Lillian isn't bad, Original Character(s), POV Kara Danvers, POV Lena Luthor, Pining, Polyamory, Pseudonyms, Psychological Trauma, Self-Harm, Sex Toys, Slow Burn, Smut, The supergirl aspects really take a backseat in this fic, also im serious any tips are welcome, and also give me tips I've never written fiction or anything really, be nice pls, eventual sam POV, general fuckery, i have no clue what i am doing, if you look hard enough - Freeform, implied soulmate au, pop culture references, sex therapist au, sexual surrogacy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-24 04:00:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 61,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30066327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dub_metric/pseuds/dub_metric
Summary: The one where Kara goes to a sex therapist/psycologist in an effort to save her dwindling relationship with Mon-el only to realize that she is gay. Lena helps Kara overcome her psychological trauma and the struggles she has with power and control through sexual surrogacy and therapy. Mon-El is out the door relatively quick. Lena struggles with her attraction to Kara and vice versa, neither woman wanting to cross any lines. Eventual Kara/Sam/Lena poly plot but it will take a while to get there. Lena has a 6 year old. I am new to writing so please let me know what I can do to make this more enjoyable. Inner monologue is italicized. All mistakes are my own.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Samantha "Sam" Arias/Kara Danvers, Samantha "Sam" Arias/Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Samantha "Sam" Arias/Lena Luthor
Comments: 97
Kudos: 241





	1. Chapter 1

KARA POV

 _It just had to be me huh? Only I would live out this fucking nightmare after all I’ve gone through.  
_Honestly Kara wasn’t sure how she has wound up here. Here, being a quiet, secluded corner of a cafe in an upscale part of downtown National City. _Physically_ she knows exactly how she got here, she flew herself over in her suit and after changing back into her civilians in a damp alley-way, she then walked around the nearby park, hoping to muster at least some sort of pseudo-confidence to get her through this meeting, hoping to feel the sun on her face, hoping to breathe in some fresh air. She even had enough time to inhale a couple dozen donuts because _hey,_ as a Kryptonian, she burns a lot of calories during a single day and _no Alex_ she absolutely _does not_ have an issue with stress eating. Either way her physiology affords her to eat copious amounts and Kara thinks it would be an absolute shame if she didn’t take advantage of that. Plus NC really didn’t need her keeling over. A starved Supergirl is a friend to none and a foe to all.

In a surprising break of her never-ending, rambling, inner monologue, Kara finds herself more so in awe of the fact that she is _emotionally_ here. Not to say that she’s emotionally stunted or anything, Kara definitely has feelings. Big feelings. Feelings that feel heavy and feelings that take up space. But since coming out as Supergirl, it seems that people expect her to keep her emotions in check most of the time. Be the strong one, ya know? So yes, Kara is surprised she’s gotten herself here, surprised that she is allowing herself to admit that maybe there is a problem.

When he had initially suggested this, in typical Kara fashion, with anything in regards to her blunt but well meaning, dumb puppy of a boyfriend, Mon-el, she was shocked into silence. Stood there in her rent controlled, mid-rise apartment, with nothing but a sheet wrapped around her muscular body, looking like a gaping fish that had been unexpectedly thrust upon land. While Mon-el stood in her kitchen, buck ass naked, chugging milk-straight from the jug, not even realizing the bomb he had just dropped on Kara’s poor, unsuspecting, golden head. With every beat of silence that followed and every bead of milk the slid down his scruffy chin, Kara swiftly transitioned into being angry. She thought, _How dare he really? And hey that was the last of my milk! I mean, the last time I checked, this issue only affects me, and was it really necessary to bring up right now? Right after the mind numbing_ _metonymy that is sex with him? I mean Rao! I am already exhausted from trying to act enthused about the last 30 minutes of sex and now this bullshit?_

After the primary argument, the following nights, Kara drown her anger in alderbaranian rum at the local alien pub she frequents with the super friends. But after those first few nights, the smog of rage that plagued her mind lifted and she then realized, that maybe Mon-elhad a point and begrudgingly _,_ she would at least give it a shot. 

Eventually she finally worked up the courage to call the number her friend and coworker, Nia, gave her. Nia had said not to worry on how she came about such info but made sure to emphasize that her source was reputable.

“Just trust me Kara, I promise this will be worth it, this woman swears by Dr. Kieran, like it's her fucking religion!” partnered with the wiggle of her eyebrows, Kara felt compelled but altogether a little nauseated.

Nevertheless, Kara learned early on that Nia was destined to be an ace reporter, much like herself- so she took Nia’s word as good, then she took a deep steadying breath and dialed.

The receptionist was nice enough on the phone,

“Hello, Dr. Kieran’s office, this is Jess, how may I help you?” Her cheery voice greeted Kara on the second ring. _2 rings? Come on lady, at least give me some time to psych myself up!_

Kara took a breath and at the speed of light (or so it seemed) said “Hello my name is Kara Danvers and my boyfriend thinks I’m broken because I can’t really get off and I’m mainly like “hey maybe I could get off if you just get off of me and try something fucking new for once” and so I got this number referred to me by a friend who knows a someone who was treated by Dr. Kieran and she really- I mean _really_ enjoyed the results. Or at least that’s what I was told. SO I was hoping to get an appointment with him or something or if not I can hang up now and-“ 

A loud voice slices through her idle chatter, “MISS DANVERS, please, just breathe.”

Jess went on to explain to Kara that she has no reason to be nervous and even laughed at Kara’s poorly landed jokes, Alex honestly was right, she needed to give up her comedic pipe dreams and let sleeping dogs lie or whatever that human adage is. She honestly was never too keen on the use of figurative language, as Alex would say “Kara, that dog ain’t gon’ hunt”. But anyhow, her dry sense of humor surprisingly landed well with Jess and that put her at ease until the conversation had come to a lull and Jess informed Kara that she had some documents and NDAs she will be faxing over for her to sign followed by the location and time of the preliminary appointment.

With her super hearing Kara then picked up the faint sound of heels clicking and with a rushed “good luck Ms. Danvers, I am positive you’ll love Dr. Kieran, have a nice day!” The a dial tone followed.

Kara immediately found her body filling with dread, resulting in the metaphorical weight of what she had just done, bogging her body down literally. As her body slid down to the floor of her living space, Kara’s subconscious voice lifted and filled her mind, already looking for ways to get out of this. But alas, Kara fancied herself a rational woman as well as a halfway decent adult. So this morning when the day of her impending doom arrived, Kara brushed her teeth, combed her hair into a sleek high pony, dressed in an olive pair of fitted slacks and her favorite short sleeve black button up with oxfords to match and set out the door. Only to immediately come back in and call her older sister for some words of encouragement, because while she may be rational and a halfway decent adult she sure needed the extra kick in the ass for what she is about to put herself through.

“Kar, honey, just fucking relax. Think of it as a meet and greet like you do with the kids as Supergirl. Its not like the Doc is gonna pop the hood and check your engine ya know? Hes not gonna kick the tires and see how you ride, he’s just going to ask you some questions.”

Kara, in fact, did not know. Coupled with a groan and her face scrunched up Kara lets her head fall back against the door with a loud _thump_ , “Alex come on what the fuck does that even mean? I don’t even own a car.”

Alex sighs and Kara can almost see her rolling her eyes, “Hey its gonna be okay, just head over a little early like you were planning to and get your head on straight. I promise it will be okay, and if it turns out to be really all that painful I can come over later and we can watch whatever you want. I’ll even let you pick where we get take out.”

For a moment Kara was silent but ultimately Alex won her over, because if anything is true it’s that Kara is food motivated. _I made a commitment dammit and I will see it through if only for the first meeting, and then- AND ONLY THEN I’m gonna get ALL the potstickers_.

Hence why she is now sitting here, palms sweaty, fingers nervously wringing, staring down at her shoes, and her signed documents neatly lain over her worn brown leather satchel on the table next to her.

Once again lost in her own inner ramblings, Kara is plunged back into the present when a pair of the nicest heels she has ever seen comes into her view.

Scrunching her brow to form her patented Kara Danvers crinkle, she lets out a low “wow those are nice” and in her head, _I mean they probably cost more than my entire life’s savings_.

A throat clears and Kara whips her head up to level her eyes with one of the most beautiful women she has ever seen. Her breath leaves her in a rush and her cheeks warm probably so much that they match the surely red soles of the fuck me pumps standing opposite her.

Quietly cursing herself with a “fuck shit god damn” she stands abruptly, stumbling over her words “oh um hil- hello, am I in your spot? I can move just-”

“Miss Danvers?” A single eyebrow raises, and Kara once again flushes and forgets her words- some journalist she is. Her pulse rises rapidly and her body is humming, she finds herself hypnotized by the kryptonite eyes she now faces, she doesn’t even realize she’s been cut off or more aptly she just really can’t find a single fuck to give that she has been cut off. With the woman’s words in one ear and out the other, rather than answering, Kara lets her eyes slide from this stunning woman’s incredible arched eyebrow across her face, past her ruby lips, to the defined line of a chiseled jaw which in turn leads her eyes to more land marks across vast creamy pale skin. She follows these freckles that sporadically dot this marble statue of a woman’s neck down to her generous cleavage, where her jaw unhinges the slightest and she lets another breathy _“fuck”_ go.

Her own explicative seemingly snaps her out of her inappropriate staring as she slaps a hand over her mouth and her wide, unblinking blue eyes pan back up to green eyes dancing with amusement, that rival the Rao damned forrest.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry, holy fu- Alex will never let me live this down- I am just gonna skedaddle, if you could- excuse me” Kara moves to leave when this _ethereal goddess’s_ hand springs forward to grab her bicep to block Kara’s exit strategy. As their skin connects they both gasp and their eyes connect once more. Gone is the raised eye brow and smug smirk on this woman’s face, her jaw drops slightly and the amusement in her eyes is replaced with what Kara assumes is astonishment. Kara can hear the woman’s heart beat stutter then briskly pick up. Her confidence slowly creeping back in, kara rights herself and flexes slightly under the woman’s hand. The woman’s cheeks color slightly and a thought fires off in the back of kara’s head- _I bet her ass would look just as pretty in that shade of pink- wait what? I mean_ _what the fuck- where did that come from?_ Kara thinks to herself. She has never been effected like this by anyone. _Oh golly._

“I am s-“

“Miss Danv-“

They both chuckle as the woman’s hand retracts. Kara then has a moment of clarity.

_Oh no this can’t be. Oh fuck me._

_I thought Dr. Kieran was a man, not a beautiful sexy- wait stop Kara, knock it off._

“Wait, you know my name” She slowly drawls as her face fills with embarrassment. “Please tell me you are not Dr. Kieran?” Her eyebrows draw together in pleading.

The woman’s face lifts and she smiles widely causing two dimples to appear but she quickly recovers, her features smoothing over, she says, “Sorry to disappoint Miss Danvers, but that is exactly who I am” A corner of her lips lift into a barely-there smirk, clueing kara in of the fact that she is being teased in a friendly way.

_Oh my fuck her voice, what is that accent??_

Kara laughs and covers her face with her hands to hide her blushing. If she had been looking she would have noticed the fine doctor’s eyes take a moment to appreciate and drag down kara’s body. She would have noticed Dr. Kieran’s teeth sinking into her bottom lip. She would have noticed how her eyes stuttered over her big hands and rippling forearms.

Unsure where to go from here or how to recover, her face still half covered, Kara haphazardly offers a hand with a quiet “Hello Dr. Kieran, its nice to see- I mean meet you. Oh boy. Any chance we can forget everything that just occurred and start fresh?”

Lena lets her lip go and chuckles again and the melodic sound entrances Kara who finally looks back into green eyes with a beaming smile. _Maybe I haven’t totally fucked this up._

The Doctor takes her offered hand in a firm shake and speaks dryly “Under one condition: Please tell me you’re not into feet, I know I am meant to be Dr. Lena Kieran, Orgasm Extraordinare, no kink too big- none too small, but I really really am not a fan of feet stuff.” Her impeccable eye brow raises once again.

A loud cackle leaves kara’s mouth as she throws her head back, once recovered enough to speak, she says through laughter “fortunate for you Doc, I was admiring your killers heels not your feet, so no worries there.” Lena smiles looking on at kara’s joy stricken face.

With the ice somewhat broken Lena gestures for them to sit and a comfortable silence blankets their secluded table.

After a beat, “Well Miss Danv-“

“Oh please call me kara” she breaks out, almost if she couldn’t hold it in any longer if she tried. Dr. Kieran smiles warmly. Kara notices that the woman’s long- _wow so long-_ fingers clasp together impossibly tighter atop of the table while she softly replies “Well if I am calling you Kara-“

“Lena it is” Kara responds with gusto.

“So tell me Kara, why exactly are we meeting today?” Lena’s face is kind and welcoming, Kara finds herself feeling at ease around this woman, essentially a stranger.

She releases a breath as her eyebrows almost reach her hairline as if to say _oof where to begin._ Kara decides on a question of her own, “Well I spoke with Jess on the phone, she's lovely by the way, um and well I guess I am just wondering if she filled you on anything or should I just start from the beginning?”

Lena grins and nods her head encouragingly, “Jess is great, I am very lucky to have her. She hasn’t told me anything other than your name, I like to meet with prospect clientele and hear what’s going on straight from them. So please feel free to start at the beginning.”

Kara’s stomach begins to turn and her nerves resurface, she shakily begins, “Well I guess why we are here is because my boyfriend” _Oh man I forgot about that guy, I mean Mon-el, fuck, Kara focus!_

Kara’s pulse skyrockets and she's sure if she could sweat, she would be drenched. _“_ Uh yes so my boyfriend has taken notice that I can never seem to- um- reach completion? An-and honestly I was just okay sticking it out because we've been together for a while. But he has been insisting that something could be wrong with me and that I need to get it checked out and-“

Lena intervenes, “Let’s just scale back a bit okay?”Surely she does this in hopes of stopping the metaphorical run away train that is Kara’s stream of consciousness from its impending collision with what seems to be an on coming panic attack. Her soothing voice and low timbre crashes over Kara like waves onto the shore, and calms her instantaneously. Kara looks up from underneath her eyelashes with wonder and quietly thanks her.

Lena just smiles and nods once more.

_gosh her face is infuriatingly pretty_

Lena’s face becomes somewhat serious- “Kara, do _you_ want to be here? Or has your boyfriend shamed you into being here?”

Kara stares for a moment, open mouth ready to answer but words escape her once again. She looks around in deep thought and wonders out loud, “I mean do I want to be here?” She brings her eyes back forwards and leans towards the table and stares just a little longer into Lena’s understanding eyes, just long enough to make an impulsive decision.

“I- yes” Kara stutters “I would like to fix whatever is wrong with me, I really don’t think I could take another night of faking an orgasm,I think I just am not used to admitting that I’m not okay with how things are- or acting like this doesn’t effect me the way it does.” Kara looks down in embarrassment, tears brimming her eyes. Her hands are clenched so tight around the strap of her messenger bag that she can’t mistake the sound of slight tearing. She’s fighting to swallow the knot she feels in her throat without bursting into tears.

Lena, noticing her hands twisting and mangling the fine leather, reaches out gently laying her hands over Kara’s. Kara looks up as a single tear flows from her sapphire eyes to see Lena not just looking at her, but actually seeing her.

“Kara that’s the first step, I am happy to help you, okay? But first things first: I never want to hear you imply that you are broken or that there is something to fix. These issues are normal and many people deal with them everyday. Nothing is wrong with you, okay?” Lena stares deeply into Kara’s eyes as she says it.

“O-okay, um thank you Lena, I’m sorry” Kara stammers.

_Golly she’s beautiful. Ah fuck, I have to stop thinking about her like this._

Kara’s eyes shift down and follow the curves of Lena’s body. _Look away- NO not there!_ She quickly averts her eyes up to a point reference just past Lenas head as to not come off as some creep who ogles their doctor.

“And no more apologies please, okay?” Lena tilts her head endearingly.

“Yes, Im S- I mean okay, yes.” They both chuckle and Kara sniffles and retracts her hands to wipe away the defiant stray tears that escaped against her will.

“Okay then, Let’s start again. How about I ask some questions to guide us?”

Kara nods and straightens in her seat. Lena takes out a leather bound journal and a manilla folder that has a couple documents. She clicks her pen and takes out the first sheet. Lena bites her lips and her eyes skim down the sheet, Kara guesses she is looking for an adequate starter.

 _That’s cute,_ Kara thinks as she watches the cap end of the pen slowly ascend to meet Lena’s lip in concentration, but then the cap makes it past her lips and meets lena’s pearly white, perfect teeth. 

_Ah fuck more like distractingly sex-_

Kara is broken out of her daydreaming.

 _“_ So why don’t we start here first” Lena looks up and smiles. “How about you give me those documents before we get too ahead of ourselves.” As she gestures to the stack on Kara’s bag.

Kara nods, “of course” and hands them over with a smile to match Lena’s. “Um I also have some for you.”

Lena’s eyebrows draw together, “Oh?”

Kara unbuckles her bags and grabs the unfortunate Macy’s holiday catalogue that is the DEO NDA and slides it towards Lena. Nervously biting her lip, she leans back in her chair. She has never done this before. Told a complete stranger about who she really is. But it is necessary, and she did get permission from Alex and J’onn. Albeit they expected her to give these to Dr. Kieran much later, when she was absolutely sure about the discreteness of the Dr. _What they don’t know won’t hurt them._ Kara finds herself throwing caution to the wind. Something about Lena just feels right to Kara.

_Safe. Also Nia did say that Lena handles high end clientele and there is a reason that her office can’t be found in the yellow pages._

As Lena pulls them towards herself and begins to read, Kara can hear her breath catch and her heart begin to stammer.

Immediately Kara begins to worry, “I-I-I um we can end this right now if this makes you uncomfortable, I really hope it doesn’t but I-“

Lena waves her hand to stop Kara, “No this doesn’t change anything, well it changes things but not for the worse, um I-“ She looks up with wide eyes and beams at Kara. Gone is the professional woman that made Kara squirm and in her place- unmistakably- is a fan girl. Kara can see the moment it clicks, and she can see Lena discretely pinch her own forearm to ensure that- yes this is real.

Lena leans back and whistles low “holy fuck, this is so fucking cool.”

Kara giggles, “Um thank you, I am glad you feel that way I was really nervous about this”

Lena looks back at her, shock and wonder color her face, “Kara, why would you trust me with this, we just met?”

Kara looks at her, heat crawling up her neck and reaching her cheeks and warmth spreading in her chest, “I’m not sure really, I just know you are so good-“ Lena’s cheeks flush and Kara hears a whimper that Lena tries to play off as her clearing her throat, “I mean a good person.” They both smile.

_Holy fuck I think shes into me- wait you’re here for mon-el, get it together Zor-el, Fuck you’re here for yourself even!_

Lena immediately flips to the last page of the NDA and signs. “Lena, shouldn’t you read that I mean-“

“No, I know you are good too- I mean a good person” Lena smiles so hard her dimples re-appear. _Wow I am in trouble._

“Okay okay, um enough with the excitement, back to these very hard hitting questions you have here” Kara giggles.

_Stop fucking giggling you giant golden retriever._

Lena clears her throat, “Alright, now let's gets basics out of the way. How old are you? When is your birthday?” She asks as she is poised once again with her pen to her lips.

“Um that’s a tough one I guess, I am technically um 49?”

Lena’s eyebrows shoot up and she squeaks quietly, if Kara didn’t know any better it sounded like Lena said daddy? But like _no come on doofus, you are hearing things on that one pal._

Kara quickly adds “Um but that’s only because I um I was- when I left” Kara looks around to make sure they are still have privacy and starts quieter, “when I left krypton I was just 13 years old and I was sent here to protect Kal-El who was only an infant at the time” the pain in her voice is clear to Lena as well as the anguish that flashes across her ocean eyes, “Um but I- I got stuck in something we called the phantom zone, alone for 24 years. Um, time didn’t pass, and I was in a stasis where I didn’t age and all I could do was sleep, so when I arrived I was older but stuck in my 13 year old body, now the little cousin to my once little cousin. I guess for paperworks sake maybe just put down 26 please” Kara ends her spiel a little out of breath and decidedly less sunny as before this question. But then adds slowly, “I- I don’t really remember my actual birthday, but what my documents say is September 22nd, 1995”

Lena goes to write in her journal with a breathy “wow okay” she looks back up at kara pensively and says, “you’re incredibly strong, I can already tell.”

Kara laughs, “well I hope so, they don’t call me the girl of steel for nothing.”

Lena purses her lips, “that’s not what I meant, and you know it Kara. I may be a sex therapist, but I am also a scientist, a psychologist and a damn good businesswoman. I know how to read folks, it’s my entire job. So please no deflecting, okay?” She smiles lightly.

Kara breathes out a small “okay Doc.” And smiles sadly.

Lena continues on asking similar starter questions, “who is your support system? what line of work are you in, if you work, do you work?”

“I have my adoptive mother, Eliza, my adoptive sister, Alex, and my cousin, Kal, as well as a small group of friends. Honestly they all mean the world to me, I wouldn’t be who I am without them.” Kara beams while looking out the window over the bustling streets. “And yes I do work, I am actually a journalist. I started out as Cat Grants assistant and worked my way up to where I am now, I am really proud.”

_I should call Cat I miss her. She should be back from her trip abroad soon. At least I hope, as much as I love James- that dude needs to be behind a camera, not Cat Grant’s desk._

Lena smiles and nods, her eyes tracking the muscles of kara’s neck as it stretches so she can watch the world outside, _“_ That sounds like a lovely support system I am glad you have them, Kara.”

With a raised eyebrow she adds, "Wow Cat Grant? She is an amazing business woman, a little intimidating, no? Surviving her is very impressive, you ought to be proud!”

Kara giggles and shakes her head, “ya know people always think Cat is so cutthroat but she is honestly a big teddy bear, I worked for her for 3 years and I consider her a really close confidant.”

Lena’s eyes widen at that info, so Kara quickly amends “please don’t let that get out, she would kill me if I let it slip that she has a heart, oh gosh”

Lena chuckles and swears “my lips are sealed”

 _I wish I could seal my lips with yours damn_.

Kara’s cheeks heat up and she smiles looking away.

“Okay, I’ve noticed that you didn’t list your boyfriend,” Lena pauses searching for his name among her scribbles.

Kara offers up “Mike” with a face devoid of any emotion, Lena notes, unlike the face she had when speaking on everyone else.

“Right, mike. Do you not consider him a part of your support system?” Lena inquires.

“Uh yeah I guess, I mean I support him mostly. In every aspect really” Lena looks up from her writing and narrows her eyes in thought.

“I do love him though.” Kara adds unconvincingly. _I mean damn at least try to sound in love, you oaf._

“Hmm okay, that is interesting but we can touch base on that in a bit, let's move to our next few questions. How many sexual partners have you had?” _Oh fuck._

 _“_ Oh fuck” Kara stammers.

“That many huh?” Lena smirks and raises a brow.

“Uh no I-“ Kara clears her throat, “I, um, have only had sex with Mike. I mean I have fooled around with other people but I had issues regulating my strength growing up and didn’t want to hurt anyone, so I um, I just kept to myself mostly”

Lena frowns, “Do you think maybe that is why you have a hard time enjoying sex?”

Kara thinks for a moment, “not entirely, Mike is um, an alien like me, and well he can handle most of my strength so that isn’t and issue there. And even if he wasn’t, I am very in control of my strength now.” Lena tracks Karas hands as they subconsciously run over her muscular thighs. Kara continues, “even the other times I’ve mildly hooked up with men, I have felt really disinterested, unamused really.”

Lena laughs, “same”

Kara coughs and Lena stammers “S-sorry that was an ill timed joke, I just meant that as a gay woman I felt that way a lot growing up.”

Kara’s eyes widen.

Lena’s face falls, “Is that an issue, my sexuality? I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, I promise I am very professional.”

_Oh no she thinks you are homophobic you big twat, look at her frown. FIX IT._

_“_ NO n- um no that doesn’t make me uncomfortable. My sister is gay, so I’m totally down with the lesbians. I-i mean I am an ally for sure” Kara rushes out without so much as a breath in between words.

Lena’s face brightens once again- _yes there’s that smile, good job danvers- “_ Okay wonderful, so I guess that answers my next question, you identify as straight?”

“Oh ye- I mean yeah, well I’ve never actually thought about it.” Silence follows, Lena quirks an eyebrow as she writes in her journal.

 _Oh. Oh boy that is NOT the can of worms I meant to open right now._ “I just um there wasn’t such a thing on Krypton, sexuality was fluid for everyone and you were matched in the matrix with who was your most compatible counterpart, sex and gender had nothing to do with it. But once I landed on Earth I felt compelled to assimilate and was also encouraged to fit in. So I never really gave it any thought. Oh my god.” Kara looks up panicked, eyes trying to search for an open balcony door in case she decides to make a quick exit.

Sensing her alarm, Lena speaks with authority, “Breathe Kara. Just breathe. We can get into that in depth through out our time together, just don’t let it overwhelm you okay? Whatever you happen to turn out to be is quite alright and honestly, anyone who says differently needs a swift kick in the junk if you ask me” Lena laughs lightly to break the tension.

Kara, once again calmed by Lena’s voice and words and, well to be honest, her heartbeat. She nods and chuckles at herself and her own ability to work herself into a tailspin at the drop of a hat. _Leave it to me to have a gay panic at 930 in the fucking morning- Alex is gonna have so much material at the next Denvers Sisters Night. Who am I kidding, she will not be hearing about any of this._

As Lena opens her mouth to ask the next question Kara whips her head to look in the distance, she hears a siren speeding down the street about 7 blocks over if she had to guess, she lowers her glasses slightly to see what is going on.

 _Shit a fire, fuck, really right now? Shit shit shit_. Her comms piece in her ear crackles to life and Alex’s voice comes through, “Supergirl, we have a fire at 57th and Wright st. there are people trapped, we need you there ASAP”

She looks at Lena, who is looking concerned, and then Kara murmurs to Alex, “Yes I’ll be right there.”

“I’m sorry to cut this short” She grabs the pen hanging from Lena’s lips and then her journal and scribbles down her contact info, “there’s a fire.”

Setting everything back in front of Lena she says, “do you mind holding onto my belongings and I can pick them up from your office tomorrow? I wasn’t anticipating this”

Lena lets out a shocked “yes of course” while Kara looks around. Spotting the partition wall heading to the restroom she walks fast behind the wall and uses her superspeed to change and quickly reappear in front of Lena who is now standing with a look Kara can’t quite decipher.

She struts past Lena winking with a final, “Up up and away, I guess” and then disappears right before Lena’s eyes.

Patrons flock to window as they see Supergirl fly by, headed towards a plume of smoke just breaking over the skyline.

Lena looks down at her notebook and sees 10 digits and small note in bubbly handwriting that reads “doc- text me whenever with your office’s address so I can pick up my bag and hopefully reschedule the rest of this appointment, I know you must be a very busy woman, have a good night ;)” Lena falls back into her chair with smile, pink donning her cheeks as she fans herself, “well fuck me.”

A couple blocks away, Kara smiles and narrowly misses a billboard of her own fucking face. _Of fucking course it had to be me._


	2. Chapter 2

LENA POV

The clock hits 4 o’clock and the the intercom on Lena’s desk beeps. Taking off her glasses she pinches the bridge of her nose and checks the time.

“Yes jess?” Lena sighs, the excitement of this morning long forgotten by now and the tiredness apparent in her voice. 

“Dr. Kieran you wanted me to remind you to head home early today so that had enough time to help Colin with his science fair project”

“Thanks Jess, go ahead and take your leave, I’ll head out in a couple minutes. See you tomorrow, 9am sharp”

When Lena finished her second doctorate, she started up her practice and sex toy line. Her adoptive parents, the Luthors, had wanted her to pursue just business but Lena knew what she wanted from the get go, and it was not a lone degree. Being a child prodigy and having a genius IQ sure didn’t hinder her vast quest for knowledge. She has three bachelors, all in business, psychology, and bio-engineering, earning masters in all three and doctorates in the latter two degrees. She kind of took it personally when she first heard that old proverb, a jack of all trades is a master of none. She decided rather early on that that was bullshit, and she was gonna do what she wanted anyway, and do it 10x better than anyone around her.

And so she did. She graduated high school early and fast tracked herself through multiple degrees. When she found herself on solid footing, Lena decided then was the time to have a baby, sans the whole marriage thing. She didn’t want to be one of the older moms that couldn’t chase her kid around the park, and to be honest she never thought she would be a wife to anyone so she saw no point in waiting. But she was damn sure going to be a mother, and a good one at that. So here she is, a 29 year-old, single mother, who is a wildly successful business woman and renowned sex therapist, with an incredible home and all the love she will ever need in her life in the form of a tiny, but incredibly too smart for his own good, 6 year old named Colin.

She kicks off her heels with a sigh,

_Kara was right, they are killer, but not in the way she meant._

Lena takes a deep breath as she digs her toes into the soft carpet beneath her feet, letting the stress of the day roll off her and sink through the floor, effectively grounding herself. She then gathers her belongings, slips out of her black pencil skirt and silk top, in exchange for her favorite blue jeans and a plain black t-shirt. To top it off she pulls on her worn white converse. She flips off the lights in her office, locks the door and calls her driver on the way to the elevator.

Striding into the elevator car she presses the ground floor and leans along the shiny mirrored wall, letting her head fall back. She stares into her reflection on the ceiling and lets a smile crawl up her lips as she takes stock of all the day’s excitements rather than dwell on the stack of stock market reports that she has yet to read through for her business venture.

_Its a fucking dildo company, there will always be a demand to supply, stop worrying._

Instead she thinks back to this morning, she knows realistically she has about 20 more seconds of reflection time before the doors open and she is out onto the busy NC street but that doesn’t stop her from letting her mind meander freely.

_God, the girl of steel. Holy fuck. She’s so fucking beautiful too, I don’t know if I have ever been this attracted to someone in my entire life. Maybe I should just shoot her a text. I mean she did say whenever. God those eyes- fuck those hands? Down girl, fucking act like a professional._

Lena shakes her head to clear the fogginess.

_I need to get laid._

With another steadying breath, she lets her hair down from the high pony tail and the doors chime open. She struts out the elevator, down the stairs, through the front door, and out onto the sidewalk. Jerome stands at her Rolls Royce, with a door already open, smiling from ear to ear.

“Good evening miss, hopefully you had a wonderful day”Lena smiles because at this point Jerome, much like Jess, is family.

“Hello Jerry, I had an exceptional day actually, so fantastic that I might even let you pick the radio station tonight”

As she slides into the back seat and sets her belongings down she looks up at a chuckling Jerry, giddy at the prospect,“I’m glad to hear it, Doc!”

Jerry shuts the car door heads around to the drivers seat to set off towards her home. Just as they pull away from the curb, the sound of jazz fills the air. Lena smiles at him in the rearview mirror.

Lena slides her phone out of her pocket and sets it on her thigh. She stares at it. If there wasn’t Ella Fitzgerald blaring in the background, Lena is sure the only sound that would be heard is the OK Corral western shoot out sound bite.

_Fuck it, no use waiting around for a fucking tumbleweed to show. Nut up or shut up Kieran._

She wipes her sweaty palms off on the seats beside her and grabs her notebook out of her bag to retrieve the number Kara left her. As she types the new contact in her phone, she ponders what to say.

She begins typing out the message.

**Hi Kara, this is Lena, ya know the one with the nice feet. I have your bag-**

_No what the fuck? way to casual, and also what if she doesn’t remember my joke at the beginning of her appointment. Get it together Kieran._ She deletes the message and tries again.

**Hey Kara, This is Dr. Kieran, just texting to let you know your bag is safe. If you want to stop by around noon tomorrow, I will be free. The address is 5068 34th Street. I’ll let the front desk know to escort you up if you can make it.**

_Okay send. sent. gone._

Lena switches her ringtone to silent and tosses her phone in her bag. With the it out of sight and out of mind, she looks out the window and begins to relax, while listening the Jerry softly sing along to the music.

It takes about 15 minutes but Jerry gets them out of the inner city and towards a quiet suburb on the outskirts on NC. The car finally rolls to a stop in front of her gated, modern, 2 story home. Lena takes a moment to thank Jerry before heading up and through her gate straight to the front door.

_I should drive tomorrow and give him the day off._

As she unlocks the front door with her keys she hears the echoing sound of little feet pattering towards her at a high velocity. Fortunately, she drops her bags just in time and catches her son who was flying through mid-air straight at her.

“Ah bug, I’ve missed you darling.” Lena says as she blows a raspberry on her son’s stomach, leaving him in stitches. “That’s my favorite sound, maybe mommy should start a new company where we just record and sell your laughs, huh? Surely everyone else will love it just as much as I do, yeah?”

“NOOOO mommy” Colin squeals and nuzzles is little nose further into his mothers neck. “I missed you tons, boss”

Lena tosses her head back and laughs, “you sir, have been spending to much time with auntie Sam.”

Colin shrugs his shoulders and begins recounting his day to Lena as she walks into her open concept home. They arrive at the couch and Lena sets him down as he is telling her about school. She continues listening, but as he prattles on, Lena begins to hear the telltale signs of a sneak attack behind her. Her eyes pan up and she notes the reflection in the landscape windows behind Colin’s raven head. Lena rolls her eyes and snickers. She looks down at Colin and holds her finger up to her lips. He giggles and does the same. At the very last second Lena dives left, brandishes a pillow from the couch and parries another poorly executed blow.

“Give it up Sam! You should know by know I’m too quick and too smart to be ambushed!”

With a decidedly rough smack to the head from Lena, Sam falls to the couch and lets out a harrumph, “maybe tomorrow bug, good job with you distraction though, we will work on the tactics later.” Colin giggles and climbs onto Sam while Lena gasps and looks affronted at the pair.

“Darling how could you, I expect this from auntie, but you? How could this be?” she collapses onto the fainting couch behind her with a hand over her eyes as if she was in great distress. Colin loses it once again and runs and jumps onto the couch with her.

“I’m sorry mommy, I promise to not help her again, but only if you promise to bring me home a treat tomorrow. AND to take me to the science museum soon.” Lena peaks out from under her hand with one eye and stares at her son who seems to be holding back his laughter.

“you drive a hard bargain sir, if it’s a trip and a treat you want, then it's a trip and a treat you shall get, but in exchange, I expect your full, unwavering loyalty.” At that she removes her hand to fully see her smug son, holding his hand out. Lena rolls her eyes as they shake on it. 

_I’ve been played. By my own blood no less. Hustled even._

“You guys are scary alike, stop that” Twin sets of emerald eyes shift to Sam who is watching them with amusement. Both mother and son deliver a chilling Kieran stare, that usually translates to “we don’t take shit, but we will take your name, and kick your ass too.” A beat of silence. And then all at once, they bust out in laughter.

“Colin, baby, why don’t you go set up your project materials on the table and mommy will be right with you” Lena smooches her son’s freckled forehead and pats his bottom as he scurries away.

She takes a breath and grins, turning her focus to her best friend, “Where’s Ruby?”

“She is over at a friends, I told her to be home by 7 for dinner, I’m ordering takeout.”

“Sounds good, I’m so happy you guys moved in with Me and Bug. The house feels more full now, ya know?” Lena’s eyebrows pull together.

_5 bedrooms was just too many for 1 and a half people._

Lena shakes her head at her younger self’s frivolous spending, though now she knows that those extra rooms came in handy.

“Me too babe, me too” Sam sighs contentedly. “So spill the beans. I know something good happened at work today, because there has been an absence of bitching since you’ve walked through the door”   
“HEY NOW, I don’t bitch, and also you would to if you had a day full of watching mostly middle aged men masturbate whilst you unpack their emotional trauma! You’re just lucky I’ve made you CFO of Good Vibrations rather than have you clean up the play rooms after each appointment.”

Sam shoots straight up and narrows her eyes, “you wouldn’t dare.”

Lena raises a brow, “Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t. Try me, Samantha.”

Her friend lays back down laughing and pushes on, “so, what happened today?”

In a rush, “You will not BELIEVE the fuckery I’ve gotten myself into.”

Same looks over, intrigued.

Lena sits up and crosses her legs, “So you know how most of my clients are male right, I mean I get the occasional lass, but mostly lads yeah?” Sam nods. “Well today, I have taken on a specimen of a woman that is so FINE. I mean goddamn, I am questioning whether I should even do this, because I am struggling being professional after only one prelim meeting!”

Sam drops her jaw, “Lena, babe, are you fucking kidding me, who is this woman? You haven’t shown interest in someone since before Colin’s birth. Well besides me, of course." Sam smirks, "And a client no less, naughty.” She spouts while leaning forward eagerly, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh relax, you know I cannot act on anything without risking my license or crossing a line. But I can for sure appreciate her.” Lena wags her eyebrows up and down and Sam scoffs and rolls her eyes.

_“_ You’re no fun. You are in serious need of a dick appointment, don’t let that incredible body go to waste, I beg of you” Lena scrunches her nose.

“You know I hate the phrase dick appointment”

“We get it Lena, you’re a useless lesbian. I can call it a clit consultation if you really prefer? Coochie conference? Snatch soiree? I could go on. I know how much you love alliterations”

She knows that she is objectively attractive and has a stellar sex appeal, she has made an entire career out of it. But the attention she attracts outside of work isn’t really what she’s looking for, or maybe her expectations are too high.

_Thats probably it, you snob._

And realistically her life trajectory, if anything, has plateau’d the last couple years, in the best way possible. She finally feels fully settled.

_Maybe Sam has a point then, I should be reaping the benefits of having this body._

“Snatch soiree sounds so elegant”

Sam cackles, “Different strokes for different folks, I guess”

A smirk appears instantly on Lena’s face, “I would know.”

Sam groans something unintelligible.

Before she can elaborate, Colin bursts back into the living room and grabs Lena’s hand to drag her towards the dining table. Lena looks over her shoulder with a smile and mouths “Later”.

Later turns out to means almost never because after they’ve finished Colin’s solar system project and have eaten as a family, its bath time for her son which is promptly followed by bedtime. The mother and son duo head off to their wing of the home. Lena fills the bath and adds some bubbles that Colin adores. Once he’s all clean and dressed in his pajamas he asks Lena to read to him from his favorite book.

She finishes tucking him in and nods, “Sure thing, darling.”

Lena starts reading where they’ve left of the night prior, she only manages to make it about 2 pages in before she hears a light snore from her right. She slowly closes the book and looks down at her son smiling.

_I am too lucky._

She lightly kisses his cheeks and whispers “Goodnight bug, I love you” then tip-toes out of the darkened room, making sure to pull the door shut behind her.

She makes her rounds, shutting off the lights in the house, checking the doors and the security locks, grabbing herself a water and her phone. As she enters her room she slows to a stop at the foot of her king size bed. It’s then that she remembers the text she had sent earlier. In an act of supreme self control lena plugs her phone in, and goes to shower without even so much as a glance at the growing notification wall.

While standing there, under the steady stream of scorching water, her mind runs back to her phone, and then consequently to the woman she hopes to hear from when she checks said phone. She thinks about Kara’s strong hands, how powerful her arms looked and how incredible it would feel to be held by her-

_or to be railed by her. Fuck she is so attractive._

As her mind wanders, so do her hands and she wonders if this is crossing any lines.

_Of course it is, dumb ass. I need to stop._

But she doesn’t heed her subconscious’ demands. Her fingers drag down her throat, where she stops to squeeze lightly, then they travel further down, over her pronounced clavicles dropping until they cup her full breasts. She kneads and pinches at her pierced, pink nipples until they harden under the attention. A whimper escapes from her lips. Arousal shoots down her spine and settles low in her belly. Her pussy twitches as she plays with her breasts, she stays wishing that her fingers were replaced by Kara’s perfect teeth.

_I need to stop this. This is so wrong on so many levels. But fuck._

Lena’s brows draw together as one hand traverses south across her toned stomach and follows the curvature of her hip to the junction between her upper thigh and waist line. There, her nails dig into her own soft skin.

“Fuck it.” She whispers “Nobody’s gonna know, How would they know” Lena giggles at her tiktok reference before she feels her fingers reach their final destination. A gasp rips from her throat as she cups herself and then begins to circle her swollen clit.

_God I haven’t been this wet in so long. And it’s all because of Kara? Kara and her sunny disposition and her perfect smile and stupid muscular neck that I want to lick and her pretty ey-_

_“_ fuck, oh my god” Lena’s breathing picks up and she stops teasing herself. She quickly and roughly enters herself with two fingers and cries out “YES”

_Im so fucking close already, this is pathetic, I just need something else, fuck fuck fuck!_

Lena shuts her eyes hard and scours her mind for something to push her over the edge when her breath catches and she remembers one significant moment during their conversation this morning.

“ _I just know you are so good”_

_I can’t fucking believe she unknowingly stumbled upon my praise kink on accident. God I hope she didn’t hear me whimper earlier. What I would give to hear her call me a good girl. Scratch that, HER good girl. Ff-fuck_

She allows the memory of Kara’s voice calling her good to echo in her mind on a loop. She pictures the way her lips wrap around the words. How she would look if she said them again but this time naked and thrusting hard into Lena.

_“_ Jesus Chri- fuck fuck fuck” Lena moans loudly before letting out a succinct gasp followed by a mewling of Kara’s name.

Lena face burns with embarrassment because all she can hear is how wet her pussy is, the squelching sounds of her fingers being pulled back into her tight insatiable heat, echoing off her shower walls. Her hips thrusting to meet the intrusion of her own long fingers. The pads of said fingers drag against the little spongy bit on her inner wall as she penetrates her self over and over, faster and faster.

_I am so close just a little more. I wish it was Kara’s fingers in my tight cunt, I would scream so loud for her. Be such a good girl for her._

She can feel her walls clench hard again at the thought of Kara fucking her.

F _uck daddy yes, please fuck me harder._

She needs release so badly, so she brings her free hand down from where it was abusing her now reddened nipple and has her middle and ring finger tightly circle her throbbing clit.

With a sob, white light bursts behind Lena’s eyes and warmth spreads across her extremities exploding from her core, outward. Her body is buzzing and her legs give out, she lands on the shower bench below her and smiles, looking satisfied, “Fuck yes.” And then she remembers what she’s done.

_Okay relax, deep breaths. Nobody need to know.. It was just once. I won’t ever do it again._

After toweling off and finishing her nightly routine, Lena changes into some silk sleep shorts and throws on an old college crewneck, ready to dive into the land of slumber, where everyone is dead to everyone, at least until the sun rises. As she shuts the lights off and crawls under the covers, finally settling down and closing her eyes, her phone vibrates indicating a call that she assumes is from Jack, he has a pension for calling as soon as her eyes shut.

She blinks at the clock that reads 10:05pm. Without thinking or looking at the screen Lena picks up her phone and answers,

“Jack I swear to all things godly, if you don’t have a good reason for calling so late, I promise you will regret it. I’ve just about fucked myself unconscious and here you are, interrupting my much deserved beauty rest.” Silence follows. “Come on, you old queen, what do you have to say for yourself?”

A throat clears, and instantly Lena knows her mistake. She sits up straight, so quickly she's sure she’s pulled a muscle. Rubbing at the new kink in her neck she mutters “Fuck.”

She checks her phone screen, although she knows already that it will say the one and only “Kara Danvers”

Lena facepalms and Kara squeaks out “I am so sorry Dr. Kieran, I didn’t meant to call so late I lost track of the time, I really apologize, shi-shoot. I also didn’t realize this was your personal number”

Lena blinks and then inhales and exhales once to settle her pulse.

_Fuck, she’s right. Why did I give her my personal number?? What is wrong with you today, Kieran?!_

“No its alright kara, um I thought you were one of my best friends, Jack. He often calls me at night trying to berate me into going out for a drink or something. Hence the premature name calling. I find that if I start off being mean he puts forth less effort, making it easier for me to say no.” Lena laughs nervously, _ah please please ignore the part where I said I fucked myself unconscious PLEASE._

Kara laughs and says, “I totally understand that, in fact I might have to use that tactic on Mike sometime.” Relief fills Lena’s body.

_Her laugh is so contagious, god._

Kara breathes out shakily and Lena can hear rustling on the other side of the phone call. Kara starts once again, “So um, I just I wanted to confirm that I will in fact be there tomorrow at noon. I would have texted but I don’t text and fly and my comms has this cool bluetooth feature that Alex just made for me.” Kara sounds like she’s going to continue rambling if Lena can base anything off the nerves she hears in her voice.

“That sounds wonderful Kara, I’m glad to hear it. I’ll see you tomorrow then” Lena hopes Kara can’t tell that her cheeks have gone completely red.

“Yes ma’am um, have a goodnight! Sweet dreams” Kara softly says.

_Fuck, I like her calling me ma’am._

_“_ Yes, goodnight Kara, Fly safe.” Lena presses end and immediately calls Sam to come to her room to fill her in.

KARA POV

Across town, Kara is just slipping through her fire escape window and out of her super suit. She breathes a sigh of relief and carries on cleaning up the remnants of sisters night. She was eventually called away but Kara was really glad she got to spend a little time with Alex tonight. Her input honestly had meant the world. Thinking back on the conversation Kara grins.

“Kar, I’m so happy you’re taking this step for yourself, maybe the Doc can even talk some sense into you about Mon-el as well.” Kara had rolled her eyes at the last bit.

She shrugged, “I know you don’t like him Al, but honestly he’s one of the reasons I even considered doing this, I’m hoping this will bridge the gap in our relationship. You know help us build our intimacy.”

With a popcorn kernel tossed at Kara’s head, Alex cries out “Ick I don’t need the details of my little sister’s ‘intimacy’ with her man child of a boyfriend, please and thank you”

Honestly the support felt amazing, despite Alex’s vocal dissent on their relationship. Kara stays confident that they could work it out.

She hadn’t felt comfortable bringing up these new feelings she was having towards Lena quite yet and honestly she thinks it might just be a fluke. Plus Alex is unaware that Dr. Kieran a woman, well I guess everyone is unaware. But regardless, she felt like a new woman with a brand new mission, she was going to salvage her and Mon-el’s relationship one way or another.She sighs looking at the missed calls from him on her phone.

_okay.. I will start salvaging tomorrow._

After she finishes straightening up, Kara heads to her bed, hoping to catch some Z’s finally. Her body feels heavy like lead and she’s not sure how long she can stay upright, she is barely conscious by the time she finishes brushing her teeth and collapses into her sheets. Unfortunate for her, as her head hits the pillow, her eyes shoot open and her mind runs at a pace that would have Barry Allen shaking in his boots.

_Just forget it Kara, don’t be a perv. She didn’t know it was you._

But Kara can’t seem to stop replaying the words the fell from Lena’s lips.

“ _I’ve just about fucked myself unconscious”_

Kara’s mouth waters a little. This has never happened to her. Hell, she doesn’t even really know what this means.

_Am I gay?_ Kara wonders. _And how the fuck has this woman already gained such a hold over my libido when I, personally, don’t even have the slightest grasp on it_.

She just has no idea what to do about it. _I could call Mon-el._ Kara rolls her eyes and squeezes her thighs together in frustration. _Fuck it I am going to bed, screw this._ Kara abruptly rolls over, colliding softly with her body pillow, her leg is still mid air from having it up to gain leverage and momentum to rotate her tired body. A moan slips from her lips.

_Oh._

Kara experimentally rolls her hips to rub her aching pussy against the soft pillow she now finds her self half wrapped around. She groans at the friction it creates as her body sinks into the movement, her shoulders tense and her eyebrows furrow. Her teeth grit together as warmth spreads throughout her body and a stickiness makes itself known between her legs.

_I bet I look so fucking stupid. Humping a stupid pillow._

Nevertheless, Kara continues to grind into the pillow, feeling her wetness grow by the second. The feel of her stiff clit dragging across the pillow with each gyration causes her to moan.

_Okay okay this feels too good just try and power through Danvers, think about mon-el. His strong arms— well not as strong as me but- fuck so not the point. Moving on. Um yes, his big dick , oh please its mediocre at best, slowly entering me._ Kara cringes violently and shakes her head to clear the intrusive thoughts, her fists clench.

_Okay um thats not working let's just try something else, yeah?  
_ At this point tears have gathered in her eyes, she is letting out frustrated puffs and the condensation from her hot breath and has left the pillow damp below her. She can no longer focus except on the fact that this is so not working.

_This is fucking stupid._

Kara once again rolls over into the opposite direction and tries to ignore the uncomfortable pulse she feels between her legs. She cries herself to sleep that night with one last thought on her mind, _I need help._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay folks, this chapter is a little heavier, and the next one won't fare much better. pls enjoy

LENA POV

Lena startles awake and searches for the clock to find that its 630am, the morning light is barely making it through her windows. She hits the snooze.

_5 more minutes won’t hurt._

She groans and slides the blankets she had kicked off during the night back over her up to her chin. As her breath evens out, the door creaks open and a small body quietly snuggles under the blanket next to her.

“Mornin mommy, is it time for school yet?” Lena cracks an eye open to make out the silhouette of Colin, who is in the process of climbing directly on top of her.

“maidin mhaith, darling” Lena grumbles out the Irish Gaelic. “No, it’s not quite time yet, love.” As she runs her hands through her son’s hair, she realizes its wet.

“Bug.”

“hmph?”

“Bug, why is your hair wet?”

“Oh I took a shower all by myself momma! Look I am even dressed too!”

Lena chuckles and throws the covers off of them, Colin sits up in her lap and smiles nervously at his mom. Lena takes note of the mismatching socks but, on the whole she notices that Colin really did a swell job. His cute little black jeans and t-shirt covered in a Dino pattern makes her smile.

“You look very handsome, bug.” She pulls him back into her embrace and buries her nose into the wavy curls that cover the top of his head. “You even smell good too, job well done sir.”

“Well I was hoping that my treat today, is like a reaaaaal good one. Auntie said yesterday that if I play my cards right, whatever that means, um that you might even get me that little chemists table set.” Colin is shaking with excitement. “So I got myself ready today! I even fed Althea! Because I’m a big boy in the first grade and about to be 7! but also also mostly because um I really would like that table set.. um yea, please” His big green eyes sparkle and he beams.

_A nerd just like his mommy, and resourceful one at that, because I know for a fact that Althea’s cat food is out of reach, even for me. mental note to have Jess order that table set ASAP._

Lena laughs a pokes at her son’s stomach, “you’re growing up way too fast, bug.” She hauls herself and Colin upright, shuts the alarm off, and heads towards to kitchen to feed the little genius. After breakfast, Lena corals Colin and has him gather his project and backpack up before heading straight down to his driver and often times nanny, Marie. With a kiss and an “I love you” he is off for the day.

Lena speeds through the rest of her Tuesday morning, dressing in a sleek burgundy suit and her trademark heels, throwing her hair up, and finally, downing her black coffee after almost choking on her dry toast. By the time she makes it into her garage, the clock reads 830am.

_Perfect._

Lena starts up her Audi and quickly heads to the office that is down the street from her company’s head quarters. Although she is CEO, she finds that most days she works at her practice. Sam is an absolute unit of a work horse and Lena is incredibly grateful for her and her ability to take on any responsibility she delegates. It’s only once she is settled into her big leather chair, behind her ornate wooden desk, that Lena remembers about the new plans at noon. With a quick email, she lets Jess know of her addition to the calendar and asks her to let the front desk security know to expect Ms. Danvers.

Her intercom crackles to life. “Dr. Kieran, that is your lunch hour.” Lena can hear the subtle scolding and smiles.

“That’s alright Jess, I promise to take a late lunch, also please note that Mr. Peterson called to cancel his 2 o’clock.”

“Yes ma’am”

Lena cuts in “Oh and Jess, please order SmartLab’s little chemist table set for Colin. Same day delivery if at all possible. Thank you.”

“Right away Doc.” Lena can hear the grin through the intercom. Jess and Colin get on like a house on fire, to be fair though, her son becomes fast friends with everyone he meets.

Lena gets to work, reading those reports that she neglected yesterday. Afterwards, she ends up making some calls to R&D on the new model and the bugs that need to be fixed. She also calls her stateside distributors to confirm what date they will need Good Vibrations’ next shipment by. Although her adult toys are in select and limited locations, they are sought after by the masses because of the high quality. With that being said, in this day and age, many of her company’s business dealings happen online.

_People are horny and ashamed of that, even though they have no reason to be, but either way, why not make it easy for them to get nasty? We stan the anonymity that online consumerism offers us. And I can’t really blame them, there is a reason I go by Kieran rather than Luthor._

In fact, her company strives online. So much so that her brand is recognized internationally. She really got a kick out of the interview she did about her mainly online, Fortune 500, dildo company with Forbes 30 under 30. Lena looks up at the framed magazine cover and shadow box with the first vibrator she engineered, resting on one of the shelves of her large bookcase. A gag gift from Sam. Thoughtful no less. It’s a good picture though, really. Lena is sat, reclined on a golden chaise lounge in a disheveled Tom Ford green velvet tux, in the middle of a shallow fountain. One arm above her head, resting on the back of the chaise and the other arm aloft, holding a tumbler of scotch up as if to cheers the photographer. Around her, women clamber to get near her as water spouts from the fountain’s edges and arches into the air, over her head. She has her face covered with a black lace vail but her inky black hair cascades down past the brim into luscious waves, her chin is lifted up smugly. Only she knows of the smirk firmly planted on her lips, of her brow lifted, and how her eyes are staring deeply into the lens. The titles reads “She’s Not Just Drowning In Cash.” The implication was clear but that didn’t mean she would let Sam have her fun the day it was released.

“Pussy, Lena, they have to mean pussy. Drowning in muh fuckin pussy. What else could they be talking about” Sam had exclaimed. Lena had cringed at the volume of her voice. “I can’t believe you came out to the public officially in a fucking Forbes article. That is fucking legend shit.”

“They could be referencing me drowning in the mountain of yet to be boxed and shipped dildos, fleshlights, and vibrators just over your left shoulder, there?” Lena pointed just beyond Sam.

Sam had looked behind her, rolled her eyes as she quickly closed the blinds to the window in the conference room that over looked the warehouse. “That doesn’t count.” Lena had just rolled her eyes and snickered at her best friend’s antics.

Brought out of her reverie, Jess’ voice once again comes through, “Dr. Kieran, Mr. Avalon is here for his 10:30 appointment.”

_Shit, right. Okay focus up Kieran, game time._

_“_ Alright, please forward all my calls to voicemail. Tell him I will be right in Jess. Play room #1.”

Lena sighs and takes off her blazer. She hangs it over her chair and begins to roll her silk sleeves up her forearms. At one last glance of the clock, she starts a the timer on her watch.

_Hour and a half on the clock._

Because Mr. Avalon is a long time client, there will be no preamble, only reflection and conversation afterwards. She grabs her riding crop and steps through the adjoining door into a quiet room. She levels her stare at the 6’4 hockey player currently sat on her well worn leather chair, looking mighty guilty. Walking towards the client, she engages with him, “Mr. Avalon, were you a good boy this week?” He squirms. She drags the crop over the back of his shoulders and down the front of his chest as she circles around the chair, coming to a stop in front of him. She gently lifts his chin with the end of the crop, until his eyes meet her own. She knows the answer already. “Right then, let’s get down to it.”

 _Poor dude, good thing he likes this thing._ With a resounding crack to his upper thigh, quite close to his crotch, he moans and begs for more. And of course, Dr. Kieran obliges. 

KARA

Kara is standing in front on a decent size building, looking towards the sky and admiring the modern architecture and clean lines. She is just trying pass time before she’s meant to head to Dr. Kieran’s office. After moments of contemplation, Kara looks at her phone, it read 1143am, she decides now is good enough.

_15 minutes early is on time, on time is late._

She walks in and immediately is greeted by security. After gaining clearance she is escorted to the top floor. The guards tell her that she needs at least one of them with her in order to access Dr. Kieran’s floor.

_I wonder why Lena needs such protections._

As the doors slide open, Kara thanks the security guards and walks into a considerably large waiting area. The assistant from the phone, Jess, pops her head up from behind her computer screen and smiles.

“Hello, Miss Danvers, it’s wonderful to meet you. Dr. Kieran is just finishing up with a client and will be with you shortly. You can choose any seat and relax.”

“Thank you.” Kara simpers. She choses a seat near the corner of the office, out of Jess's sight. The alcove is surrounded by windows, and that's partially why she chose it, because Kara at her most simplified being, base level, is just a giant cat that wants to sunbathe and will go to great lengths to find the beam of light in any setting and then plop herself directly in it.

 _Ah a nice breeze too._ Kara notes that it’s coming from an open window to the right.

As she settles in, Kara tunes in to a specific noise subconsciously. Lena's heartbeat. She smiles and relaxes in the chair, closing her eyes, feeling hypnotized and completely disarmed by the steady thump. Minutes pass and woefully, her superhearing is juvenile and unwilling to be controlled when she completely relaxes, so she begins hearing somethings that maybe she shouldn’t be privy to. Her eyes widen and her cheeks color crimson. Her fingers twitch on her thighs as she tries to correct her mistake.

“ _Mistress please, I need to cum, please”_

“ _Well I don’t know Mr. Avalon, why should I help such a pathetic excuse of a man? What’s in it for me?”_

_Oh golly. Lena’s voice sounds so different. Is such a_ **_good_ ** _way. So disinterested yet attentive? How is that possible?_

Kara feels immobilized, as if she were stuck in a stretch of quicksand. She tries hard to reign her hearing back in but can’t seem to get a hold on it.

_What the fuck why can’t I control myself?_

_“I need answers now Mr. Avalon, or I won’t be helping you at all, I’ll ask once more: What is in it for me?”_ A snapping sound punctuates each word of her question. The echos bleed through the walls and reaches Kara’s ears and Mr. Avalon sounds breathless.

_What is that snapping noise?_

_“FUCK YOU, I DON’T NEED THESE FUCKING GAMES, YOU BITCH”_

And just like that the quick sand melts away and instead it’s like a spring board is placed under her feet. She is up in an instant, not liking the angry tone of this Mr. Avalon. She moves to take a step towards the commotion but stops short. Lena’s voice cuts back in.

“ _YES! FUCKING FINALLY, Cum. Cum right now, Greg. Let me see you burst, handsome.”_ Kara’s brows furrow and she feels conflicted.

 _Why would she reward this rude man?_ _Rao snap out of it Kara._

“ _That’s it honey. You did so well, I’m so proud of you. This is exactly what I meant when we were speaking last week about setting boundaries, Greg. You do not need anyone’s permission for release, especially mine. You’re not in that house anymore, she can’t hurt you, honey. Nobody can make you do something you don’t want to do. You will no longer take a verbal beating just to feel valued, understood?”_ Kara can hear whimpering, and knows she needs to stop now, listening to this is a breach-

Greg’s voice comes through wet and raspy, and Kara can tell that he’s crying, “ _Why would she make me think that though, why would she do this to me?”_

_“I know honey, she’s a decrepit human and she was an awful Domme to you, she never deserved your unwavering servitude, she should have never asked for more than you were willing and able to give, it was wrong. I am so proud of you, today. You are such a good boy. I think that we are very close to you not needing me as an active participant at all.”_

Kara sits back down, realization hitting her like a ton of bricks. _Oh. Poor Greg._

She shakes her head and finally, successfully tunes out of what she surely believes to be a breakthrough. Guilt gnaws on her. She feels gross for invading such a private moment. She is sure that if gravity ceased to exist she would fall straight through the Earth’s crust and sink until she was met with molten hot lava, the temperature akin to the shame that’s currently crawling up from the depths of her stomach. _I should go._

KARA/LENA (POV SWITCHES BETWEEN THE TWO)

She’s smiling so hard right now that Lena thinks she might have a jaw ache later. Greg has never stood up to her ostracizing him before. She is so proud that she feels her joy leaving her body in waves.

“Thank you Lena, thank you so much” Greg’s tears make her heart ache wonderfully. She is so happy for him. Lena moves hug Greg after he is finished cleaning the remnants of his release up. He sinks into her embrace.

“I’m so proud of you.” They both sigh in relief. “Your release is yours, and no one else’s, Understood? And setting boundaries doesn’t make you selfish or wrong, it is the most important thing you could do for yourself.” He nods into the crook of Lena’s neck.

“I am so sorry that she put you through all of that. But I want you to know that her actions were never about you, honey. They were a reflection of the ugliness inside her. Never a reflection of you, you brilliant, beautiful man.” She breaks from his hold and hands him a bag full of gatorade and snacks from the armoire in the corner. She then ushers Greg to the area of the room partitioned off. She has him lay down in the bed and spreads the arnica ointment on his thighs and then dries his tears with a hand towel, “What do you need from me, honey?”

“I think I am okay, can I just lay down for a while before I finish getting dressed and leave? I think I just need a minute alone to reflect” A smile graces his face for the first time in the last hour.

“Of course, Greg. I’ll just be right through that door, please knock if you need me, okay? I’m gonna head out the main door first to let Jess know the room will stay occupied a little while longer than usual, but I will be in my office directly after that.” He nods and quietly thanks her once again.

She squeezes his shoulder, gathers some things that need to be washed from the session as well asher riding crop and heads out into the waiting room. When she gets through the door she walks straight to the room adjacent to put the towels in to the washer and the toys into a utility sink, knowing the custodial crew will take care of them properly. She washes her hands while watching the water circles down the drain, and with it, the stress of the last hour and a half ebbs away until all she’s left with is the exultation of Greg’s breakthrough. As she exits, she runs smack dab into none other than Kara Danvers.

“Ooomf” _fuck did I just walk into a wall, what the fuck?_ She looks up and a smile fills her features. _Not a wall, just a hunk of kryptonian._ Lena chuckles and resiles her hands from the arms in front of her, “Kara! Hello, I’m sorry, I just need to talk with Jess and then we can move this into my office.”

“Oh actually I-“ Kara stammers and quiets down as quickly as she begins talking. Her forearms burn from Lena’s touch. _Just think of something and leave dude, an emergency._

“Jess, please keep the custodians out of PR #1 until further notice, Mr. Avalon will need a minute.”

“Sure thing, boss” Jess replies.

Lena turns and looks expectantly at Kara. “Follow me, please.” She gestures to her office door.

Kara means to leave, but finds her self already obeying Lena’s beckoning. She comes to stop inside Lena’s office and takes a moment to let her eyes wander. Her walls and bookcase are covered in accolades, pictures and knick knacks. It also seems that every nook and cranny is filled with plants and big thick books. The wall behind her desk is all glass and the sunlight brings in warmth the casts a calm aura on the entire room. Kara can also see a small terrace past the walls of glass.

 _huh_ _o_ _ne of the windows must slide open._

“Please Kara, have a seat.” And Kara does.

_This woman holds so much power. Should I be worried? Fuck it._

Lena shuts the door behind her and takes a breath. With Kara’s back now to her she takes a moment to let her eyes glide over the kryptonian.

_Wow, just incredible. 10/10 would fu- Stop it Kieran._

She maneuvers around her office to reach her dinette and pours herself a glass of water, “Kara, would you like a glass?”

Kara clears her throat, “Oh um yes, thank you Dr. Kieran” Lena raises a brow at the formality of it all. “I mean Lena, sorry.”

Something is off about the superhero and Lena feels inclined to dig in. She hands the glass to Kara who accepts is shakily, and sits opposite her. Lena smiles warmly and tilts her head, “is everything alright Kara?”

Kara has never been one to lie well, and she prides herself on rarely having to do so. Under the pressure of the situation she decides to come clean.

“I did something incredibly wrong Lena, and I apologize.” She sets her water down on a nearby coaster and takes a breath. Her hands wringing she admits softly, “Sometimes when I relax, my hearing can run free, so I make it a point to never truly relax unless I am in the comforts of my own space. But something about the sound of your heartbeat calms me to no end.” Lena smiles. “So there I was sitting in the waiting room and I accidentally tuned straight into your, um meeting.” Lena’s face falls. “I know how wrong it was, and honestly I am disgusted with myself. I think I should go-” Kara makes a move to leave, but just like yesterday morning, Lena’s hand meets her bicep.

“Kara, I am not going to lie and say that this is okay, because it is definitely not.” She exhales. “However I don’t think this is reason enough for you to leave” _What the fuck? of course it is, Kieran. Maybe I ought to hear her out though?_

 _“_ How much of it did you hear?”

Kara grimaces, “Um approximately 45 seconds, I don’t know what happened. Time seemed to stop existing for the duration and I felt like I couldn’t snap back like I usually can. I felt stuck, until I heard him call you a bitch. I was infuriated by his language and worried for your safety, but then I heard what came next before I could react impulsively. And by the time I realized what was happening, I was able to regain control. But that is no excuse for it” And then, “I am so incredibly sorry.”

Lena recognizes Kara’s struggle with control for what it is, the root of most of her issues. That much Lena can tell already. She can’t seem to fault the woman for something she is desperately trying to get a grasp on.

_But does she need more control or does she crave an absence of control? that is the question._

While searching for a solution, she lets the emotions in the room settle. She watches the look of self loathing weigh heavy on Kara’s features and finds that she really hates the way it changes Kara’s demeanor. Lena can tell that she is genuine in her remorse and her brazen honesty is startling. Lena also finds it very unsettling how it seems that Kara has turned all of her strength inwards and is already punishing herself. She tracks her hands as Kara pinches herself discreetly with a force that no human alive could probably sustain. 

_Such a good person. She needs help. I can help her._

Clearing her throat, “I am not the one that can afford you forgiveness for the eavesdropping, but I can help you forgive yourself for something evidently out of your control. I know you are a good person, Kara and I can tell that this was a mistake. One you wouldn’t make again knowingly. We need to find a working solution for this situation before we move forward though.”

“I agree completely.” Kara winces and her voice crack. She begins to internally censure herself.

_Distgusting, vile, horr-_

Lena interjects, “You mentioned that you never really relax unless you are in your own space, correct?”

“Uh yes, it's where I feel most safe to be myself.”

Lena thinks, _Ah safety, understandable that this is something she hyper focuses on. Does this mean that she can never truly be herself around others? I’m sure the trauma of her childhood also creates fixation of safety, but is that directed at those around her, I.e. the citizens of NC? Does she ever worry about her own safety?Does anyone worry about her safety? She is powered by the yellow sun, that much I remember from Lex’s maniacal chattering about turning the sun red, maybe I could create a device of sorts to help her relax at home, a red sun emulator. Mental note, mental note, mental note!_

“Okay I propose that, in future sessions, we move this to a more neutral space for you then.”

“You me-mean my apartment?” Kara looks dumbfounded but her voice is filled with hope and _Hesitancy?_ “Is that allowed, are you sure?”

“Yes, I think that in order for this to work, you will need to feel safe, and your comfort is pertinent to a successful experience. And to be honest, I need to keep my other patient’s experiences private as well, I hope you understand.”

Quietly a reply comes, “Of course, I 100% agree. I wish I could apologize to Mr. Avalon myself.” Kara pinches the meat between her fingers in spite of herself.

“That may be something we can work on, You’ll never be able to actually tell him because of privacy laws and what not but maybe we can work through some exercises that can apply to this situation and any other situation that you might be holding onto.” Lena says knowingly with a pointed look.

Kara nods solemnly. Lena thinks that this might not be such a productive meeting from here on out if she doesn’t take lead. “Okay, why don’t we work through these last few questions from yesterday’s session and then you can head out”

Another nod.

“We can set up our next session as well, if that sounds good to you?.” Lena baits.

Kara nods once more.

“Kara, I am going to need you a little more verbal moving forward, yes?”

With a bated breath Kara finally speaks once more, “yes ma’am.”

“Excellent.” Lena moves to the seat behind her desk and pulls out the sheet from yesterday and her notes as well, “Alright lets just dive right in, how often do you have sex?”

Stoically Kara replies, “um at least once a week or so”

Lena nods and crosses her legs, “and masturbation?”

Kara coughs and feels as though her lungs are seizing under the weight of the answer she needs to give.

“I don’t usually” her voice comes out as meek, a stark contrast to the boisterous tone she carries most of the time.

Lena looks up from her notes, “I’m sorry, can you elaborate?”

“Um I’ve never”

“Oh” Lena’s eyes unfocus for a moment, trying to process.

“I mean I- I have tried um, once. Pretty recently. The experience ended in only frustration and tears.”

Lena drops her pen and rolls back from her desk slightly. She looks directly into Kara’s eyes, and gently asks, “Kara, I’ve been operating under the notion that you have experienced and orgasm at least once, and that you were only having issues with your boyfriend, should I change that?”

 _oh yeah, him._ Kara sighs.

A tear falls from Kara’s deep blue eyes and she feels incredibly embarrassed, “um yes, that would probably be wrong to continue under that assumption.”

“Oh honey.” Kara flinches at the pet name, knowing full well that Greg was honey not 20 minutes ago.

“uh yeah” Kara’s eyebrows furrow and she looks down through glistening eyes at her joined hands. “Can we maybe move on?”

“Of course, Kara, but we will need to go back to that in the future” Lena scans back down the list and takes a sip of her water, willing herself to move on and not dwell on the fact that this beautiful woman has never truly known pleasure.

_A tragedy if you ask me._

“Should we also work under the assumption that you haven’t really experimented with ways that feels comfortable for you to show and express desire, lust, and love, etcetera?” Kara nods rapidly but adds, “At least romantically. I am actually pretty tactile with my family and friends, So I do know how to show love to them.”

“Okay Kara I think that is enough for today, you did well.” She’s sends Kara a supportive smile. “In our next session we should go into depth on any mental illness you have experienced as well as traumatic experiences. They will be integral in figuring out what steps we take next. I don’t think we should touch on those today because I have a feeling this has been extremely draining for you already.”

Kara gulps at the prospect and nods again, “yeah that sounds like a good idea, Doc. Thank you”

Lena and Kara stand simultaneously and Lena moves to pull out Kara’s messenger bag from the safe behind her. She hands it over, “Okay honey, how about you set up your appointment with Jess and leave your address with her, or you can text it to my number if you’re worried about the security of your identity. Sound like a plan?”

Kara nods, “yes, sounds solid, I’ll just see myself out then. Thank you again, Lena” She offers a hand that Lena takes softly. Lena then clasps kara’s hand betwixt her own and bids her farewell with a smile.

As the door shuts, Lena plops back into her chair and drops her head into her hands.

_Hopefully this next session grants us reprieve from today’s heaviness. Although I have a sneaking suspicion it’s going to get worse before we make any progress._

LENA

Later that night, after a day full of sessions that ran late, and long after Colin has gone to bed, she finds herself reclined on the sofa with a glass of red while a true crime show drolls on in the background. She stares at Sam, who glimpses back out of the corner of her eye, smiling. Sam knew it wasn’t a great day for Lena, unlike yesterday. She can tell that Lena has a major headache by the way she winces whenever Hulu cuts to ad breaks and the screen outpours bright colors and loud noises in juxtaposition to the actual show’s dark tones and quiet dialogues. She can also tell that’s she’s having a bad day because Lena hasn’t once ridiculed the murderer’s methodology, and that is honestly more telling than anything else.

_Maybe if I ask really nicely, Sam will play with my hair._

She drags her body towards Sam with a grunt to exemplify her effort. Lena lets her head rest on her taller woman’s thigh, even going as far as quickly nipping at her exposed skin. Hopefully cluing Sam in before she has to verbally beg.

_That was nice enough._

“Ouch you bitch.” Lena gives a small smile and offers a shrug. Sam rolls her eyes but smiles as she begins carding her fingers through Lena’s long locks, “Fine, you insufferable, needy, beautiful woman, but I expect compensation in the form of a night out sometime soon. No exceptions” The words lack bite and Lena knows Sam is just trying to act normal, because if there is one thing Lena won’t tolerate, it is pity.

Lena’s phone pings to her left. The notification reads, “Calendar update by Jess” Lena adjusts slightly and taps to expand the banner, “Next Friday, @6pm Kara Danvers” followed by an address. She presses confirm and locks her phone with a quiet groan.

Lena reaches forward to mute the TV, “So I agreed to meet a client, outside of the office for sessions.”

Stillness follows. Sam has stopped running through Lena’s hair.

“Thats new.”

“Yeah, I- um, I think it’ll be alright”

“Is that allowed?” Sam inquires with a look of confusion.

“You know she asked the same thing” Lena sighs. “I mean there isn’t a rule about it by any means, but it definitely dismantles a couple boundaries I’ve set with other patients.”

_What am I doing? I am breaking cardinal rules that I’ve set for myself. I mean come on dude._

Lena did set some boundaries for herself. They are necessary in her line of work. Along with the regulations and rules that her psychology licensure require of her, she created what she likes to call: Lena’s Declassified Sexual Surrogacy Survival Guide. She felt the need to do this because sexual surrogacy is not as common for most sex therapists. It was her own choice to exclusively offer this experiential treatment and she needed to draw a line in the sand at what she was willing to do for clients. Typically surrogates wouldn’t include intercourse with the client as part of their treatment, its uncommon enough that Lena felt uncomfortable with the idea of it. So her first rule she set was that she would not be fucking any of her patients. If they truly needed it, she would bring in another certified surrogate to help. After trial and error in the infancy of her career, and a couple cases of stalkers following Lena home, she also amended that she wouldn’t be comfortable touching any clients sexually at all. Platonically? Yes of course. Indirectly? Sure. She found that keeping her self physically distanced kept patients from growing inappropriately attached to her, and honestly she is so good at her job that it doesn’t cause the clients to feel like the experience is impersonal and cold. For example today she used a riding crop to bridge the distance between herself and Mr. Avalon. She also included a rule that states that there will be no kissing, finding it too intimate. Finally she knew that she couldn’t allow herself to be accessible to her patients at all times, so she enforces a strict schedule and only allows for contact through the correct avenues. By her tally she has already broken 1 of her self regulated rules in regards to Kara.

Sam can see the cogs working in Lena’s head and literally snaps her out of it before she doom spirals, “Hey stop that. You are an expert and a professional. This isn’t breaking any rules, you said so yourself. Let’s find our rationality. Is this a necessary step to take?”

Without missing a beat, “Yes, there isn’t another practical solution let alone a viable one.”

“Okay and do you feel pressured to do this?”

Immediately, “No, it was my idea, She had nothing to do with it.”

_So defensive, tone it down._

Lena swallows, “Sorry I just mean no, if anything the client was hesitant at first, not wanting to cross any boundaries.”

“So if it's necessary and you are doing it of free will, then stop worrying, trust yourself. I know that I trust your judgement” Lena nods and snuggles back down into her best friend.

“Thank you Samantha”

“Ugh you know I hate when you use my full name” They both laugh as Sam gently tugs on a raven lock. “It’s like I have 3 children. All so needy, always hanging on me. Get up and go to bed you nerd.”

“Yes, mother.” Lena jests, and rolls her body dramatically to the floor in an effort to stand.

Shaking her head, Sam offers, “Night boss”

Once she’s perpendicular to the floor she sends a mock salute to Sam. She hears laughter and an exclamation of “Fucking dork” as she disappears down the hall. Making a quick pitstop to peek her head into Colin’s room, she see’s he’s out cold snoring lightly. She continues on to her room and once in bed she falls asleep with a smile, feeling significantly better than she was before her talk with Sam.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up right where we left off but from Kara's POV. TW for self harm in the beginning of this chapter.

KARA

_It’s late. Maybe I should just go to sleep_

But instead of listening to her voice of reason, Kara finds her self staring upwards, counting the metal rungs of her exposed industrial style ceiling. She supposes that she should be paying attention to Mon-el, as he moves above her and well, inside of her, but she can’t seem to bring herself to care. Her hands lay gently on his sweaty upper back and she every so often gives a disinterested moan, hoping it spurs him on so he finishes faster, or even convinces him that she’s having fun.

 _Sort of wish I could convince myself I am having fun too._ Kara rolls her eyes and blinks back the tears she feels threatening to fall. Mon-el’s thrusting grows more rapid and less consistent. With every jump of his hips, his chin scruff scrapes across Kara’s neck and she recoils minutely. She knows he’s close.

_39, 40, 41…_

“You feel so good” Kara tries but she thinks she sounds like someone is holding a gun to her head. He just moans in response.

_Please just hurry the fuck up already._

She bites his neck and moans more pointedly in his ear. Silently cursing herself because the movement caused her to lose count of the metal rungs above her. As she begins counting again and soon enough he lets out a cringeworthy grunt and pulls out. No longer being jostled by him, Kara just lays still and watches, devoid of any emotion, as he empties himself right onto her laddered stomach. He’s smiling through his panting. She closes her eyes and lets a breath go, searching for any ounce of strength she can find to collect her scattered thoughts. A minute later, she opens her eyes and sees that he has moved to laying next to her, hot breath on her neck, eyes gradually closing, dopey look on his face.

Kara breaks.

_I just can’t._

She stands and hastens towards the bathroom.

“Kara, where are you going? Whats wrong?”

“I’m getting in the shower.” She turns to leave the room but stops and looks over her shoulder at the befuddled man that has taken up residence in her bed. “I need you out of here before I get back, please. I’m sorry, I just- I need some time alone, please Mon.”

She doesn’t wait for an answer but instead closes and locks the door before starting the water. As she rinses her body off she hears him muttering and stomping around her loft, waiting until the whack of the door being slammed solidifies her solitude. She props herself up against the cold shower wall and shivers. She slowly begins slipping down until her legs give and she falls all at once to the shower floor, the tile cracks below her.

_Great job dumb ass._

Hugging her knees and crying, she wishes there was some way to feel better, wishes that the water would shed her of her problems and take them down the drain. She thought maybe she’d spend the night recuperating from the emotional turmoil of her session with Lena and the Supergirl emergency that followed almost immediately after.

 _But no, Snapper needed me to come and proof read a single fucking article._ She laughs despairingly wiping the snot away from her nose. _He was the one who told me to stay out and chase headlines today! And when I do that. He walks back on his statements and denies them! I have the fucking emails!_ _And then I come home to this._ She shakes her head.

When she made it home, Mon-el had already let himself in.She was so ready to unpack the emotional luggage that accumulated during this shitstorm of a day but as she walked through the door she was greeted by him as he rummaged through her fridge. This led to more all around bad decision making. She remembers thinking, _What better way to punish myself for the misgivings of the day than to just have sex that I know I won’t enjoy. Perfect._

So here she was, after serving her self prescribed penance. Feeling none better but somehow more disappointed and disgusted with herself than before.

_I can’t believe I just used him as PUNISHMENT. What the fuck is wrong with you Zor-el? Nobody deserves that. You’re just making mistake after mistake today aren’t you?_

She makes a split second decision. Abruptly Kara stands and shuts the water off. She walks to the the bathroom sink and leans forward, bracing her hands on the marble with her head hanging low. She watches the beads of water trickle down her forearms and pool on the countertop and then her eyes connect with the compact mirror that resides next to her soap dispenser. She grabs it and turns to lean back against the counter.

_I shouldn’t. I haven’t in so long._

Ignoring her voice of reason once more, Kara takes a few steps forward and opens the tank of her toilet where a small lead box hides. She lifts the lid and takes out the glowing rock. It burns her fingers slightly and she feels instantly nauseas, but she doesn’t return the rock just yet. She sets in on the counter and resumes leaning back in her previous position, back against the sink, compact mirror raised. 

She stares into the tiny mirror, looking at herself with a boiling hatred, she feels as though she is going to scream or combust from the red hot shame she feels.

_Whichever comes first is fine with me._

She levels the smaller mirror to be able to see into the reflection of the larger mirror behind her instead of her own face. Her free hand gathers her hair to the opposite shoulder to reveal the only thing Kara has ever been good at lying about. Her best kept secret, or well, it was her best kept secret. Now 3 people know about this although it wasn’t her choice for them to find out. Eliza and Alex know. Mon-el too, he just barely noticed if she’s being honest, and she’s pretty sure he never understood really, never cared to ask. She eyes the angry lashes that litter her upper back, along the spine, between her shoulder blades. 30 little, uniform, self inflicted reminders of the the times that Kara has let herself down, or felt that she lost control.

She remembers the desperation and shock in Alex’s voice when she saw them the first time by accident, through tears she spoke, “Oh my god Kara, is someone hurting you?! Who is it?! _”_ Alex is no dummy, and the look on Kara’s face following the question was answer enough for her big sister.

“Oh kar.” At that point Kara had been crying hysterically trying to explain why she was doing it. Trying to explain the guilt, the anger, the all consuming need to punish herself, a need that gnawed at her and refused to be ignored. Alex had just wrapped her in a hug, “You are too hard of yourself. Kar, you’ve never deserved this. Please, please let me help you, please stop this nonsense. Mom can help too.”Kara was 23 when they intervened. And honestly she hasn’t felt it necessary to continue the ritual, not since the last time she harmed herself, the Red K incident. So yeah, it has been a long time, and she hasn't felt that need in a long while.. Until now.

_What’s one more? Or maybe two for both infractions. One for Mr. Avalon, and one for using Mon-el. It’s not like anyone will know. I mean there’s mon-el, but I don’t think I will see him for a couple of days after the sudden ending to our night together._

Kara shakes her head as her bloodshot eyes transform from bright glistening blue to a glowing red. She makes her decision.

_Even if I did see him, he would never find out, he said that he doesn’t like looking at my scars and that’s the reason they’re always fucking in missionary._

The truth of her thoughts fills her body to the brim with rage and pushes her over the edge. Kara lets out a silent scream as she she directs her striking blue heat vision into the small compact mirror in her hand, which reflects the beam onto the larger mirror posterior to her, and in turn reflects once more to burn her own back. Pain engulfs Kara’s body and mind, causing her head to empty and thoughts to dwindle. The only thing that exists in that moment is the control she feels. The rest of her body feels numb, hot and jittery all at the same time. She groans as she finishes seering two fresh lines into her usually impenetrable skin. Once done, she stares for a minute in silent relief, until the weight of her actions hit her, and then she cries. She returns the small amount of kryptonite to its home, shuts the lights off, and then collapses into her bed, and cries some more _._

__

KARA

It’s been a 9 days since she's relapsed. Mon-el hasn’t reached out to her nor has she harmed herself again. Neither of those things make her jump for joy though.

_You’ve always had a flare for the dramatics._

Kara rolls her eyes at herself and then rolls out of her blanket cocoon. It’s early morning still and she needs to head to work before Snapper gets there, in hopes of flying under his radar. She stops at Noonan’s to grab a pick me up after getting ready and heading out. While waiting for her order, Kara notes that she hasn’t really been all that present outside of her duties as Supergirl. More withdrawn. Sure she is still Sunny Danvers in front of who matters but she hasn’t been overcompensating like she used to after a self harm binge. Even so her anger towards herself still simmers just below the surface. Her act is pretty good though, not even Alex has caught on. But Kara knows, and that’s enough for her to grit her teeth together every time she’s reminded of her actions that day. She feels jaded.

A barista calls her name to the counter and she grabs her coffee and sweet treat. She thanks them and drops a tip into the jar. When she turns to leave her foot catches on the freshly mopped floors and she tumbles to her knees. Looking down, she sighs in relief to see there was no damage to the floors and that she’s managed to preserve her coffee and snack.

_The clumsiness is supposed to be an act, Danvers._

With an eyeroll at her luck, she moves to stand up but is interrupted by a small voice.

“Excuse me Miss, are you okay?”

Kara looks up and immediately smiles. But as it were, it doesn’t feel forced, unlike all of her recent smiles.

“Oh I’m alright, thank you for coming to my rescue though.” The little boy giggles and offers a hand to help her up.

Kara chuckles and takes his hand. She hauls herself up to her feet only to immediately crouch back to eye level, with wide eyes she speaks, “Woah, you’re so strong! What’s your secret?”

The little raven haired boy puffs his chest out and raises a defined eyebrow- _Hmm that’s familiar-_ and proceeds to launch into a ted talk about the importance of eating your greens. Kara listens intently to him, nodding along, until he’s finished his monologue.

“Well then, Popeye, I should pick up some spinach after work so I can grow strong like you!” The boy’s giggle fills the air once more as he throws his arms up to flex.

“Colin?” A frantic voice calls out.

A moment later the woman the voice belongs to makes an appearance. Kara stands to her full height.

_Woah._

As she rounds the corner, Colin bursts out “Auntie! Look I’ve made a new friend!! Her name is-“ He looks back to Kara wide eyed and then stage whispers “What’s your name?”

Kara laughs and whispers her name back.

“Her name is Kara! I came to her rescue when she took a fall!” He nods matter of factly with a sweet smile.

“Oh gosh, Bug, you can’t just go up to strangers like that. I looked up from my phone and you were gone! No more Houdini acts for the rest of the day, you hear me?”

“I’m sorry I just wanted to help the pretty lady! Mommy always says to be kind to those in need.” He stares defiantly back at his aunt. She sighs.

“Alright alright, your mother is usually-

he shakes his head, “always”

Sam nods and rolls her eyes, “always right. But next time let me know, okay David Copperfield? You can’t just run off like that.”

Colin smiles triumphantly, “Sure thing chicken wing!”

Kara chuckles once more and the sounds causes Sam to finally acknowledge her, “Oh hello, thank you for entertaining this little rascal.” Sam tousles his hair while Colin moves to grab his aunt’s phone that had begun ringing from her back pocket.

“No worries at all, he really did come to my rescue though. And shared some great tips so I can grow as strong as him” Kara smiles down at Colin warmly.

Sam doesn’t even try to hide it when her eyes travel down from Kara’s face slowly and back up, taking a moment when her gaze tracks over Kara’s arms and broad shoulders. With a smirk she says, “something tells me you don’t require assistance in that department, stud.”

Kara flushes. _Oh wow. She is so pretty. And she compliments me? Wowowow. Should I flex for her? When Colin did it I thought it was really endearing maybe she wou- No stop it._

Kara flushes and squeaks out, “Ah well, you’re never to old to be taught something new.” _I think I might have a thing for brunettes that look like they could kill me with a single look. Oh Rao._

Sam lifts an eyebrow and bites her lip softly, “I’m sure you could teach me a thing or two. You look _very_ studious.” As she gestures to Kara’s smart looking outfit.

Kara chokes on air and nods, smiling. The blush travels up her neck and before she can even begin to stutter out a response Colin makes his presence known again.

“Auntie, Mommy says that I did a good job helping my new friend and that she wants to talk with you.” Colin offers up her phone and smiles back at Kara. Sam takes it and begins speaking into the phone and waves to Kara in lieu of a goodbye.

Kara redirects her attention back to Colin, trying unsuccessfully to ignore the woman's eyes that still roam over her figure, “Well I better get going, I have to head to work, but hey Popeye?”

“Yes?”

“Eating your greens is very important and serious business.. But you know what else is serious business?” His little brows pull together and he shakes his head no. Kara hands him her treasured treat that is tucked in paper bag, “Sticky buns, my dude” He squeals and says thank you. Kara smiles at Sam and gives Colin a wink before she turns to head out the door, smiling harder than she has in a while.

LENA

When the call connects, Lena isn’t surprised to hear her son launch into a ramble about helping a new friend who fell at the cafe. He’s always been like that and for the life of her she can’t seem to stay mad at his generosity.

“That’s amazing baby, I am very proud of you! You ought to be careful around strangers though, mo mhac” (my son)

“I promise I will be safe. She was just really pretty so I needed to help.”

_Oh boy, my son the heartbreaker. This is gonna be a problem in 10 years time, no?_

Lena chuckles, “Sorry darling, it seems we must share the same affinity for pretty ladies. Can I speak to Auntie Sam please?”

“Of course! Love you! BYE!!!” The rushed parting causes Lena to think that maybe said pretty lady was still in the vicinity.

“Hey, your kid is giving me heart attacks left and right today.”

Lena cackles, “Serves you right. I can’t believe you fell for the fever trick this morning. I saw it coming a mile away.”

“HEY, you said it was fine that we watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. It’s not my fault the kid is a genius and absorbs things like an effing sponge. No in fact I think it’s your fault! You- You and your genius genes!” 

Before she can defend herself, “HE WAS SO CONVINCING DUDE, I four sure thought I would have to call you from the ER. Ruby was never like this.” Lena cackles again, she knew of course that he was fine. She had checked on him before leaving early this morning. She thought that he deserved the day off for his incredible acting.

“Well thanks to my son, you get to play hookey too, so soak it up Arias, because come tomorrow, you’ll be back in the office, getting ridden hard and put away wet.”

Sam gasps and dramatically replies, “do you promise, daddy?”

Today is a good day and the laughs just keep coming, Lena feels euphoric. “Of course, darling, you know I always keep my promises. No but seriously Sam, thank you for watching bug today. I owe you big time.”

“Just wait until we see you later, I have hot goss to dish. I’ve just seen the hottest woman on the planet. I would’ve gotten her number for you too if you hadn’t rudely interrupted. I’m serious Lee, this chick was right up your alley. My alley too if I’m being honest.”

Lena drily replies, “better luck next time comrade, your service it wholly appreciated”

“Yeah yeah, listen, Bug is getting restless but we will see you at home tonight, yeah?”

“Okay okay, I can take a hint. At least take pictures of Colin Kieran’s day off for me okay?” Lena smiles.

“Sure thing boss.” Lena ends the call and finishes the rest of her coffee before heading back into the board meeting that will surely last the next 3 hours. She grimaces and takes a seat at the head of the table that is surrounded by women.

_At least it is not a bunch of old white men mansplaining female pleasure to me._

KARA

Kara’s good mood carries on through out the day, up until Snapper plops her new assignment in front her in the early afternoon. “Here ya go ponytail, let’s see if you can turn something in that warrants the promotion Cat handed to you”

Kara’s shrinks under his gaze. “Sure thing, Snapper. I’m on it.” _Fuck you baldy. I don’t see you having a pulitzer for your writing._

He walks away and leaves Kara to her own devices. She skims over the assignment and writes down some things she will need to research on. She looks up the Company’s address and mission statement as well as its elusive CEO L.K. Luthor. Not much to be seen on the CEO front, apparently not even a full name.

_Leave it to snapper to give me an impossible article._

This woman obviously doesn’t like the limelight all too much, the only thing Kara can dig up is an old Forbes piece that is dated 6 years or so and a bunch of articles related to Lex Luthor. Rumors online say that L.K. is related to the infamous terrorist but it seems she hasn’t talked to any reporter on that.

 _That fucking maniac, ugh._ Kara rolls her eyes.

The Forbes article holds her attention for a bit and Kara finds the cover of that issue hypnotic. She feels a pang of familiarity for the second time today but moves on quickly. She reads the stock market ratings and public consumer reports, and is honestly in awe of the company’s profits as well as their charity work.

_People really seem to sing their praises. Woah a lot of people. Horny bastards._

Kara decides she really can’t blame them for their desires, especially not when she is in the position she is. She finds herself more so jealous. She carries on researching the CFO who seems even less in the public eye, but not by design. She finds the CFO’s linkdin and reads as much as the cite offers but still, not much information other than a name, degrees acquired, and a picture that looks like it was taken from the audience of a convention, grainy and far away.

_Maybe the air of mystery surrounding the CEO keeps people preoccupied and off other company officials' backs._

Kara shrugs. She finds the company mission statement easily enough. The statement causes her entire body to flush and her eyes to bulge.

She whispers out loud, “Here at Good Vibrations we design well-engineered sex toys, to heighten intimacy, and to openly empower the sexual experiences of all kinds. We are making the world a happier place, one sex organ at a time.”

_Oh boy._

Before she leaves, she gives the number Snapper gave her a call and manages to shoulder her way into an appointment with this CEO by grace of Rao alone. The CFO, who she was originally aiming to interview, wasn’t in the office but was well versed in Miss Luthor’s schedule it seems.

She leaves in a rush because L.K. only has very limited time this afternoon. In an effort to beat the clock, Kara discretely flies over in her suit. Once she has changed back into her button down and slacks she walks into the intimidating building and checks in with the front desk. She is escorted to the very top floor by a security guard.

The elevator dings to signal they’ve reached the top floor and the doors open to a sleek and somewhat cold environment. Kara notes that the decor is sparse and minimalist. Very professional. An assistant by the name of Eve, decidedly not friendly, marshals Kara into a large office. The office, much like the first room, is stark white and largely impersonal. She takes a seat in front of the desk as directed and waits for this L.K. to show her face.

SWITCHES BETWEEN KARA AND LENA POV

Lena is rushing. She wants to kill Sam. Not 20 minutes ago she gets a call from her dear friend. Lena rolls her eyes. _Dear friend, more like soon to be dearly remembered friend._

“Hey so you know how you owe me…”

“yes…” followed by a stretch of silence.

“Spit it out Samantha, are you calling to collect a debt or what?”

“You know I swallow, boss” Sam snickered and then “Okay yes I am calling to collect… So I looked at your schedule and saw you have an opening coming up. I would do it but, and if I may remind you Lee, I am watching your evil genius. I know you’re beat from the board meeting but this could be really good publicity for us, especially preceding the roll out of the new line.”

“Sam you didn’t..” Lena’s heart stuttered.

“I did. I really did. I’m sorry, babe! I had to and you know it.”

Lena pinched the bridge of her nose, “Okay okay who is it and how long do I have.”

“A journalist from Catco, didn’t catch a name. And you have about 20 minutes. Tops.” Lena inhaled ready to tear Sam a new one, “Oh what’s that bug? You love mommy? Okay quick tell her”

Sam switched the phone to speaker so Lena could hear her son, “HI MOMMA I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE SUCH A BADASS!!”

Sam interjects, “Colin! Language”

“What it's true!!”

Lena chuckled, “Bug we will talk about you language later, and Sam, never use my son as a metaphorical shield again or I’ll sign your severance package myself. I need to go now because apparently, I have an interview soon. I love you bug!” And then quietly, “I love you as well Sam, but also, maybe sleep with one eye open tonight.”

So that is why she is rushing. She’s been out of the board meeting for about 3 hours now and she’s spent it tinkering in her private lab, neglecting the spinach salad Eve ordered for her. She’s honestly ecstatic because she’s fixed the glitch on the star of her new line. The name is yet to be determined, but essentially she has created a strapless dildo that uses nanotechnology to configure to the specific person donning the toy. The technology is the first of its kind. It’s sensors connect to the person and sends mild electrical shocks and vibrations through the wearer’s sensitive skin based on the movements. The device will target touch receptors of the somatosensory system. Once targets are locked in neurons will be transmitted through the epidermis and subsequently be relayed up to the brain causing the participant to feel touch, temperature, and even feel when the toy gets wet. The design even has a reservoir built in so that it could be filled with synthetic ejaculate so the toy could for all intents and purposes, “cum”. Other practical applications of this technology isn’t lost on her, it could very well be redesigned to be an extremity, like a hand or arm. She hopes to share this knowledge with the medical field ASAP.

She removes her lab coat and safety glasses, then quickly fixes her feet back into her heels before heading to her private elevator. In her annoyance about the reporter waiting for her upstairs and in the excitement of her success, she completely forgets that she is still holding the device in her hand.

_Great, well at least the reporter will know right off the bat how seriously we take our business here. Hopefully. Fuck._

The doors slide open and Lena struts into her office unperturbed no less. Without looking up she moves straight to her desk and sets the device down. She wipes her sweaty palms on her black suit pants and offers a hand as she looks up.

_Oh shit._

“Oh shit.”

Lena cracks a smile and lifts an eyebrow, “My thoughts exactly, Miss Danvers.”

Kara stands clumsily and her eyes slide down Lena’s body slowly.

_Her outfit is killing me slowly. Do I want to be her or be on her? I would ask my sex therapist but-_

Lena sees the confusion pass over Kara’s face, clear as day. “Hi Kara. Yes it is me. Cat is out of the bag I guess.” She shrugs her shoulders and walks to sit down on the white leather couch behind Kara.

Kara’s jaw is still on the floor, and she is very much unhinged. Quickly moving her eyes between staring at Lena and the contraption recently set on her desk,

_Is that a dick? Am I in the wrong place? What the fuck?_

Lena takes the time to think to herself, _What a view, I wonder if the rest of her body feels as firm as her biceps. What a good butt._

Kara takes a moment to realize what is happening and then hurries to correct herself.

She squeaks, “Lenaaaa… Hey”

“Is this a conflict of interest or can we still do this?”

Kara scurries to sit beside her on the white leather couch, “Um no I think we are good to go, I don’t plan on outing myself as sexually stunted in the article.” She winces and lets out a pained laugh.

Lena shoves her playfully, “What did I say about implying that you're broken, Kara.”

Kara clears her throat and blushes, “right right. My bad”

“So Catco, huh?”

“Uh yes ma’am”

Lena lips slightly curl up at the edges as the honorific falls from Kara’s pouty lips. _There’s that ma’am again. I like it too much for my good._

In a show of vulnerability Lena confesses, _“_ I hadn’t realized that you were so well known. I’ve read most of your work actually, well the pieces that Cat has sent me” Kara is once again confused.

_They know each other?_

“We run in the same social circles Kara, I’ve known her for years. I really enjoyed your Pulitzer winning editorial, you are incredibly well written.”

Kara blushes deep red and tries to wave her off.But the hand motion doesn’t stop Lena from noticing the subdued and muted behavior that her blush can’t cover up. The lengthening of her spine, the subtle rolling of her shoulder back, the puffing up of her perky chest. The minuscule jutting of her jaw when she lifted her chin in pride. Kara is preening, a very repressed and cautious preen, but she is.

_Praise seems to effect Kara just about as much as it effects me. Interesting. She craves validation, no matter how bashful she acts when she gets it._

“No seriously, I mean it. I really should’ve put it together. I think I have only heard Cat refer to you as Kiera though. So many different names I better start writing them down as to not forget” She smirks.

Kara continues to blush but powers through, “Ah, I guess I could say the same about you, L.K.. But,thank you. I really appreciate it. Snapper seems to disagree but I am working on changing that. Hopefully this interview helps.”

Lena smiles broadly, “Tell Snapper Carr that L.K. Luthor tells him to eat shit and that he needs to invest in some Rogain.”

_Dimple. Oh rao._

“THATS EXACTLY WHAT I THINK” Kara replies loudly. “I mean great Rao! I firmly believe he refuses to call me anything but ponytail because of his jealousy of these luxurious locks!” She gestures to her hair. “By the way, can I quote you on that? Maybe have you write it in cursive and frame it for my desk?”

Lena nods and lets a full belly laugh out, “I’m glad to see your humor has made an appearance today, I was worried about you after the last time we met.” At the reminder, Kara’s back ignites in shame of that day, but she quickly shakes her head of that thought.

_She was worried?_

Kara adjusts her glasses and smiles gently, “thank you, I had a pretty rough couple of days, if I am being honest, but things are looking up.”

“That is wonderful, I am glad you are starting to feel a bit better. Shall we get started then? I think you should lead this time. My questions are far too inappropriate for your publication.”

Kara wheezes and agrees quietly. “You might be right.”

After she takes a moment to gather herself, she turns to Lena and without a hint of humor utters,“Alright first up: How often do you masturbate?”

_I cannot believe I just asked that. What is this woman doing to me? What the fuck._

Lena looks shocked for a second and the throws her head back. Through the laughter she hears, “Oh you cheeky smart ass” as she swats at Kara’s thigh.

_I want to make her laugh all the time._

The two women spend the next hour goofing around but ultimately do a lot of talking about Good Vibrations and all that is to come for the company in the near future. Kara promises to keep Lena’s pseudonym out of the article and periodically finds herself in reverence of Lena and her many facets.Kara even stutters her way through a PG demonstration of the new toy in Good Vibrations’ up and coming line. In the interest of full transparency, It took her a couple minutes to recover her head from the gutter after Lena explained how the device works- but Kara thinks she will leave that part out of her writing.

When the interview is coming to a close Kara confides, “I must say this is a lot more than I expected to get, today. You wear many hats, doc.” And then she gently bumps Lena’s shoulder with her own, “All those awards and degrees hanging in your real office make so much sense now.”

_I love that she is keen on what office I consider to be my real office, compared to the thinly veiled farce we are currently sitting in._

“Well thank you, Kara.”

“Um I just have one last question, off the record, of course”

“Shoot”

“When I search up L.K. Luthor.. Some things come up that are concerning.”

“Ah.” Lena’s face falls slightly, but she quickly rights herself. “Yes. Lex always did cast a shadow over his little sister so well. You understand the need of my pseudonym now, yes?”

Kara’s heart breaks a little for the woman in front of her.

“I understand if this makes things a little uncomfortable for you Kara, I can refer you to another therapist in my practice if need be. I promise, you would be in good hands.”

Kara rapidly shakes her head no, “What? No, Lena. I don’t want anyone else- I don’t want to work with anyone else. I trusted you the first day we met, and I trust you now.”

“Oh” Lena looks bewildered.

_Must protect soft Lena at all costs._

“The only reason I brought it up was because I noticed that you have heavy security at both buildings. And well I just want you to know, if you are ever in any danger or need a big dumb security guard. I’m your gal. Supergirl at your service and what not.” Kara smiles at her.

_Always worrying about others, even those who she probably has every reason to not give two shits about. So sweet. So pure._

Lena looks away as to hide her glassy eyes. When she fights off the unshed tears, she turns to Kara and smiles, “Thank you, Kara. I truly am in awe of your generosity.”

“Aw no worries, doc. All in a days work and such.” Kara glances at her watch, “The time kind of got away from me, I apologize.” They stand and smile at each other.

“I’ll let you get back to your lab to do mad scientist things, but I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Sure thing.” Lena winks and begins walking backwards towards her desk.

Kara offers a wave over her shoulder and a smile as she reaches the door.

_Oh gosh she’s so pretty, I cannot deal.Get my out of here before I act up._

LENA

It's around 5pm when lena makes her way through the door.

_Finally home._

“MOMMYYYYYYYYYY!”

As Lena turns from shutting her front door, her legs get caught in the vice grip that is her son’s arms. She reaches downs to brush the hair out of Colin’s face, “Hello Ferris, how was baby’s day out?”

“Oh my gosh mommy, I have so much to tell you.” He exclaims with glee. Colin waits for Lena to put her coat on the rack and ditch her shoes and then he grabs her hand to drag her to the living room.

She almost loses her balance when the speed demon that's dragging her around cuts the corner to close, “Slow down bug, momma is getting old.”

He rolls his eyes as they plop down on the ottoman across from the sofa.

“Auntie took me to a soccer game!!!! And look!” He unzips his sweater to reveal a National City Marinettes jersey and points to the ball near the TV. Lena cheeses so hard that her son had a good day, “Sammy got me a jersey and a soccer ball!! Mommy, can I play soccer?” Her big smile drops into a nervous grin at the question.

_Fuck. An athlete?? Soccer? A contact sport, for my child? In this economy? At least he has since moved on from the fencing debacle of 2020._

Lena cringes at the reminder of the time she walked into her home office only to see her 5 year old son wielding her olympic grade épée, his head drowning in her helmet. Thankfully, no Colins were harmed in the making of this year long obsession with sharp objects. A small giggle escapes her while thinking of the often heard exclamation throughout the last year, “En Garde momma!” which was usually followed by a swift poke to her abdomen with his then foam sabre. She could almost hear Ed Korfanty chastising her for letting her guard down and allowing such vulnerability.

She focuses back on her son, looking into his big green eyes she crumbles, “Of course Bug, we can look at when little kickers seasons start, yeah?”

A voice floats from the kitchen, “Next month, boss” Lena looks over her shoulder at a grinning Sam leant on the wall. “He has been relentless.”

“Well, well. I guess someone should print off the forms so I can sign them?” She raises a brow at her son.

“YESSSSS!” Colin jumps into her lap and lands a loud kiss on her forehead. Lena chuckles and tickles his belly as he squeals. He pulls back and holds her face between his little hands, “you’re the best momma a boy could ask for” and then more seriously with a raised brow, “But I still haven’t forgotten about your promise to teach me how to fence either.” Green stares into unblinking green.

_Well fuck. Curse our genes’ pension for hyperthymesic memory. And who taught him this bait and switch act what with the compliments and then the dropping of irrefutable facts and demands? Sam. At least he holds me accountable?_

Sam laughs boisterously, “Good job kid, your transition could use some work though. It’s lacking smoothness. Don’t worry though I will make little business man out of you yet.”

Lena sends Sam a quick glare as to say _Don’t encourage him,_ and sighs, “Hmm yes bug, mommy hasn’t forgotten, and she surely won’t for a long time. Maybe an activity for when you grow a bit bigger, no?” She’s begging he sees the rationality of her argument.

He pensively stares back. “I would be amenable to that. But also I would just like to enter a new testimonial in to the evidences, that I am in fact a strong boy. My new friend from this mornin’ said I am strong like Popeye.” He flexes his skinny arms to double down on his statements and Lena is in awe of his ever-growing vocabulary.

_I really need to cut back on watching Law and Order around him._

_“_ Surely this new evidence will be taken into consideration, Sir”

“I thank you for your cooperation.” Lena rolls her eyes and laughs at his antics.

“You’re an old soul, Bug. Never change.”

“Thats Bug, Esquire, Attorney at Law to you mommy.” He asserts.

Lena and Sam cackle, “Oh my gravest apologies. Why don’t you head outside and kick the ball around while Auntie and I visit?”

At the suggestion, Colin nods and races out the door with his new ball.

“Stay away from the pools edge, darling!” She hears a screamed “okay” as he makes a hard left to head in a different direction.

Lena moves to the couch and pats the seat next to her while staring at Sam, “Come on, I won’t bite. I’m no longer mad at you.”

Sam hesitantly takes a seat and hands Lena a glass of wine, “Sorry if I don’t believe you just yet.' Lena watches as The CFO eyes Lena’s free hand. Lena moves it to grasp Sam’s thigh and squeezes harshly but then rubs gently to soothe her. Sam breath hitches quietly.

Lena scoffs, “An astute observation, Samantha.” Then rolls her eyes and sips on her wine. After a moment of letting Sam believe she is actually angry she softly reassures the taller woman, “Darling, I’m really not all that mad anymore, alright?. I may want to smack you on the back of your head for springing it on me but all in all it turned out alright. the journalist was respectful and we had a good conversation. The interview should be in the next Catco issue to hit the stands, right before we unveil the new line. It should reach a broad audience.” Begrudgingly Lena admits, “you might of had a good idea.”

Sam immediately eases her rigid posture and smiles, “ugh see! I knew you had it in you kid!” She leans over and pecks Lena’s temple, “I’m so proud of you. I know the press isn’t your thing, Lee.”

They end up chatting about the rest of their respective days, huddled up together on the couch. Sam shows Lena all the photos from Colin’s adventure. When Ruby comes home around 7, she brings with her a pizza and an exciting story about the A+ she got on her AP Bio exam. Lena heart fills with pride and it spills onto her features as she hugs her niece, “I’m so proud of you, darling! Shall we get you something to celebrate?” Ruby just rolls her eyes and snuggles deeper into her Aunt’s arms. Then quietly jokes, “I have had my eye on a Tesla for a while.” Knowing full well the rise it will get out of her mother. Lena bites her lips to keep from laughing.

“A Tesla, my ass, Ruby Arias” Sam cuts in aggressively shaking her head. She turns to Colin and covers his ears before loudly whispering, “I will eat shit before I give any money to Elon Musk” They all laugh and Lena whispers quietly in Ruby’s ear, “I’ll give you the spare keys to mine as long as the A’s keeping coming.”

“ah nonono! You’re not allowed to fraternize behind my back like that. Ruby you will drive your sensible Volvo and you will like it.”

Lena looks pointedly from Sam to Colin and back, “Oh how the turns have tabled, Samantha.” A wicked smile graces her face and loud arguments fill the air while Bug and Ruby just sit, eating their pizza and laughing at Lena being chased by a spatula wielding Sam.

Later, Lena is helping Colin settle into bed. She gives his freckled cheek a kiss and tells him, “Bug, tomorrow mommy has to work later than usual, so I won’t be home till long after dinnertime. Auntie Sam will be here to take over watching you from Miss Marie,. But I will be home before bedtime, sound good?”

Colin sleepily nods, “Yeah, I like hanging out with Miss Marie, I always beat her at chess.” He smugly smiles then adds, “but I promise I always say good game and shake her hand after, momma.” The end of his sentence is slurred and his eyes are dropping shut as he finishes speaking.

Lena smiles fondly, “A good sport and a good boy. I promise to make up the lost time all this weekend, no work for me at all. I love you, get some good sleeps, darling.” He nods, half listening. Lena shuts off the lights, closes the door and heads to bed.

_Another successful day in the books. Job well done, Kieran._

KARA

_Finally home._

Kara peels off her work clothes and puts on her comfiest pajamas. She settles on the couch with her copious amounts of take out and turns on a nature docuseries, hoping the sounds are able to fill the emptiness of her apartment. She opens her laptop and tucks into writing her first draft on L.K. Luthor and Good Vibrations. After the takeout is long gone and her Netflix screen is dark asking her, “Are you still watching?” She finally saves her progress and shuts her computer.

_Stop judging me Netflix, I was very much being productive._

With a sigh she stretches her limbs, hoping to shake out the numbness from staying put too long. She thinks of her schedule tomorrow and plans her outfit in her head as to save time.

_Oh wait, tomorrow is tomorrow. Game night. I need to cancel! That would’ve been awkward to have everyone show up during my session with Lena._

Kara pulls out her phone and quickly shoots the group chat a message. She decides to not give an explanation, I mean what would she really say? “Hey y’all We have to cancel Catan because I am trying to get this pussy to act right.” Kara shakes her head.

As the woosh sound signals that the message is sent, she takes a breath to relax and thanks Rao that she’s only been pulled away as Supergirl a handful of times this afternoon.

A phone call brings her back to the present and she looks down to see Alex’s face.

She hits accept, “Hey Al, how goes it?”

“Kara? Why are we canceling game night?? We haven’t missed one is ages? Not since the great Solar flare of 2019” The concern flitting through the phone and reaching Kara’s ears.

“Woah woah, calm down. I just forgot that I made a session with my, um, new doctor?”

_I hope she catches my drift._

“New doctor?? I am your- “ a cough, “Oh, that doctor.” Nervous laughter makes Kara laugh as well.

“Mhm. I don’t think it would useful to have you lot round when I am baring my soul, no?”

Alex laughs, “Hmm I suppose that is correct.” She hears her take a breath, “Well that seems to be a completely valid excuse, do you need me to run interference in the group chat when people ask questions?”

Kara feels the gratitude slam into her, “Yes please, you’re the best big sister an alien could ask for.”

Alex laughs, “And don’t you forget it loser. I’ll let you go then. I miss sister time though, hang this weekend? We can go out to that new Dino exhibit you’ve been harping on!”

“Oh fuck yes, that sounds perfect. Love you Al.”

“Love you too weirdo.” And then the dial tone. Kara smiles and checks the group chat to see that Alex had already begun her aversion tactics whilst they were talking. Winn is the first to accept the made up excuse and sends back a meme of Kara’s smiling face photoshopped over a little girl’s, who is standing in front of a house on fire.Attached is a text that reads, “Kara woke up today and chose chaos. I guess its mercy though,you all get to avoid the proverbial ass beating that is me winning Catan for another week… But next game night? Next game night you sorry losers better be ready.”

Kara laughs as she sees Nia respond with a own meme of her own face plastered atop Taylor Swift’s body, holding up a middle finger shaped NME award. Everyone chimes in with a matching middle finger emojis and then Kara sends a succinct, “Its on like donkey kong, Winslow.” 

Kara moves to her bed and snuggles deep into the covers. She takes note that Mon-el didn’t bother to reply but quickly brushes it off, he can be immature all he wants. Once she’s settled she takes a deep breath and prays to Rao that she is ready for the aforementioned soul-bearing that will take place tomorrow night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REUPLOADED, I realized I forgot a big portion of the text in the first upload, my bad! Lex makes an appearance followed by a swift exit. Lena dissects Kara's trauma in prep for further sessions. TW for mentions of self harm and some violence from Mon-El.

KARA

The blare of an incoming call wakes her up and immediately Kara knows that today is gonna totally blow. She sends a quick text to James asking him to cover for her. Supergirl has been called into the DEO.

She superspeeds into her suit and flies over to meet J’onn and Alex for a briefing. As she enters the nest of DEO agents who are scrambling chaotically, she offers a wave to Winn at his station. He grimly smiles and waves back before turning his attention back to the screen, typing away furiously.

“Supergirl, Lex Luthor has escaped early this morning. Around 3am we got a call from the maximum security penitentiary he was being held at. He made off east bound towards the desert.” J’onn speaks first with scowl.

_OH shit. Oh no. I need to call Lena._

“Give me the details, there is no time to waste.”

Alex motions to the screens that surround them as Winn throws up graphics and coordinates to where Lex may possibly be. “We have a good idea that this is where he is holed up. The bastard may be evil but he sure isn’t as smart as he thinks. The guards put a tracking device in his meal the first couple weeks he was imprisoned.” Kara’s looks to her in confusion and Alex continues, “Illegal? Yes. Instrumental at this time? Also yes. The COs involved have already been slapped on the wrists. But as you said there is no time to waste and we need to use every resource available.”

Kara asks cautiously, but already knowing the answer, “What do we think his plan is?”

Winn pulls up a couple pictures, one being Lena, and begins speaking, “Lex has made it clear that his first act of vengeance will be directed at his family, who he believes to have betrayed him.” Kara swallows roughly. She feels anger rush through her veins and fights to keep her composure. And then a hand written page that looks to be torn from a notebook fills the screens. In it, Lex details heinous acts that he wishes to inflict of his family for their “sins” as well as the supers and eventually the entire world. Kara shudders at the thought of this vile man walking around freely.

_I need to get Lena to safety._

Before she can abandon the responsibilities at hand to fly out to the woman, Kara is directed by J’onn that an explosion has just been reported at the safe house Lex is supposedly at. The team springs into action and agents flood out the door to their respective modes of transportation. Kara arrives first. The crew should be following relatively quickly, they needn’t travel far. Maybe Lex truly believes that hiding in plain sight is his best option. Or maybe he is an over confident narcissist. Kara is inclined to believe the latter. Touching down in the inland desert, it’s eerily quiet.

_That’s never a good sign. He’s definitely here though._

She eyes the abandoned prison issued cruiser.

_Fucking idiot. Probably removed that tracker, too bad so sad for him that his luck ended there._

Smoke wafts above the home, and Kara can smell the faint remnants of chemicals, the acrid odorcauses her nose to wrinkle in disgust.

_Is that gunpowder? Ah fuck he’s making bombs isn’t he._

Kara grimaces as she sends word through her comms to let Alex know of the dangers that lie ahead.

“Supergirl, do not, I repeat do not go in without back up, the stealth chopper is only 2 minutes out. Copy?”

Kara scoffs and replies with authority, “With all due respect, we can’t afford to lose him if he’s injured, he deserves to pay for his crimes and rot in a cell. I’m going in.”

A sigh is heard and then a quiet, “10-4, please be careful. Remain vigilant. We will maintain radio silence unless you make contact. Over”

Kara begins walking towards the house. She uses her X-ray vision only to see that the house is lead lined.

_Of course. How long has he been planning this? Who is his outside man?_

Kara opens the singed door and makes entry. She quietly takes in the surroundings as she walks through the destroyed house. She comes to a stop in front of what she assumes to be a safe room, being that it is one of the only parts of the one story bungalow that isn’t charred. She tries the handle and curses when it turns out locked. Listening carefully, Kara hears rustling on the other side paired with what she assumes is the chatter of an insane man.

_Seems he got to safety before the blast._

“Too much, too much, too much. That’s alright, we can always find more to create another one.” It appears that he is having a conversation with himself. Kara uses her strength to leverage the door up and then out to break the solid piece of lead off its hinges. Inside she sees Lex Luthor, sitting on the ground surrounded by a plethora paper muttering to himself. He hasn’t even ditched his prison threads. His face is sunken in, aged and his body is malnourished. He looks like a shell of a man. In his obsessive mania he hasn’t noticed the Super. A wave of nausea takes over Kara’s body.

_Kryptonite._

Kara sees a pile of the revolting green in the corner of the room next to was seems to be an unfinished DIY pipe bomb.

_How resourceful of him, I wonder if he even looked the tutorials up on YouTube._

Quietly and with ragged breaths, Kara breaks her radio silence, “Contact made with hostile. Kryptonite is in attendance as well.”

“Shit” Alex responds, “We are 30 seconds out SG, hold tight.”

At the noise, Lex looks up. He smiles wickedly. Kara postures and throws her hands on her hips. “Ah, I was hoping it would be the other one, but you will do.” And then he giggles, “Well actually I was hoping to take care of sister dearest first, that brat snitched like she always does. But alas, beggars cannot be choosers and all sinners must be condemned.” Kara can hear the muted sound of a chopper landing behind her as Lex makes his case.

He moves to stand and Kara is on him in an instant. Her veins glow green and she knows she is losing steam. She feels the effects of the kryptonite racing through her, it feels like hot lava incinerating her from the inside out, parts of her skin begin to blister. He tsks “ah ah ah” Her reaction timebeing slowed, Kara feels the kryptonite shard before she sees it. Her abdomen feels on fire as the glowing rock, the bane of her existence, slowly enters her stomach, in through the pocket of her hip, downwards. She screams loudly.

“You sick fuck” Kara hears over her shoulder. She is losing consciousness though, in a last ditch effort she musters the rest of her strength to swing. With a sickening crack both Lex and Kara fall to the floor. Kara’s world fades to black as she sees Alex rush into view.

_Man, it’s only fucking 7 am. This fucking blows._

Kara comes to later on. Faint beeping enters her ears and she opens her eyes. She squints into the bright lights of the sun lamps that illuminate the room.

_Need to check on Lena._

She goes to move and a hand reaches into her view and pokes at her chest. Her body winces at the action.

“Don’t even think about it.” Kara pouts and looks over at Alex.

Alex sighs, “I’m glad you’re okay, please don’t ever do that to me again.” She hugs Kara gently.

Kara smiles lightly and jokes, “I promise I won’t. Not until the next time”

Alex finds no humor though, “Not funny, Kara. I have half a mind to call mom so she can ground your ass.”

Kara scoffs, “I am a grown woman, Alex. I’d like to see Eliza try.”

Alex raises a brow and reaches for her phone.

Quickly Kara walks back on her statement, “No no no I didn’t mean it. I am sorry, I am just sore and grumpy. What happened? Is Lex back in prison yet?”

“Thats what I thought.” Alex chuckles. “Yes he’s been moved to DEO dark site facility. He won’t see the light of day in this life. We were able to keep it under wraps. The public has no idea about the situation.” She grimaces.

_Lena. She’s is safe._

Kara sighs in relief and her body lets go of the tension. “What time is it?”

“Around 3pm, you’ve been out most of the day. You’ve solar flared but you should be okay to head home. Your wound is healing quick enough but It might be a couple days before your powers return.” And then shakily, “Luckily he missed some very important organs with that kryptonite. We are all very lucky that you are okay”

“Thank you Al, for always saving me. I love you”

“I love you too. Now I’m going to send you home. Winn and Nia have volunteered to escort you there” Kara rolls her eyes, “You are ordered to rest, don’t over exert yourself please?”

“I still have my appointment, I won’t be dropping that, Alex.”

_I need to see her._

“I thought you might say that.” Alex purses her lips, Kara can tell she's uncomfortable. “Listen I don’t wanna have to say this, but no sexua-“

“EW STOP,” Kara shakes violently and gags, “This is just another session where we talk. Please just stop.”

Alex sighs in relief, “oh thank god. Um, I’m just gonna go grab the wonder kids. Pretend this never happened?” Alex gestures between the two with a sweeping motion. Kara nods solemnly and makes a crossing motion over her heart.

After a quick stop for ice cream and and Chinese food, Winn and Nia walk Kara up to her door and makes sure she’s settled. He gives her a crushing hug, in which she wheezes out “It’s okay buddy, thank you for your help.” He nods and Nia adds, “I’m glad you’re okay Kar. Call us if you need anything.” Nia kisses the top of her head over the back of the couch before they leave.

Kara lets out a breath and stares up at her ceiling. Her body aches and she wonders how people deal with injuries everyday.

_Reminder to self, just wait for back up next time. HA yeah right Zor-El, I’d love to see you try and stop yourself._

She turns her head to eye the takeout in front of her. With a grunt she leans forward and digs in. She turns on her favorite movie and attempts to relax.

_Mon-el hasn’t come by or said anything. Figures._

The realization startles her and she moves to check her phone just in case she had missed him actually making an effort.

_Nope, nothing._

She sees that it's 4pm now and decides to just turn her mind off while she still can.

DUAL POV (lena centric tho because I am a forgetful bitch and totally forgot to use Kara's POV as much as I should have)

Lena makes her way into the unfamiliar building and up the flights of stairs. When she reaches Kara’s door, she takes a moment to breathe and calm herself.

_It’s just like any other session. Except for the fact that I wanna lick her bo- okay okay maybe it’s not. But you got this Kieran._

She knocks softly and waits. 30 seconds pass and she checks her watch to make sure she isn’t early.

_No, not early._

Her eyebrows furrow and she poises her hand to knock once more when the door swings open revealing a casually dressed, out of breath kryptonian sans her glasses and trademark ponytail.

Lena’s breath leaves her in a rush.

_Wow. Her eyes are incredible._

“Lena! Sorry I was in my bedroom getting dressed. I hope it’s alright that I am dressed down.” Kara looks at her nervously and gestures to herself.

Lena’s eyes roam appreciatively over Kara’s exposed shoulders and arms that the muscle tank affords her. And then down to the skin tight leggings.

_Definitely okay._

Lena clears her throat and smiles, “Of course honey, I need to you to be comfortable any way.” Kara winces, reminded of Mr Avalon again but then blushes and ushers her inside. Lena removes her coat and Kara takes it to hang up. Lena takes this time to let her eyes wander.

_Her loft is so homey._

She looks around at the beautiful paintings that fill the wall and the books that fill the numerous bookshelves. She walks over to one shelf and notices the abundance of framed pictures. Some are of Kara with who she assumes is her friends laughing and smiling, surely inebriated by the looks of their glazed over eyes. Some with 2 women that must be her sister and mother, Kara’s joy is apparent. She sees a lone picture with who she guesses is Mike, her nose wrinkles slightly. He is standing behind her, his arms wrapped possessively around her waist, they’re both looking at the camera, yet Kara’s smile doesn’t reach her eyes, not like the other photos. He is objectively handsome, she guesses.

_Interesting._

She moves on and her eyes track each one until they stop at a picture of a young Kara next to none other than a young adult Clark Kent. She quietly gasps. Kara must have been silently following her, because she nexts hears a small whisper from just behind her,

“ahem, yeah that is clark, he is.. my cousin.” The statement alone feels heavy with double meaning. Lena turns to look at Kara, thinking about Clark and Lex’s sordid past, “Ah. Well that answers a lot of questions then.” She smiles lightly to break the tension and Kara smiles back nervously worrying her lip.

Kara gestures for her to follow, and they move together to take a seat on a well worn couch. On the way over Lena notices that Kara’s gait is different, like she is favoring one side of her body, and as she sits she winces a bit.

“Is this alright? We can move to the dining table if not.”

“No this will do, are you okay though? It looked like you were limping a bit?” Lena tilts her head.

“oh um yes, just a small injury from a Supergirl thing earlier today.” Lena’s brows pull together in confusion and before she can ask, Kara cuts in, “The person, ahem, I was meant to apprehend had kryptonite and I have solar flared. I am powerless for the next couple days. Just as ordinary as anybody.”

Lena is shocked, and to be honest quite worried about the idea of Kara being this vulnerable, “Oh. I didn’t know that was possible.”

Kara laughs, “Usually not, but sometimes it can’t be avoided.” She moves to adjust and winces once more.

“Kara, we can resch-“

“No! No it’s alright, just a flesh wound.” She smiles through her lie.

“Do you need me to take a look? I may not have finished med school because I switched to psychology and found it unnecessary, but I was there long enough to pick up some tips and tricks.” Lena offers.

_Oh boy have I overstepped?_

Kara looks shocked, but not offended by any means, “Oh um you really don’t have to, Alex, my sister, is a Doctor. She actually will be coming over later to do a check.” Kara laughs.

“Alright well I am glad she is, I wouldn’t want you to be suffering in pain.”

Kara thanks her and they both take a breath, “Would you like some water, doc? Sorry I am being a terrible host.”

Kara begins to stand and Lena reaches forward to stop her, “Allow me? I don’t want you to over exert yourself.”

Kara giggles, “Alex said the same thing. Great minds, hey?”

Lena smiles, “Have you ever heard the full proverb?”

Kara shakes her head so Lena continues, “Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ.”

Kara inhales, “Huh sort of a double edged sword then.”

Lena laughs, “Where are your glasses at?”

“Oh I actually don’t need them when I solar flare, they are mainly just part of me disgu- oh you meant cups.” Kara laughs, “Actually, I think there are some bottles in the fridge! Here let me-“

“Kara sit down, I mean it young lady.” And then adds, “Also glasses? Really? How has nobody figured you out yet.”

She blushes and nods. “Hey it worked on you didn’t it? And well the only person who has called the bluff is Cat Grant, but I don’t think that should count against me. The queen of media seems to know everything about everyone.” Lena nods absentmindedly as she’s gets up to walk,“And also HEY. That’s kind of not true! If you walked passed Tony Hawk on the street and he wasn’t carrying a skateboard, I bet you wouldn’t recognize him!”

“Kara, I hate to break this to you, but I wouldn’t recognize Tony Hawk in any situation.”

Kara laughs and lets her gaze follow Lena to the fridge where she throws the door open and bends down,

_Oh rao_

She averts her eyes back forwards and tries to calm her thoughts before they get explicit.

_Get it together. No daydreaming about your her ass. No matter how perf-_

A bottle of water is dangled in front of her face. Kara grabs it and takes sip, “Thank you.”

Once Lena has settled, she takes her notebook out of the bag that sits at her feet as well as a pen. She angles herself towards Kara and begins, “So have things been alright since our interview, you mentioned you were having a rough go of it?”

“Oh um yes, Mike and I haven’t really spoken, but aside from that and this morning’s mess, I’ve been feeling on the up and up.” Kara looks kind of nervous.

“Is there a reason for the distance between you and Mike?” Lena tilts her head inquisitively.

Kara looks embarrassed and her shoulders drop, “Um, well it’s hard to say. Historically we can go days without talking and seeing each other, that’s just our dynamic. But I think this last bout is more of my fault. The day of our last session, I came home after a long day expecting to just decompress but he was already in my apartment, so I kind of um-“

_Seems like Mike doesn’t respect boundaries or personal space._

Lena can see the discomfort on Kara’s face and nods reassuringly, “Well I sort of used him as a form of reprimand for my behavior that day. I knew I wasn’t in a good place to, but I propositioned him and he agreed enthusiastically. But it was honestly horrible. I felt bad the entire time. Not just because it was unenjoyable, but because I knew I was doing it for the wrongs reasons. So um, when he finished, I asked him to leave. And uh, I haven’t heard from him since. I think he realized what I was doing, or maybe I’m giving him to much credit, he’s sort of an airhead.”

Kara lets a shaky breath go and wishes the earth would open up and swallow her whole.

“Why did you feel the need to punish yourself?”

“Uh, I can’t really explain that. I’m not sure I even understand. I um have a history of doing things to punish myself. Old habits die hard maybe.”

Lena’s heart aches and wonders how far Kara has gone to scold herself.

“Sometimes I just feel an overwhelming amount of anger and shame towards myself and it seeps out of me and affects my actions.” Kara breathes and her brows furrow, “Never purposefully towards anyone else just towards myself, well until that night I guess. I feel very guilty about the whole occurrence.”

“I can see why you would feel guilty. That doesn’t seem like a healthy coping mechanism. What could you have done differently?”

“oh. Uh, ask him to leave right away I guess. Maybe head to the junk yard, they usually have some old beaters that they let Supergirl use as punching bags.” Kara flexes her hands and her knuckles whiten thinking about all the things she should’ve done differently that day.

“Now I bet that’s a sight to behold” Lena laughs, “That is a good ulterior option for the future though, is your strength your go to when wanting to blow of steam?”

“Yeah I would say so.” And that after a moment, “I used to paint” She points to the walls. Lena follows her gesture and inhales.

_Oh these are all hers? wow._

_“_ You’re incredibly talented, Kara. Seems like your hands may be good for more than just punching things, no?” Kara blushes at the unintended innuendo. “You say you used to, why did you stop if it worked?”

Kara thinks for a moment and then offers up, “I guess after I came out as Supergirl I had less time, and energy to. There is always somewhere else my attention is needed. Maybe I should start again though.”

Lena nods, “I think that would be wise. It’s always good to have multiple tools to help ourselves heal. And it is important to direct our attention inward often, you deserve to be looked after as well. Not just the citizens of National City.”

“Hmm, maybe so. It’s a part of me though. Feels ingrained. For as long as I can remember my purpose has been to protect. I think I have an issue with pleasing people too. I don’t know how to say no or how to set boundaries. I have all these abilities and I feel selfish if I take time for myself.”

_Thats insightful. She seems to know where her issues lie, but maybe she doesn’t understand how to amend them._

“That’s something we can work on as well.” Lena takes a moment to write some things down. “Why don’t you tell me about your life before and then subsequently your life after coming to Earth?”

_Here goes nothing I guess._

“I um, I find it really hard to speak on, so I apologize if I rush it all out at once.” Lena seems to understand so she continues, “Well I was 13 when Krypton exploded. My mother was a judicator and father, a scientist. I was charted to be the youngest inducted into the Science Guild in the entire history of Krypton. It would have brought great honor to the House of El. The House of El is, or I guess was prestigious, something akin to Earth’s idea of royalty, and I was slated to become the head of it, and join the High Council at such a young age. Before I could accomplish anything, crisis had struck. Well I guess it wasn’t all that surprising to some, but to most of us, we were shocked and fearful. I recently found out that my parents’ knew about our planet’s impending doom, and did nothing. It broke my heart to know that they weren’t the heroes I had painted them out to be. It brought up a lot of repressed memories, chiefly the time my mother used me to lure my aunt into our home, only to arrest and banish her to Fort Rozz. When the day Krypton’s ecosystem began to fall, my parents were the ones to put me in the pod. They told me that I was needed. That my purpose would now shift from the Science Guild to the caretaking of young Kal-el, then only an infant. Looking back now I can see how I was used as an instrument from a young age, and I often wonder if I’ll ever stop feeling like that. I remember crying that day and begging for them to join me.” Kara exhales shakily and bites her bottom lip, “They didn’t. So I did as I was told and upon entering the stratosphere I saw my planet implode right before my eyes, taking my parents, my home, my community, and all that was left was me and Kal. Kal-El calls me the true Last Daughter of Krypton but I don’t know how I can be the last daughter of something that doesn’t even exist anymore” Lena sits quietly, processing the information.

_She was so young. They asked too much of her. No wonder that to this day she seeks validation, and wishes to please everyone. She has the weight of a dead world and a living one resting her shoulders, Jesus._

“The journey was traumatic to say the least. Being stuck in an aircraft for 24 years is, well it’s not my idea of a good time” She sadly smiles. “I spent all of it in darkness. Staring into the cold loneliness of the phantom zone. I would sleep periodically, but when I slept so much that I couldn’t sleep anymore I would think of my parents, Alura and Zor-el. I would think about my imprisoned aunt and uncle, Astra and Non. Um I would think about my friends, I would list everyone’s names that I could remember, over and over. I think it was comforting at the time, to list the names of those who were lost, to keep their memory alive. And that worked for a while, until I realized that I should probably be adding my own name. I would pray to Rao that Kal-El was safe, and not stuck like I was. I would eventually pray that Rao take me away, to end my suffering. It was a dark time. When I did finally crash land, I emerged a different person, still Kara Zor-el, but my body kept score. I may have looked 13 but I felt heavy with grief and I longed for my family.”Lena sees her eyes flash with pain.

Kara takes a sip of her water to rid her self of the raspiness in her voice. The cold water soothes her throat but doesn’t seem to mend anything else. “I remember the top of the pod being ripped open and bright light assaulting my eyes. It was so intense. Kal was there. But he was grown. I remember the look of astonishment on his face and then the panic that followed quickly after. I had began frantically speaking in kryptonese, I did learn English through the AI in my pod, but when I was thrust into Earth’s gravitational pull, I was also thrust back into old habits. He had never learned it. He, um, he had no idea how to communicate with me. He couldn’t so much as handle me. That bred a lot of resentment right off that bat for me and also shame. I was supposed to be there to teach him, to show him our ways, to help krypton live on through us. I felt like a failure from the get go. It was also infuriating to see him donning my house’s crest with out so much as understanding what it stood for. So when he dropped me with the Danvers, the only thing I spoke to him in English was a venomous, ‘It means Stronger Together.’ I remember the look of guilt he gave me as I physically pushed him away after pointing violently into his chest. I didn’t talk to him for some time after that. And he was to much of a coward at the time to try to bridge that gap.”

_Abandoned by her only living family. I knew that Clark Kent was a jack ass._

Lena grabs Kara’s hand and soothingly runs her thumb over the top to urge her on. “I, um, I-“ Kara stutters, distracted my Lena’s warm hand, but ultimately she feels cared for, “I had powers right away unlike Kal, and control was hard to come by. I was having bouts of PTSD, dreams that were just so real, so vivid. I still have them sometimes, but not as often. When they do occur though I wake up screaming just as loud as I did when I was 13. The control issue didn’t really help with that, it only made me more angry. It my fits I would thrash and unintentionally hurt whoever came it my aid, or burn holes into the ceiling. I just wanted to be hugged and hug someone back without the fear that I would injure them. I was just a kid. The Danvers were always reassuring me that I would get better at it and the dreams would fade, and that I would only be left with the good memories” She smiles fondly, “At least when me and Alex weren’t fighting, she was my rock. Always has been. And they were sort of right about the bad memories… Not so much that they fade away. No the grief stays, and I carry it around everyday. But they were right that it changes. It doesn’t get better, it just.. gets different. I learned to repress better, to distract better, to avoid. Although I think I was kidding myself, the pain just found new ways to flow out of me.”

Kara takes a breather and stares at the painting behind the television set. Her eyes glaze over and Lena wonders what it is about this painting that has her so lost. And then she notices it. The swirling reds and and oranges, the feeling of tragedy that the painting emotes. She’s broken out of her reverie by Kara talking again, “I’m actually stronger than Kal, that much became apparent once we started to mend our relationship. I was wiser, stronger, and more patient than him. He didn’t really have a pension for kids, so I suppose it was for the best that I was with the Danvers. Didn’t stop it from hurting though.” Kara exhales loudly, “The Danvers helped me acclimate, taught me Earth customs, how to control myself, how to blend in essentially. I learned early on that I needed to hide my intelligence, It would be too obvious that I am an alien if I started disproving Earth’s theories and teachings. I needed to become improper. Learn to jumble my words, use incorrect grammar, act clumsy, for the sake of my safety. I guess that led to me creating this Kara Danvers persona. I wouldn’t say she’s not me, because she is. But she’s also not if that makes sense. The moment I learned control I was filled with joy, but also I learned quickly how much more it hurt to lose it. How much more frustrated I would get with myself if I let something slip. That’s when I began punishing myself.”

_She needed to leave everything she knew behind.. and just assimilate to our culture for her own safety and at what cost? Losing herself completely?How smart is she?_

“Me and Kal are better now, he respects me as the Head of our House, but still often tries to coddle me, old habits dies hard for him too I guess.”

Lena is afraid to ask but does so anyway, “Kara, honey, what do you mean by punishments?”

Kara gulps. “Uh I self harmed, growing up. Every time I felt like I lost control. I felt like the pain was the one thing I would always be in control of.” Tears fall from Kara’s eyes and she colors with embarrassment. Lena squeezes her hand.

_Oh Kara._

_“_ Do you still partake in this?”

“I hadn’t for a long time. Um about 3 years I was clean. But to be honest I just recently relapsed.I um did that day, after I had Mike leave.” Kara’s face twisted in disgust, and she cries more heavily. Her back feels scorched.

“Hone-‘

“I’m sorry could you not call me that, it just, um, it makes me uncomfortable”

Immediately, “Oh of course Kara, I am sorry I didn’t mean to cause you distress.”

“It’s not the idea of it, it’s just I heard you call, um, Mr Avalon that. And hearing it makes reminds me of what I did.”

“Oh” Realization dawns on Lena’s face. “Okay, okay. That’s completely understandable. I can change it up okay?”

Kara sniffles, “thank you.”

Lena nods and smiles, “Darling,” she pauses, hoping to see if Kara looks more comfortable with her new choice, “can you please tell me if I need to worry about you hurting yourself again?”

_Darling? I like that._

_Oh for fucks sake Kieran, DARLING? That is reserved for family._ Lena fidgets her hands at her slip up, and then she realizes that maybe her slip up is more telling of her feelings that she originally thought. _Oh fuck._

Kara clears her tears with both hands and sighs, “I won’t do it again. I feel so much shame that I relapsed already. I refuse to let myself. I wish I could just stop having these feelings, they all feel so stupid, so unnecessary, I feel dramatic.”

“Okay, I’m glad you aren’t thinking of continuing, but Kara, please stop being so hard on yourself. You’re only one person. Your feelings are valid simply because you feel them. Your actions may not be justifiable, but your feelings are common. The circumstances in which bred these feelings? Definitely unique, but the feelings are definitely on par with most people. Okay, darling?” Kara nods. “Please let me know immediately if these urges return? I need to know for your safety.”

“I promise.”

“Good girl.” After a moment, “Let’s talk about your struggle with power. I know you have a fixation for keeping it, can you tell me why? Does the constant reminder of your ability weigh heavy on you?”

“It’s always in the back of my mind, directing my actions, like a little voice reminding me of my ability. I am constantly regulating myself. It can be overwhelming especially since I am a tactile person, at least in platonic sense. I am continually watching myself, when I go to shake someone hand, give a hug, set something down, hold something- it’s necessary for me to be self aware. I just don’t want to hurt anyone, my stomach turns at the thought. It’s gotten worse the last couple years, even though the instances of me losing control have been few and far between.”

“Why do you think it’s gotten worse?”

Kara swallows, “Uh there was an incident a while back where I was effected by red kryptonite. It differs from green kryptonite in that it doesn’t hurt me, but it gets rid of my inhibitions and brings the darkest parts of my psyche to the light.” Kara shudders. “When I was under the influence I felt like I was floating above myself watching me act out every horrible thought I ever had, I felt so disgusted with myself. I threw Cat Grant over her balcony. I broke my sister’s arm. I said and did terrible, terrible things that day. I’ve never really let go of that guilt, despite everyone rallying around me telling me that it was not my fault, that I wasn’t working under my own volition. I have never forgiven my actions though and no longer allow room for such mistakes. Ever since then I’ve felt the need to be hyper-vigilant of myself.” Lena’s eyes widen slightly and her heart drops at the thought of Kara feeling so out of control.

_It must have been terrifying for her._

“How do you think it would feel to give up that control?”

Kara ponders the question, “Scary, like it sounds like my worst nightmare, literally. But I also assume I would feel relieved to some degree. I don’t think there is a safe way for me to do that though, not unless I could relinquish my powers. We have a red sun room at the government facility Supergirl works for, but it’s hard for me to relax there, with it being my work environment primarily.”

_Okay its decided this woman needs her own red sun emulator, why hasn’t her agency afforded her one._

Kara clears her throat, “So what’s the prognosis so far, doc?”

“Well, I think that I was right that first morning. You are unimaginably strong. You’ve gone through more than someone should in one lifetime. I think part of the solution going forwards for you will be for us to work on both giving up control,” Kara tenses at the idea, “and to work on gaining it back, safely. We’ll explore different forms of power exchange, albeit sexual, but I think you could benefit holistically from it. I will look into creating a red sun emulator to make you more comfortable with the idea. We also need to work on a healthy dose of boundary setting and self care.”

“You think all this will help me get off?” Kara looks up confused.

“Yes, yes I do. And to be fair, when I say we can work on things like that we will be using “getting off”, as you so eloquently put it, as a tool to achieve those goals. I also think that if we work together, there isn’t much you couldn’t overcome. Stronger Together right, Kara Zor-El?” Lena lifts a brow.

Kara’s body flushes, “Yes ma’am.” She smiles and breathes a sigh of relief, falling back into the couch to relax after the rigid posture she’s held for the last 30 minutes. She once again winces heavily.

_Man my fucking side hurts._

Kara tries to cover it with a laugh, “So what’s next on the docket? Do we talk about the time I broke a dude’s nose when he tried to kiss me, or what?”

Lena laughs lightly, “While maybe entertaining, and we will circle back to that sometime, I think I should check your injury, darling. That was the 6th time I’ve clocked you wincing in pain in the last half hour.”

_6 times? Was I really that distracted?!_

Kara sighs but nods, “Okay but be warned, there isn’t much to be done, I will just need to lay in the sun all day tomorrow. Recharge. I’m essentially a solar panel”

 _Sexiest solar panel I ever seen. Well green renewable energy is pretty sexy to begin with if I’m being fair._

Lena hums and moves her notebook and pen to the coffee table. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Kara struggle to a stand and then begins lifting her shirt off. She gasps and her cheeks color. She finds herself glad that the hero is without her powers, she would be awfully embarrassed if Kara could track her reactions tonight.

_Oh god, oh fuck, I wasn’t prepared FOR THIS!_

Lena turns and musters all the professionalism she has, but comes up short. She gasps once again, this one loudly.

“fuck”

Kara looks down at her curiously, Lane blushes and clears her throat, thinking quick she covers for herself as her eyes meet the wound Kara has just finished revealing. Her eyes widen, “I mean ouch Kara, fuck, that surely is worse than a mere flesh wound!” She looks up at Kara disapprovingly. Her eyes traverse back down over the incredibly toned abdominal muscles to the angry red line the starts at the top of her hip and disappears downwards below the edge of her leggings.

_Ah yes, the “flesh” wound. What a joke. This thing is fucking huge. Also holy shit I want touch._

Lena slowly runs her hand over the mark, causing Kara to hiss out, “Sorry. Still tender. I’m essentially a big baby when I solar flare.”

“I would fucking think so, what the fuck! You literally said and I quote “small injury?!”

“To be fair it is small compared to before. I mean I was impaled.” Kara laughs. She fucking LAUGHS.

Lena scoffs and swats her muscular thigh. “Go get some AD ointment this instant. You do have some, correct?”

Kara nods and heads towards the partitioned-off section of her home and Lena takes a moment to breathe. As she leaves Lena tracks her movements.

_Holy fuck fuck fuck. What in the greek goddess’ name is this fuckery?_

When Kara returns she hands Lena the cream and a small box. Lena’s eyebrows furrow as she opens the box. She gasps and shuts it immediately.

“Kara what the fuck?”

“Um yeah. I just need it out the house.. It enables the harming and what not.” Lena breathes and nods bewildered. “You can just throw it in the ocean or keep it I don’t really care. But I need it gone.”

Lena is touched by Kara’s honesty and willingness to trust a Luthor, “I’ll dispose of it right away. I’m proud of you for taking this step, darling.” She shoves it deep into her bag and gestures for Kara to sit and recline back. Kara does so and rests her head so she’s looking up. Feeling a million times lighter, Kara smiles.

_Fuck she’s gonna touch me, oh fuck. It’s like a reward for the soul crushing admissions. Rao I am fucking gay, aren’t I? Oh fuck I really need to talk to Alex. Maybe I should bring it up with Lena? She doesn’t need to know that she was my sexual awakening though.. that would make things quite awkward._

“Okay let me put this on? Then you can re dress the wound and we can move forward.” Lena squeezes some ointment onto her fingers and goes to spread it over the angry line donning Kara’s stomach when she freezes. Fingers a breath width away.

_What the fuck Lena, you know she can do this herself.. There is no plausible reason for this._

Lenas eyes leave the wound and slide up Kara’s stomach, lingers on her sports bra clad breasts, and then zeros in on the corded muscles of her neck. She shakes her head.

_Fuck it._

Lena moves her hand the last couple inches and makes contact with warm soft skin. Kara shudders but relaxes quickly. Lena moves her fingers slowly and in a circular motion, applying light pressure to rub the ointment in. Kara lets out a breathy moan in relief. “That feels good, the cooling agent is really helping with the tenderness” Lena’s cheeks color.

_Fuck. I need to hear her moan again._

_“_ I’m glad darling.” She continues dutifully, and if she drags it out longer than necessary, no one will be able to prove it. As she's about done, Kara loudly moans again and at that exact moment her front door swings open.

Frantically, “Kara!? Alex told me what happened this morning, I’m so sorry my phone has been brok-“ Mike stops short and stares at the scene in front of him.

_Oh shit._

_“_ What the fuck is going on here?”

Kara stands up quickly and lets out a pained groan before doubling over.

“Kara!”

“Kara!”

Lena and Mike both simultaneously reach for her, Lena beats him to it. She helps Kara stand and quickly asks if she’s okay, Kara nods in confirmation but a grimace is firmly planted on her face. Lena helps her redress before she rights herself and they both look to Mike.

“Kara, who the fuck is this. Were you two fucking?!”

“Mon, please stop. We weren’t I promise. This is-“

“Don’t lie to me, I heard you moaning! I saw her hands on you! You’ve never sounded like that for me!”

Lena fills with pride secretly until she hears another pained sob.

Mon-el reaches for Kara and yanks her towards him. Kara flies forwards as she cries out.

“What the fuck Mon! You know I’ve solar flared.” She’s crying now, face crumpled in agony. Lena sees Mike’s face immediately fill with regret and worry, “I’m so sorry baby, I completely forgot, shit. shit. Let me see”

He lifts Kara’s arm and Lena gasps at the already forming bruises.

Through tears, “I think you should go, Mon-el. Now isn’t the time. I can’t handle this right now.” Kara wiggles out of his hold and steps back, cradling her arm.

“Kara, baby. I am sorry. I was just coming over to check on you because I heard what happened this morning with Lex Lu-“

Lena jumps at the name and her breath escapes her. Kara tenses her shoulders and squares up to Mon-el, as she cuts him off, “You have no right to be here. You haven’t talked to me in days mon-el, DAYS. I know I pissed you off but that is so fucking childish.” She rubs her eyes. “You need to go. I need you gone, I can’t do this anymore. I-I think we just need to stop this charade. It’s not working anymore, it’s over Mon.” Mike looks ready to argue, his eyes narrow.

“What the fuck do you mean?! I have nobody else! Did you forget that? Always playing the victim! MY PLANET IS DESTROYED TOO. ALL THANKS TO YOUR FUCKING FAMILY. The least you could fucking do is TRY to work things out with me.” Kara’s face twists in guilt. He goes to grab Kara, this time with much more malice.But Lena breaks out of her shock in time and steps in between them. Lena coldly seethes out, “I think the lady made herself clear. It’s time to go.” He scoffs and angrily eyes Lena. “Go mon-el. Please.” At Kara’s pleading his features soften the slightest, “Fine, but this isn’t over Kara.” Once the door slams both women slowly exhale.

“He said-“

“Im so-“

Both women sit back down in shocked silence.

Kara is holding her aching arm, trying to rub the pain out.

“He said my brother’s name…”

“Uh yes. We had a run in with him this morning.” Kara picks nervously at her nails while she stares at the discoloration on her arm.

“He’s is prison though.”

“Um he is now, yes”

A gasp leaves Lena, “Oh my god, he did this to you”

“Hey it’s okay, Lee. Look I’m okay.” Kara gestures to herself. Lena smiles sadly at the nickname.

She sighs and shakes her head, “It’s not okay, Kara.”

Kara nods, understanding.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.. I have orders. I wanted to though… I was going to but I chickened out.”

Lena nods. _That’s understandable.. I mean she had orders. And what would she say? Hey Lena your psycho brother escaped this morning and impaled me, buts its coo._

“You say he’s back in prison now?”

“Somewhere more akin to a very deep whole in the ground.. But yes. I promise he is. You’re safe.”

A look passes over Lena’s face that Kara can’t decipher. But then she sighs with relief and Kara can visibly see the tension leave her body.

“I promise, Doc.”

_Her arm looks terrible._

Lena seems to remember herself and gets up with out a word. She decides that she will just need to deal with the turmoil of Lex’s behavior later. Right now, Kara needs her.

Kara’s eyes follow her till she reaches her fridge. She opens the freezer and then speedily returns back with a bag of frozen peas.

Lena grabs Kara’s arm gently and places the bag over the bruises, Kara hisses. “That was not okay. None of his behavior. I am proud of you for standing up for yourself, and telling him to leave.”

Kara sniffles and wipes her tears away with her free hand. “Thank you.” She looks away, “He’s never done that before.”

Lena brazenly asserts, “And he will never have the chance to do it again either. Understood?”

Kara nods and Lena moves to to embrace her, “I promise, Kara. I won’t allow it.”

Kara breaks and cries.

“It’s okay, darling. I’m so proud of you.” She rubs soothing circles on Kara back.

After a couple minutes of Lena consoling a very sad Kryptonian, Kara breaks away and wipes her eyes, “Thank you” Lena nods and smiles sweetly in response.

“I think that might be enough excitement for one day, yeah?” Lena jokes.

Kara stuffily laughs, “hmm I suppose.”

“Well let's finish this up early and we can part ways till next time. I just want to go over what to expect during our next session, alright?”

Kara nods.

“Alright, each appointment will still have reflective conversation like the one we had tonight. It’s important to do, so we can both be on the same page, we will need to talk about what’s working for you and any new problems that may arise, we will touch base on your progress, how you week has gone and so on.In addition, we will start introducing other aspects of a treatment plan. I’ll even type it up and print it out so you have a copy. The exercises will center around eye contact, communication, sensation focus, breathing, body mapping, power exchange and so forth. Most of these will work in tandem with masturbation so sometimes it will be over the clothes, and sometimes there will be semi or full nudity on your part, depending on your comfortability at that specific time. I will provide brand new sexual aids for you that will be used both during sessions and at home, so no need to break the bank at the local sex shop. When I say at home I am referring to the homework I will be assigning for you, for the lack of a better term, and we will speak about those experiences each time we meet as well. In later sessions we can explore your desires and fantasies/kinks, but first and foremost I just want to facilitate an environment where you feel comfortable to explore and practice self intimacy at its base level. Sound good?”

 _How very convenient of you to not mention any of your boundaries, smooth Kieran, smooth. I better get out of here before full on offer my own body up._ Lena inwardly rolled her eyes at herself.

Kara’s voice cracks and she blushes, “peachy keen, jellybean.” _Rao._

Lena laughs and rolls her eyes, “Alright pack it up, Rizzo.” Kara smiles in return.

Lena begins gathering up her belongings, once she has everything in hand she looks back to Kara on the couch, looking undeniably exhausted, “Okay Kara, get some rest. I’m headed off but I just want to tell you one last time that I’m proud of all you’ve accomplished tonight. Don’t let Mike’s behavior overshadow the fact that you stood your ground and set a boundary without me even prompting you. Keep the ice on your arm and please call Jess to set up our next appointment, alright?”

Kara ducks her head to hide her blush from Lena’ s compliment, then she turns to offer a wave and a smile, “Sure thing, Doc. Thank you, again”

“Bye, darling.”

With a smile Lena exits and shuts the door behind her.

She huffs out a breath and trudges down the steps hoping the ride home is quick, _Thank god tomorrow is Saturday._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this seemed so long winded but at the same time necessary? I don't know. The ending was rushed IMO but if a stare at it any longer I will never post. lmk what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up the day after their last session. Some things are revealed, and also we get to see Lena and Sam's dynamic in a different light.

LENA

After Lena made it home earlier than she intended last night, she ate the dinner Sam left for her and spent the rest of the night cuddled in her bed with Bug. He didn’t quite understand why his mother was down in the dumps but he knew from the moment she came home that Lena needed snuggles. He even enlisted the help of his aunt and Ruby. The 4 of them piled into Lena’s bed. She and Sam had hushed conversations about Lex while the kids focused on the TV hanging from the wall. The mothers weren’t blind to the fact that Ruby was listening in on occasion, that much was made clear when the 16 had year old grabbed Lena’s hand and squeezed after she noticed the shake to Lena’s whisper and then with a glance, the tears in her eyes. Lena fell asleep feeling better, wrapped in the arms of all her family. That’s how she wakes up too.

“Good morning Bug.” Lena whispers to her personal space heater of a child.

Colin snuggles further into Lena’s arms and mumbles out a dreary, “no”

Lena laughs and levels her gaze above his wild curls to see that Sam is already awake too, on account of both of Ruby’s knees square in her gut, the teenager still out cold.

“Ah, the joys of motherhood. Am I right?” Lena chuckles.

“Oh piss off lee” Sam laughs as she tries unsuccessfully to maneuver her sleeping daughters legs away from her body.

Colin next words are muffled, “Auntie, swear jar. That’s only a tier one bad word but I didn’t forget about yesterday when you said fu-“

“hoohoookay, I’ll drop a fiver in and we can call it even, bug.” Sam rushes out.

Colin looks pleased, “I’ll allow it.” Lena laughs.

“Can you guys pipe down, some of us enjoy sleeping in on the weekend.” Ruby grits out.

“Oh good morning princess, welcome to the world of the living. Can I bother you to remove your extremities from where they are lodged into my vital organs?”

Ruby groans, “dramatic.” But rolls away and cuddles into Colin, assumedly to fall back asleep.

After a moment, Lena lets out a bored response, “Well I mean, I guess we could all go back to sleep, I could always reschedule the science museum trip. It’s probably for the best, you guys seem exhausted.”

Both kids are alert in seconds.

_What have I done._

“WAIT WHAT” Colin screeches.

“AUNTIE LEE”

_God I love these fucking nerds._

Sam and Lena make eye contact and smile dubiously.

“Hmm yes, I agree. Let’s postpone it. They obviously need more rest.” Lena takes the queue from Sam and throws the coves back over them.

And then what could only be described as pure chaos ensues as all hell breaks loose. The covers are ripped away, and then both of the kids begin jumping on the bed, close enough that Lena’s life flashes before her eyes. Both women fall into boisterous laughter.

“NO NO no, you don’t get to do that to us” Ruby exclaims.

“YEAH what she said.”

“Yield or else!” The threat feels imminent.

“Yeah yield or else!”

“Okay okay we yield. Now please stop or Sam is going to start hyperventilating from lack of oxygen.”

Sam rolls out of bed onto the floor in tears, laughing uncontrollably. Lena eyes her wearily, ready to spring up and grab her inhaler from the kitchen if need be.

“That was cruel and unusual, Auntie.” Ruby pouts.

“hmm my apologies, but if we want to beat the rush we should leave straight away after breakfast.”

Both kids stare at Lena with smiles on their faces.

From the bedside, “You heard her, now scoot.”

And just like that they vanish.

“I wish they would move that quickly when I am the one running late.”

Lena rolls her eyes, “We should be so lucky. You good, darling? You were laughing so hard you looked like you were close to popping a blood vessel. in your old age. you should be more careful.” Sam just scoffs and flips her the bird. Lena laughs hysterically. 

Both women head to their respective showers and go through their routines, knowing that the kids are most likely already plowing through bowls of cereal in their excitement. After she’s finished, Lena heads to Colin’s room to offer her help. When all is said and done it is 9am, and everyone is ready to leave.

The ride over is uneventful, but excitement buzzes through out Lena’s Range Rover. When they arrive it takes all of the strength in Lena and Sam to contain the rambunctious duo until eventually they give up, allowing the kids to race ahead.

“You’d think they would be less excited. It’s not like this is their first time.” 

Sam looks at her bewildered, “Lena. Lee. They’re excited because of you, doofus. You’re the reason they like science. They like doing nerdy things like this with you! They definitely do not get this from me.”

Lena’s heart fills with warmth and broad smile breaks onto her face as she stares at her best friend, “Oh.”

“You fucking softie.” Sam rolls her eyes and throws an arm around Lena’s shoulders before the pair start following the kids towards the entrance.

KARA

“Kar, I am just not sure why we need to be here so early?” The sisters are walking towards the front entrance of the museum.

“Alex, we can’t get caught up in the after lunch folks, I need time to take in the sights and enjoy myself.” Kara justifies.

Alex curls her lip, ready to mock her little sister.

Kara intervene quickly at the sight, “ah ah you promised to not make fun of me today. I am more sensitive that usual.”

“Kara you’ve solar flared you haven’t lost your emotional shield.” Alex giggles.

The here shakes her head, “Nuh huh not true, last night with Dr. Kieran was really raw.”

“Oh yeah? It was raw?” The woman taking their tickets at the turnstile gives Kara and Alex a grimace at their crass words out of context, Alex dutifully smiles back.

“Yes it was raw..” Kara responds obliviously.

“Raw?” Alex looks like she barely containing laughter and Kara is confused.

As they board the escalator Kara turns around to face Alex, “Yes, what is going on why are yo-“

Alex doubles over laughing and realization dawns on Kara’s face, “Nasty, Alex. I meant emotionally raw. I actually want to talk about some things later okay?” She takes this chance to flick Alex in the forehead while she is powerless.

Alex nods, “okay, okay I’m sorry, but I deserve to have a little fun today too, even if it’s at your expense.”

Kara scoffs and links her arm with Alex to drag her through the first exhibit, “You act like you aren’t a giant fucking nerd. Your leather jacket isn’t fooling anyone, Alexandra.”

The sisters spend the next couple hours meandering and enjoying their Saturday morning. The last exhibit is the one Kara has been looking forward to the most. The museum had leased the traveling exhibition on dinosaurs and she had been incredibly excited when Alex told her the news.

“ahhh fuck! Al look! Look!”

“Kar, I am looking I promise. It’s hard to miss the life size casts of dinosaurs in this room, there is like 10 of them.” Alex laughs.

“I need you to take a picture, please? please. It’s important.” Alex eyes her suspiciously.

“Okay… why are you being weird. I took pictures for you all day, but now you’re being weird.”

Kara looks right and left to see that they seem to be the only ones in this section of the museum, a lull in tourists she supposes. She knew coming early was the right move. Kara lets a wicked smirk grace her features and wiggles her eyebrows up and down at Alex.

“Oh no no no, Kara don’t even think about it!”

Kara is already over the velvet rope, “stop being such a puss Alex or I’ll revoke your bad ass card.”

Alex takes the statement for what it was, a challenge. She looks left and then right and sighs. Gesturing she whispers, “okay hurry the fuck up. Jesus when did you get so daring?”

Kara smiles sweetly as she dashes over and heaves herself up onto the dinosaur, saddling up with a triumphant look. She looks at Alex who is staring at her with her jaw dropped.

“I thought you were just going to stand next to it!!” 

“Alex, close your mouth and hurry the fuck up so we don’t get caught.”

Alex shakes out of her shock and mutters as she begins taking photos of her rebellious sister.Once finished, Kara quickly dismounts and throws her arms in the air as Alex cackles.

She moves to see the pictures when she hears a voice behind her, “Well, I’d give it a solid 7/10, the dismount could have been better. Scratch that a I say 8/10 because it took balls”

Kara scoffs and turns around to let the intruder know that it was definitely a 10/10. But she only gets to the turning around before she gasps and points, “Hey! It’s you!”

“Hey stranger, nice to see you again” Sam smirks. She runs her eyes over Kara’s body appreciating the tight fit of her black jeans and navy blue long sleeve shirt.

“Oh you as well!” Kara then gestures between them and then the dino, “This can stay between the three of us, correct?” She raises an eyebrow.

_Oh wow she’s so pretty._

Sam laughs and nods. She crosses her arms and Kara's eyes are drawn to her chest, her mouth dries. Then a throat clears.

Kara clears her throat and averts her eyes back to her sister, “Oh I’m sorry this is my sister, Alex. Alex this is….” Kara’s face drops. “Oh man I don’t know if I ever caught your name that day.”

_Smooth._

She offers a hand and a smile, “Sam.”

_Perfect._

Alex shakes her hand and smiles. Before either of them can reply a tiny voice breaks through their little bubble, “KARA!”

Kara looks around confused, and then-

_oomf. What the-_

She looks down to see none other than Colin wrapped around her legs staring up at her, grinning wide. Immediately she breaks out in a genuine smile and crouches down, “Popeye! How have you been little man??”

“SO good! Did you see all of these Dinos?! Look, that one matches my shirt” He grabs the bottom of his shirt and pulls it outward to show off the graphic while pointing at the one behind Kara. Kara looks down and her drops her jaw dramatically.

Sam rolls her eyes in good nature and Alex giggles at their exchange, “ I sure did! And oh boy that is one neat shirt, you think I could borrow it sometime?”

Colin giggles and goes to reply but another distant voice cuts in “Colin where are you bug? Ruby got you something from the gift shop, babe.”

 _Oh shit, I know that voice._ Kara’s mind blanks and her pulse jumps. She slowly turns her head to see the woman approaching, distracted and laughing with a young girl. She gulps.

“Momma look! Its my friend from Noonan’s! The one who said I’m strong like Popeye!” Colin looks proud.

_Momma? What? Oh gosh she looks ethereal. Are those jeans painted on? Casual Lena is a serious contender for Professional Lena._

Lena turns to say hello and meet this mysterious friend when she stutters to a stop and her mouth opens and closes. Lena’s eyes dilate the slightest and Kara’s face reddens as she slowly stands. Rubbing the back of her neck she smiles, “Ahem Hi Lena.”

This seems to break Lena out of her trance of staring open mouthed at her, “Kara! Hi!”

_Oh fuck I love her rasp so much. Wow so pretty. I really need to talk to Alex about these feelings._

“Momma you know Kara?! Oh my gosh this is great.” Colin hops over to Lena and reaches to be picked up. She leans over and scoops him up giving him a kiss on the cheek.

_Wow they look like twins when they’re next to each other. Wait is Sam her partner then? Oh god that would be so hot. Wait what?_

“Yes I do know her, bug. I, um, work with her.” Kara sees Lena give a look towards Sam who looks confused and then her eyes bug out as she seems to realize. Kara blushes further. The young girl comes up behind Lena and hands Colin what seems to be a a stuffed triceratops. He squeals and wiggles out of his mother’s arms to jump into hers. Kara can hear him thanking her reverently. She smiles at the sight.

Colin turns to look at Kara again smiling, “Isn’t she the prettiest, see I told you Momma! Kara I told her you were pretty and that’s why I needed to help you.”

Lena coughs and nods with flushed cheeks.

“Oh gosh, thank you Colin, you are very handsome, yourself.”

Colin blushes and snuggles back into the young girls arms, shy all the sudden. Lena smiles as his reaction.

“You weren’t kidding about him reacting to pretty women the same way as you.” Sam cackles. “It’s like he’s all confidence and posturing until he gets a compliment and then mush. Classic Lena behavior if you ask me.” Kara unsuccessfully tries to ignore the fact that both these women just affirmed that she is in fact, a pretty lady. 

Colin sticks his tongue out at Sam and Lena follows suit, discretely high-fiving her son behind her back.

 _Oh man they are so fucking cute. What do I do now??_ Kara looks to Alex who seems all around confused with her knitted eyebrows and pursed lips, she sees Alex step forward and offer a hand before she can stop her sister.

“Hi my sister seems to have forgotten her manners,” Kara looks at her indignantly and Sam chuckles, “I’m Alex, and you are?”

Lena smiles and shakes her hand, “Hello, Lena Kieran” Kara chokes as the Doc slides her sunglasses up into her hair to properly greet Alex.

 _Alex definitely recognizes her now as a Luthor. Also wow her eyes always just punch me straight in the face whenever I see them. Like fuck._ Kara pinches her nose as the gasp inevitably leaves Alex’s mouth.

“You’re- you’re- you’re”

“The boogeyman?” The teen adds unhelpfully over top of Colin’s head. Lena laughs and shrugs.

“You wish Ruby, that so called boogeyman isn’t half as scary as your aunt and you know it.”

 _Aunt._ _But her and Lena don’t look like sisters at all! I mean neither do I and Alex I guess. Does this mean I should stop thinking about them both kissing me? Fuck._ Sam smirks at Kara knowingly and she squirms under the brunette’s watchful stare.

_Maybe I am not being as subtle as I thought I was._

Kara looks away and on to Alex, “Alex, Lena here is my doctor.”

Alex then widens her eyes and shoots a look between the two. “Oh. OH. Oh boy. Okay. Sorry I thought you said the Doctor was a man?”

Kara sucks through her teeth and she hears Lena muffle a laugh, “uh yeah sorry we haven’t had time to really catch up so it slipped my mind.”

Alex nods bemused, eye flickering between the two- scratch that, three women.

Finally a savior, “Momma can we go to lunch now I am starving.”

Lena smiles gratefully at her dramatic son, “Of course, bug. Why don’t you say goodbye to your new friends, yeah?”

Colin offers a high-fives behind his back just like his mom had to him not a minute earlier. Kara notices that the kid has obviously hit a wall. She thinks his effort is still valiant and of course, cute. Once done, Ruby grabs her Aunt’s keys from her pocket, waves and starts heading towards the exit with a sleepy Colin.

Lena pointedly looks to Kara, “Make sure you call Jess today, I know you haven’t yet because I didn’t get a calendar update. I don’t want you to have to wait long for the next session because my schedule fills up entirely too fast.” Kara gulps and nods quickly.

“Yes, ma’am” Kara manages. Sam smirks and Lena nudges the woman in reprimand.

Lena motions for Kara to follow a couple feet away, leaving Sam and Alex to resume their chatter.

Undetectable now, Lena whispers out, “hi, how are you doing darling.”

Kara smiles and looks down at her feet, “hi, I’m doing okay, this morning with Al has helped a lot. I think I am going tell her about everything after this.”

Lena nods, “and your arm?”

Kara looks over her shoulder to see Alex still busy, and the rolls her sleeve up. Lena sighs and reaches to run a finger along the bulging veins that lay over her well defined brachioradialis that is now covered in deep purple bruises. Her whole hand comes to rests on Kara’s forearm in the end. Her touch is warm but Kara still shivers, “Please lay out today, these look unbearably painful. Plus I don’t like the idea of you being so vulnerable.” Kara’s eys widen slightly and even Lena seems taken back by the truth of her own admission.

_I like when she worries about me, makes me feel fuzzy._

“You got it, Doc.” Kara says with a two finger salute after she rolls her sleeve down.

Lena smiles and rolls her eyes at at Kara who is smiling back mischievously. “Smart ass.”

_Dimples._

“Your son is really sweet, Lee. And your sister and her daughter. I am glad you seem to have a good support system too.” Kara offers up.

Lena ducks her head shyly, “Thank you darling, Sam is definitely not my sister though.” Kara misses the underlying meaning behind Lena's words.

_Oh. OH! Yippekyyay motherfucker!I CAN daydream about kissing both of them. Or them kissing. Or them nak-_

“Lena, you ready?” Sam asks from behind them, both women look over.

Lena nods and finally with one look to Kara, she speaks, “Put some more ointment on that wound, It looked gnarly last night.” And then louder, “It was nice meeting you Alex.” Lena smiles and Sam nods, agreeing. Alex tilts her head back, offering a small smile.

Lena belatedly waves over her shoulder and turns her head to offer a “Bye, darling. See you soon.” With a wink she's dragging a wide eye’d Sam away and out of the building.

_Oh my god I don’t know If I took a breath properly during that entire conversation._

“Oh my god dude. 1. She's a Luthor, not that I’m judging- but like you didn’t think to tell me? 2. She's a she! And she’s fucking hot! And that Sam? Smokin’. Finally 3. Why were you being so weird and awkward?” 

Kara swallows and pats Alex on the back, urging her towards the exit, “Not here. I’ll tell you everything as soon as we are are home, Al. I promise.”

The sisters stop once to grab a pizza and then head back to Kara’s home. Upon arrival Kara notices her door ajar. As she sets their food down in the hall Alex steps in front of her. Forgetting she has no powers, Kara’s instant reaction is to scoff but she is silenced quickly with a single glare from her sister. Alex unholsters her hidden weapon and slowly cracks the door open at first and then kicks it open all at once.

“Jesus Christ it’s just Mon-el.” Alex sighs while she holsters her weapon and then she turns to see that Kara’s entire demeanor has changed. She’s tense and unwelcoming. A look of concern crashes onto Alex’s face.

“What are you doing here and who do you think you are to just let yourself in?”

Mon-el who has since stood and moved closer speaks out roughly, “Come on Kara, give it up. You’re being dramatic.”

Kara exhales shakily and Alex automatically steps forward, “I don’t know what’s going on but I don’t like your tone.”

“Oh you don’t know? I walked in on Kara fucking some woman last night. Real classy gal, your sister. Sounded like she really enjoyed it even.” Alex’s eyebrows rise and she looks ready to fight.

Kara’s nostrils flare and a vein pops in her forehead, “I wasn’t having sex with her, she was helping me with my open wound. I thought I made myself clear last night that this was finished and you were not welcome here any longer.” Alex's eyes widen.

Mon-el scoffs and he crosses his arms petulantly, “Oh come on, you just needed to cool off. You know that we can work it out. Besides I am willing to forgive you if you forgive m-“

“NO.” It seems like everyone in the room is shocked at Kara’s raised voice, even herself. Kara is panting.

After a breath of silence Mon-el starts again, “Kara, come on stop being a drama qu-”

That’s the moment she breaks. She quickly navigates around Alex and gets into Mon-el’s face. Poking his chest she seethes out, “I said no, now leave.” Mon-el reaches out but she bats his hands away and shoves him back. “Don’t touch me ever again. Go. Now. And leave your fucking key.”

Mon-el looks taken back and finally recedes, “whatever, go fuck yourself.” He tosses the key at Kara and leaves the door open this time, not even caring enough to show his displeasure with a slam.

Kara sinks the floor and lets a sob go. The anger rolls off her and settles onto the ground, but sadness and embarrassment quickly replace it. Alex in holding her in an instant, whispering in her ear that it’s gonna be okay. Kara shakes and cries for a good while, the pizza long forgotten. Eventually Alex stands to close the door, gathers Kara and carries her sister to the couch.

“Kar, honey.”

Kara hums back in response, her glazed over gaze locked on the dust particles that dance in the beams of sunlight that flow through her window.

“Kara. Please I need to know what’s going on.”

Kara shakes her head, she weakly whispers, “I am too embarrassed.”

“Hey, you know you can trust me, I would never judge you.” Alex reaches for her arm to comfort but Kara flinches. Alex’s eyebrows draw together as her hand floats mid air. Kara sighs and shakes her head again. She begins rolling her sleeve up and Alex gasps. In an instant she’s up and reattaching her gun sling, getting ready to walk through the door to find him.

She snatches Alex’s hand and through heavy breathing Karas pleads, “Please Alex, he is not worth it, I just need you to stay please? I need my sister.”

Alex looks down at her distraught sister and sighs, “I’m sorry, you’re right.” She sits back down and holds Kara’s hand. They sit in silence for a moment or two while Kara cries quietly.

“He came over last night while I was having a session with Lena. We haven’t even begun the sexual aspects of my treatment yet.. She just was helping put ointment on my injury and it felt really nice, I was wincing all night leading up to that point. He walked in as I moaned. What with my shirt being off and her hands near my pants, he jumped to a conclusion. He wouldn’t even let me explain who she was.” Kara shakes her head and rubs her temples. “He grabbed me, forgetting that I am powerless. Regardless the grabbing was not okay though. I know that and Lena stood up for me, got him out of the apartment.” Kara smiles sadly.

Alex’s grip tightens on her hand in support, “I want to do many bad things right now.” She sighs again, “But I won’t I promise, although we should report him, we can call Maggie or better yet we can call J’onn.” She brings a hand up to wipe a tear away, “I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself, today.”

Kara shrugged, “Maybe J’onn, yeah. I am just incredibly embarrassed that I called him my boyfriend. What the fuck was I thinking Al.” Tears welling up again.

Alex pulls a face, “You were happy in the beginning Kara, none of this is your fault.”

Kara shakes her head and Alex is confused, “why are you shaking your head no?”

Through a fresh round of tears, Kara stutters “I-i- I was never happy. I don’t even think I like me-men”

Alex exhales, “Oh, honey.” She wraps Kara into a tight hug. “It’s okay. Just breathe.”

“I-i- I don’t know what to d-do.”

“Nothin Kar, you don’t need to do anything, just breathe.”

Kara takes some steadying breaths, “No Alex I don’t no what to do. This is what I was going to tell you. I was thinking of leaving Mon before he did this. I just I felt so guilty and I just I thought I owed it to him. And then, then I met with Dr. Kieran and I started having all these feelings that I’ve never had before, or more accurately, feelings that I think have never been this strong before, or maybe I repressed them even… I think that’s one of my issues, ya know avoidance. Lena said we could work on it. But regardless, after I started to feel things more freely around Lena, I looked back on the past and I think I’ve always been attracted to women. Like I definitely was in love with Lucy. And maybe even Cat a little bit. And now I have the hots for my fucking sex therapist! As well as her fucking best friend!? What am I going to do? ” Kara cries out.

“Oh b. It’s gonna be okay. We can work through this mess together okay?” Alex wipes Kara’s cheeks cheeks again. “I had a feeling. Call it sister’s intuition.”

Kara stops breathing for a second. “W-what?”

“Honey.. you were definitely in love with Lucy.. and she definitely was in love with you.”

Kara’s laugh is wet but loud, her tears coming to a light trickle at the point, “What the fuck, you didn’t think to clue me in?”

“You know that it doesn’t work that way Kar.”

Kara sighs, “I know I just wish I could’ve avoided all of this.”

“Yeah well you might have avoided Mon but guaranteed you would have been at least 3 crazy ex girlfriend’s deep by now.” Kara laughs again and nods.

“What am I gonna do about Lena..”

Alex glances out the window in thought, “Well do you think your attraction to her will help or hinder the whole sexual surrogacy thing.”

Kara shrugs, “I think it can only help it right? I mean if I am attracted to her I might find it easier to ya know.” Kara’s face flushes.

Alex groans, “don’t remind me. But seriously if you think it’ll be okay then I support you. Heck you might not even need it now that you’ve accepted that you are queer. You could very well quit and pursue Lena, or hell, even Sam.”

Kara doesn’t like that idea and shakes her head, “No I think it’s still necessary.. I don’t know how to express myself like that, it’s never been a priority. I think I should make it one. Plus Lena thinks that this treatment plan can help with my power and control struggles.”

Alex snickers, “Kinky.”

Kara rolls her red brimmed eyes at her sister’s ability to goof around after such a heavy conversation. “I love you Al, thank you for being here.”

“Of course honey. Always” Alex smiles and then, “So a Luthor and a Super huh?” She wags her eyebrows.

“Alex stop she only sees me as a patient.”

Alex shrugs, “I don’t know Kara she was staring at your arms pretty hard earlier. So was Sam.” And then, “Do you think I have a chance with her if not you?”

Kara whips her head around, “you better not”

Alex lifts her hands laughing. “Jokes. Jokes, I promise.” Alex brings her into an embrace again. She speaks into the top of Kara’s head, “Tomorrow me and J’onn are gonna kick Mon-el’s ass, I hope you know that.”

Kara smiles and hums out a “Okay, I guess that’s okay. As long as I don't need to be there.. and you order a new pizza.”

“Deal” The sisters sigh happily and Alex pulls her phone out to order. While finishing typing she starts laughing hysterically.

Kara looks over at her inquisitively, “Have you finally gone mad?”

Alex shakes her head through laughter, “No no no. I am just thinking about how both Danvers are queer, and Mom even had that girlfriend before Dad. Maybe it’s something in the water out in Midvale.”

Kara laughs loudly.

LENA

It’s later in the evening and Colin is napping in his room, Ruby is off doing homework. Lena and Sam are sat outside in the hammock watching the sunset.

“Stop fucking moving, or we both will eat shit.”

Sam cackles, “I’ll stop moving when you tell me how exactly you have survived working with that goddess? I have a new found appreciation for your self control, teach me your ways, young padawan." She takes a breath, "I mean Jesus Christ she looks like a fucking model. I fucking told you she was right up your alley, did I not? C’mon gimme that validation I crave.”

Lena groans, “I know I know. I am seriously walking a very thin line. I have already broken one of my rules.”

Sam gasps sarcastically, “which one?! Did you fuck? Tell me everything. Don't spare a single detail.”

Lena rolls her eyes, “no I gave her my cell number instead of my work number. Completely subconsciously too, which I think really shows how much I am out of control.”

Sam furrows her brow and scoffs, “ah, lame, I thought it would be more exciting”

Lena starts swatting at her in outrage. “Seriously though I might suspend some of my other rules to, and that is fucking scary. And so so so wrong of me.”

Sam nods, “Lee, your like the most professional person I know, I have faith that you won’t cross a line. Especially since you are the one who drew those lines for yourself.. And if its consensual it doesn’t make you a bad person. A little amoral? Maybe by your standards but not by mine. And trust me Kara is into you.”

Lena lets it slip, “Kara isn’t sure if she likes women.”

“Oh”

Lena sighs, “yeah”

“That’s definitely not the vibe I get. Her gayness is almost as loud that her sister’s.” Sam chuckles.

“But can we really trust your gaydar?”

Sam looks offended.

Lena raises her hands in surrender and giggles, “my bad.”

“I heard you call her darling earlier.”

Lena blushes and averts her gaze, “you caught that huh?”

“I sure as shit did. You like this woman. More than just lust.”

Lena whispers, “yes.. that’s why I need to be careful. I offered to refer her to a different therapist when she realized I was a Luthor, but she didn’t want that, or care. She just said she was worried about my safety.”

Sam looks shocked, “Wait how did she find out you are a Luthor..”

“She is the journalist.. from catco.”

“OH MY GOD” Sam screams through loud laughter. “your lives are so interwoven at this point its gotta be destiny, Lee”

Lena chuckles and pouts, “figures that I get a soulmate who I can’t pursue. Good thing I have you.” She smiles at the woman next to her.

Just then her phone dings. “Can you hand me that, It’s on the table behind you.”

Sam reaches for it and takes a look before passing it, mainly because she refuses to let Lena take business calls on the weekend. Especially not during hammock time. She squeals and smiles, “its her.”

Lena scrambles to grab the phone but Sam is taller and keeps it just out of her reach, “Sam, come on, let me see.”

Sam gives in and moves the phone closer while opening the text message.

**_Hey doc, just wanted to let you know I spoke spoke with Jess, looks like I’ll be seeing you on Tuesday 6 pm sharp._ **

And then another ding signals and both women squeal this time.

**_You’ll also be happy to know my injury is almost entirely healed._ **

“What injury is she talking about?”

Lena thinks quick, “Oh uh she was in the field and got hurt while reporting. Looked real nasty last night. A cut on her stomach.” Sam raises an eyebrow.

_Smooth, lee, smooth._

Another ding comes through and they both quickly slide their eyes to the screen. It’s an attachment. Both women’s eyebrows pull together and Sam clicks to open it.

**_Img_Attached_ **

**_Dr. Sis to the rescue._ **

They both choke on air.

_Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Holy fuck._

Sam picks Lena’s jaw up with her fingers and wipes the corner of her mouth, “I can’t believe you’re drooling but more so I can’t believe that you aren’t immediately dropping her as a client so you can date her. Wait can I date her?”

Lena glares at her and then looks back to the phone, she jokes “Not without me, you can’t.” _Am I joking though?_

The picture is effortlessly sexy. Wet dream inducing even. Its obvious that it wasn’t Kara’s intent but god damn. It's Kara sat on her couch. Giving a thumbs up as Alex is applying ointment with a Q-tip to her noticeably smaller cut. Alex is flipping off the camera with her free hand. But the main thing is that Kara is shirtless, only clad in her nike sports bra.

“She has an 6 pack. Her 6 pack has a 6 pack. I want to lick.”

Lena nods staring.

“We have been blessed.”

Lena nods again and sighs dreamily before she sobers up, “How do I reply to this in a professional manner?”

Sam snorts, “allow me?”

Lena decided to trust her and nods. Looking away she begins to daydream about Kara. The haze lifts when Sam nudges her to show what she has sent.

**_Fantastic! I’m glad you are healing properly. Hopefully it will be nothing but a memory by Tuesday. :)_ **

**“** Ugh I love you, thank you Sam.” Sam smirks and scrolls down to show a second text she shot off and Lena gasps.

**_My only regret is that Sam has seen the picture you sent by accident and she’s gone catatonic, just rambling on about abs in hushed whispers._ **

“SAM. NOT COOL. She can’t know we are doing this! Doctor Patient Confidentiality and all that!” Sam whoops and rolls her eyes. She tries to wiggle away from Lena when the phone dings again. The women wrestle for control but this time Lena wins, she is sat on top of Sam entirely and looking triumphant.

Sam’s hands move to her pale exposed thighs and squeeze the soft skin. “Oo yes daddy, you know I love when you top.” Lena rolls her eyes and opens the text.

She smiles as she reads the message quickly, “Okay your forgiven, but you’re on thin ice.” She turns the phone to show her Kara’s reply.

**_Tell her that if she must she can keep a copy for herself ;)_ **

_Woah flirty Kara? Is that what's happening?_

Sam smugly replies, “score! Send me that asap. Definitely spank bank material.”

Lena feeling brazen and horny from Kara's photo, grabs her by her throat gently and leans closely, “You’ve been bad Samantha, don’t look so smug.”

Sam gulps and defiance flashes across her chocolate eyes, “You know how to put in check if needed, lee”

“Don’t tempt me with a good time Samantha.”

_Such a brat._

Lena smiles down at her best friend as she strokes her throat with a thumb slowly. They have a complicated dynamic. They’ve tried before but something always seems to keep them from getting too serious, maybe busy schedules, maybe stubbornness, maybe a fear of losing each other if it heads south. Lena is sure it is the fear. She knows she’s in love with her best friend, the woman who bends to her every whim and vice versa. The last time they were really close to making it official, Lex’s trial had gotten in the way and Sam took the back seat to be a supportive friend. Colin was too young to remember but Ruby sure wasn’t, she is adamant that her Auntie is essentially her other mother figure, and Lena welcomes it. Regardless of their unspoken decision to keep things platonic with some added benefits, they’ve always stuck together through thick and thin. They love and trust each other immensely, and so what if they occasionally have a good fuck. They are grown women who know how to be discreet.

“Meeting of the minds tonight?” Lena raises a brow.

Sam’s eyes glint with lust and her hands squeeze thighs once more, “You’re on boss. Your place or mine?” She wags her eyebrows.

“God you’re a fucking dork.” Lena laughs and leans down to kiss her cheek. She then relaxes back into the hammock only partially on top of her best friend, although sam’s arms stay wrapped around her. They both doze off soon enough for a quick nap.

They’re woken later by hushed voices. Lena checks the time on her phone and sees they’ve only been asleep for about 30 minutes, it’s 630pm. She yawns and subtly bites Sam’s shoulder, “I’m hungry.”

“Shhh look.” Sam nods to the direction behind Lena. Lena adjusts quietly to see that Ruby is teaching Colin how to catch lightening bugs.

“I know we aren’t a typical family, Lee. But this is what I live for. I am so happy with Ruby, you and Bug.” Sam snuggles into Lena’s back and places a kiss on her head.

“Hmm I agree. I wouldn’t want it any other way.” She grasps Sam’s hand that lays across her stomach and hums happily while they watch the kids.

“I think maybe if Kara were involved you’d be able to come to terms with it, eventually.” Sam jokes as she tickles Lena.

She giggles and replies, “Ah two strong muscular women, all for little old me? And two amazing kids? That sounds like the dream. Although something tells me you wouldn’t mind much either, Sam” Lena sighs secretly wishing it could come true while Sam exhales happily into her raven hair from behind. She gives Sam’s hand one for squeeze before she untangles herself and stands. She claps her hands once, “Alright. I’m hungry. What are you guys cooking for dinner?”

Ruby turns towards Lena and smiles and while Colin fully ignores his mother, too distracted by the fireflies dancing on the grass, “Ooh Auntie, can we make that tofu stir fry? I need your help remembering the recipe and steps though.”

Sam laughs, “tofu, who’s kid are you? God help us all.”

Lena turns to flick her forehead, smiling, she quietly asserts, “you’ll eat what you get, or you won’t eat at all.”

The double meaning isn’t lost on Sam as Lena disappears into the house with the kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meeting of the minds next chapter? Sam and Lena's relationship will develop more quickly than supercorp because the groundwork has already been laid throughout their decade long friendship. Also I did tag pining so, buckle up kiddos.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smutty smut smut between Sam and Lena. send tweet. 
> 
> No but seriously, come get y'all's dinner.

LENA

Lena is wide awake in anticipation of the small knock she hopes to hear soon. Ever since her earlier conversation with Sam, she’s been trying her damndest to tamp down her giddiness.

_It’s been so fucking long, this is going to be amazing._

After the kids have gone off to bed, she changes quickly into a black lace bra and panty set that she knows Sam will enjoy, then slips on her short silk robe. She tousles her hair to look wild but in a sexy way and then heads to her bed. She settles on top of the 1000 thread count sheets, grabs her book and waits patiently. Her body flushes in excitement and she can already feel herself getting wet thinking about Sam’s body. About a half an hour later she hears knuckle meet wood softly. A grin takes over her face. She sets her book down and strides to the door, “What’s the secret password?”

A hushed response comes back, “Oh for fucks sake, lee. Open the door or I am going back to my room and using my shower head instead.”

Lena softly chuckles at the empty threat as she opens the door to allow Sam in. She lets her eyes follow Sam’s lean body till she all but dives into her bed. Lena shuts the door quietly and leans her back against it, biting her lip. Under watchful eyes, her hand slowly reaches behind to lock the door. Sam smiles wickedly and crooks her finger. Lena shakes her head no. Sam rolls her eyes and stands before walking back to Lena. Lena closes her eyes as she feels Sam’s forehead lightly brush against her own and then she feels Sam’s hands untie her robe smoothly and slip the silk off her shoulders, and then they come to rest above her waist. They both inhale. The temperature of the room rises and the the world dulls around them until all there is, is each other.

“You’re always so bossy. Must always have it your way.” Lena nods to agree and their noses slide against each other, lips brush so lightly. Sam’s hands continue to wander and Lena is pushed into the door behind her.

She rasps out “Hmm I think you like it baby” and then tilts her mouth up, inviting Sam to kiss her. At the last second she pulls away smiling, teasing. Sam’s hands tighten, and Lena can feel her frustration grow. Lena drags one hand up Sam’s arm slowly, and settles it on the back on her neck. Her other hand slides up the wall next to her to reach the dimmer. She lowers the lights to a subtle glow as she angles her head to kiss Sam’s neck. Sam lets out a breathy moan in appreciation and Lena’s teeth dig in, in retaliation, “Be quiet baby. Colin is getting older, we can’t explain away these noises as easily as we used to” Sam nods and swallows roughly leaning her head back to expose more of her throat and heaving chest.

_Views._

While she’s laving at Sam’s collar bones, Lena’s free hand fingers the bottom of the silk night dress she wears, and then she gives it a tug, “i like this one a lot”

Sam bites her lip, “I wore it because I know you do.”

“hmm good girl.”

Sam bites her lip harder in an effort to suppress a moan as Lena’s hand slips under her dress, her fingers making swirling motions on her upper thigh, “You look so good, lee.”

Lena blushes but leans forward and bites Sam’s ear, “I want you to get on the bed for me baby, knees and forearms, understood?” Sam nods silently, mouth hanging open and Lena’s hand that resides over her neck slips into her hair to tug roughly, “Use your words Samantha.”

Sam’s eyebrows draws together and her eyes slam shut, she pants out a quiet, “Yes ma’am.”

All at once Lena’s stops touching her. Sam’s eyes shoot open as she sees Lena lean back against the door smiling sweetly, chin lifted up. She lifts her hand and makes a twirling motion with her fingers to direct Sam. The taller woman does as she is told, breathing heavily. Once she’s in position she waits. No longer than 20 seconds but it feels like minutes. Lena’s takes a moment to enjoy the view. Sam’s night dress has ridden up because of her positioning and she’s not wearing underwear. Lena tsks and Sam tenses at the sound.

Lena walks over quietly and stands directly behind her. She lets her hips roll into Sam as she drags a single finger lightly down her back. She smiles when she sees the shudder it produces, “So pretty for me baby, and so naughty, not wearing any underwear.” Lena’s one hand comes down on her right cheek and then squeezes hard, Sam buries her head into a pillow to muffle her gasps and moans when Lena quickly slides said hand over to cup her. “Is this all for me?” Her other hand travels over Sam’s ass to her lower back, pushing the dress up further and then adding downward pressure. Her efforts prove successful, her lips quirk up as Sam arches her back and further presents her exposed core.Lena bites her lip staring at the tan skin before her.

 _God she’s so fucking sexy. I want to make her cry in ecstasy. I bet Kara would look just as good. Kara bending Sam over and doing exactly this sounds even better._ Lena feels wetness pool between her thighs at the thought of the two of them fucking in front of her. Watching them both, panting, sweating, cu-

Sam shakily replies, “Yes ma’am, all for you.” Lena’s mouth twists into a wicked smirk, “that’s what I like to hear.”

Without warning Lena grabs her hair and hauls Sam up to her knees. She has the lithe body lean against her and relishes in the heat pouring off of Sam. She bites Sam’s shoulder and once again tugs at her nightgown, “Take it off.” Sam doesn’t need to be told twice, the dress is off in an instant and Lena’s hands begin roaming over her body. She moans quietly and then hisses when Lena pinches her neglected nipples. “So so so pretty for me.”

“Can I touch you please?”

Lena nods and kisses her neck softly. Sam exhales and brings a hand up to Lena’s head at the crook her own neck. Her fingers thread through the raven hair and Lena smiles into her long neck. Lena feels Sam’s other hand make its way to her thigh, and just like earlier, she squeezes.

Lena’s fingers dance across the toned muscle the covers Sam’s abdomen, sinking lower and lower ever so slowly. Her fingers’ pattern much like a snow boarder gliding down a superpipe, beginning high and arching low, only to tease Sam by using the momentum to ascend back up the other side of her stomach. Eventually her fingers reach their destination, Sam’s jaw drops and she gasps, Lena loves that. Lives for that. Her fingers delve through puffy lips with no direction, just feeling, and experiencing Sam’s apparent arousal. Deciding to not tease any further at the moment, Lena begins to stroke tights circles around her clit. She dips her fingers lower and glides around the edge of Sam’s twitching cunt before gathering the wetness and bringing it back up. “So fucking wet for me baby.”

Sam whines and bucks her hips, “please lee, I need you.”

Lena leans back and trails her lips over her shoulder blade and into the center of Sam’s back, where she rests her forehead to look down and get a view of the taller woman’s perky ass as her own hips grind into it, working in tandem with her fingers. “So fucking greedy.” Each word is punctuated with a thrust, both Sam and Lena moan.

“Lenaaa” Sam whines. The raven haired woman chuckles and bites softly into her back as an apology for getting distracted. She can feel Sam’s desperate jog of her hips, begging for more friction so being who she is, she lets off of slowly and gradually, at first its so minuscule that Sam doesn’t notice it through her lust fueled haze. But the moment she takes her hand away completely, a stuttered sob leaves Sam’s throat, “Oh poor baby.” Lena laughs and slides the wet hand up to Sam’s throat a squeezes gently, “Why don’t get on your back for me like the good slut you are baby.” She feels her swallow and croak out, “ yes ma’am.” Sam crawls up the bed and turns to face lena. She sits with her knees together, reclined on her elbows, watching Lena.

Satisfied with Sam’s willingness to play her games tonight she chooses to reward the older woman. She parts her long legs and kneels between tan thighs. Her hands traversing slowly towards hips intermittently digging her nails in lightly. “Lay back for me, I’ll take care of you this time, no games.” She smiles at the frustrated woman who is breathing heavily, “it’s been so long, lee.” Lena nods as her eyes slide down from Sam’s face.

_God her tits are so sexy, with her dusky nipples teased into hard peaks. Fuck._

Lena leans down to kiss Sam’s chest, her lips softly running over her nipples. Her tongue dashes out intermittently, lazily letting her piercing drag over Sam. Sensing Sam’s annoyance at her aimless wandering she traps a nipple with her teeth and sucks lightly. Sam’s eyes glaze over and she moans in appreciation at the gesture as Lena enters her with slowly, with two fingers. She lets go of the nipple and sit’s back up to watch her fingers, bewitched by the sight, “God I love how tight you are for me baby.”

Sam bites her lips and nods rapidly, “always lee, only for you” Lena’ s heart rate rises at the site of her and the words that fall from her plump lips. And then she says something that causes Lena to moan loudly in response, “God you’re so fucking sexy, Lee. You always know exactly what I need daddy. Even when I’m alone, you are what gets me off.” She hears sam exhale sharply at Lena’s uptick in insistent thrusting. Sam continues, knowing what fully well how much her words effect the younger woman, “Sometimes I just let my mind wander when I touch myself, but it always ends up back on you, you and your long fingers fucking me so good.” Sam throws her head back and sighs at a particularly hard thrust.

“Oh yeah baby? What else do you think about?” Lena asks breathlessly, still completely fixated on the sight of her fingers being pulled back in by Sam’s weeping pussy.

Sam cries out at the force of her intrusions and loses her train of thought, Lena needs more, “tell me baby. I wanna hear what my dirty girl thinks about while fucking herself.”

“Ugh fuck daddy. I can’t I-“

“Yes you can Samantha. Tell me now or I stop.” Lena uses a free hand to gently pinch at her inner thigh to urge Sam on and then uses her fingers the spread her lips wide open for a better look. 

Sam pants out “mmm fuck I-i I I think about your mouth, and your devilish tongue that seems to reach so far inside of me that I see stars.”

“more”

“fuck fuck fuck.” Sam’s eyebrows knit together and her thighs tremble, “earlier, in th-the hammock while you were asleep, I just was resting my eyes I wasn’t sleeping.”

Lena pauses and Sam whines. “Why baby, tell what were you thinking about dirty girl.” She starts slowly curling her fingers again waiting for her answer, much slower than previously but still incredibly deep, she doesn’t fancy herself a total monster tonight.

“Oh fuck so deeeeeep” Sam cries out. “ I-i was thinking about Kara and You. I was thinking about her strong arms and how good it would feel to get railed by her.. And then I thought about how fu-fucking sexy it would be to see her fucking you.”

Lena moans looking down at the way Sam’s body twitches and squirms while recounting her thoughts, “so fucking sexy.”

_Yes yes yes, that’s what I want._

She picks up pace again and then ducks her head low to hover over the needy pussy that is in front of her. Sam whines quietly and bucks her hips, “That’s it baby show me how badly you want my mouth, you may touch me.” Sam’s hands fly into her hair and drag Lena exactly where she wants her. Lena smiles into her wetness and inhales Sam’s heady scent as her nose brushes through the wetness up over her pubic bone, where she bites her playfully. Then without preamble, at breakneck speed, she attaches her lips to Sam’s clit and sucks and licks, her fingers moving quickly in an out of the brunette in her bed. Slick sounds fill the air. Lena feels Sam’s wet hole clenching and feels her pre cum dripping down her own wrist. She detaches her mouth just barely so that when her lips move they brush against Sam’s abused clit, “You’re so close baby, do you need a little more?”

“God yes please daddy. Please.” Lena smiles and resumes the tongue lashing and extends her ring ring finger to join her other two, she thrusts once in, twice in, and then she slides it lower and Sam claps a hand over her mouth to muffle a load moan. Lena circles her tight asshole before pushing in gently, “That’s it baby, open up for me. Always taking me so well.” Sam whines and tries to relax. Lena thrusts in earnest and moves her free hand under a thigh and winds it around. She pulls Sam closer to her face and then moves her palm to rest on her lower abdomen where she applies light pressure. Although muffled by clenched thighs, the demand is clear to Sam, “Cum for me right now, Samantha.”

The vibrations of Lena’s voice securely on her clit cause Sam to cry out silently and arch her back off the bed, her legs shake violently around Lena’s head and her whimpers are growing in volume. “So fucking good baby, you’re so tight around me. Yes, baby you feel so good.” Lena praises as she continues slowly thrusting to drag out her after shocks until Sam’s desperate whimpers becomes sounds of discomfort.

Lena removes her fingers slowly and lazily crawls slowly up Sam’s still shaking body, leaving a trail of kisses as she goes until she reaches Sam’s lips, her arms bracketing the taller woman’s head. She bites down on Sam’s lip and moans, before breathing out, “always such a good girl for me.”

Sam lets out a high pitched mewl and nods while she wraps her heavy limbs around Lena’s waist to pull her further into her embrace. She inches Lena’s underwear down over her ass and down her thighs, then while Lena wiggles the rest of the way out of them, Sam works on her bra. Lena feels one of Sam’s hands rest on the back of her neck while the other begins playing with her pierced nipples, twisting gently and flicking roughly. They both sigh when their center meet. Sam whispers into her open mouth “Lee, you’re drenched” followed by her tongue swiping against the roof of Lena’s mouth.

Lena nods and goes in for a dirty fervent kiss. Tongues clash and lips are bitten roughly. She grinds her wet pussy against Sam’s, hips rolling harder and harder until she’s all but slamming them into her. Wet smacking noises are the only thing heard above their shared moans and the hushed encouragements tumbling about of Sam’s mouth, “yes daddy faster please, never stop. God I love how you feel. So good, so fucking good.”

_So fucking good yes, fuck._

Lena feels Sam’s hands rush to her back in a frenzy then the wonderful burn of nails dragging down her back roughly when their clits align perfectly. It sends her straight over the edge, light explodes behind her closed lids, her body shakes, tingles like she has a head rush, she moves to bite Sam’s collarbone to stop the scream that was rising from deep in her belly. She makes an effort to tense her body in order to allow Sam to continue rubbing her cunt over her. Despite Lena’s sensitivity, Sam delights in the pressure and friction as she rides out her next orgasm in full. They both moan wildly at the feeling of their cum finally mixing together. They stay still for a minute breathing heavily, letting their hands rove until their ability to speak words returns. When it does, they collapse in a sweaty heap together, “Fuck.”

Sam breathily laughs and brushes Lena’s hair away from her forehead, “seconded.” She continues on breathlessly joking, “I thought you were gonna put me in my place, huh daddy? That felt suspiciously like two, count em, two, back to back, amazing orgasms.” She raises a brow teasingly and holds up her index and middle finger to exemplify the number.

Lena looks up at her, smiles cheekily, “To be honest it’s been a couple months since I’ve seen your naked body, and I lost my patience, just wanted to feel you cum around me despite your behavior earlier.” Sam shudders. “But you have my word, if you text any other of my patients inappropriately, I will be painting your ass red with my hand.” And then very sleepily she mumbles out, “I love you, darling.”

Sam swallows and gives her a sweet kiss, “I love you too lee. So fucking much.” Another kiss. “And I promise not to text any **_other_** patients….” Her grin is mischievous and Lena chuckles while she maneuvers to nip at the troublemaker’s neck.

She groans and stands to unlock the bedroom door in case the kids need them and then disappears into her closet just to reemerge clothed, and in hand, a baggy t-shirt and underwear for Sam to dress in. Lena sets an early alarm, so that Sam can sneak back to her room, not wanting the kids to catch wind of their extra curriculars. They lay back down in Lena’s bed, tangled up, each of them taking turns dozing in and out of consciousness every so often during lulls of their quiet conversation, and then trading soft, languid kisses until eventually they both fall into deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How y'all feeling? fed? I hope so. Until next time (Tomorrow) xoxo


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Kara's next session. a little funny, a little sexy, a little sad?

KARA

Tuesday came faster than Kara could’ve anticipated. Her Sunday was spent getting brunch with James and catching up on what she missed during the faculty meeting on Friday. Since her powers had come back, the rest of the day sped by with Supergirl business filling in the gaps. Monday she turned in her assignment on Lena’s company. Snapper only corrected a couple minor grammatical errors and in Kara’s eyes, that is a huge win. He begrudgingly told her, “Mediocre job, ponytail. There’s hope for you yet.” Despite the backhandedness of the compliment, Kara felt like she was flying, she even had to check to make sure she hadn’t floated up off the ground in her glee. The good mood carried over into dinner with the super friends. But now her happy demeanor has been slowly replaced with nerves.

_Is Lena going to see me naked today? Should I shave? Do I need to get sexy underwear? How is this going to work, what will we be doing?_

Her mind has raced through a million questions and multiple different scenarios where she embarrasses herself. Kara’s higher self talks her down off the proverbial ledge though. She takes deep grounding breaths and reminds herself that none of these anxiety induced fever dreams will occur.. She hopes.

_We love anxiety._

When the work day is done and she finally makes it through her door she takes a second to gather her thoughts and achieve some semblance of equilibrium. She heads towards the shower and decides that yes, she is going to shave. Once she’s divested herself of her stress by way of hot water and eucalyptus soap, she decides, no, she is not going to put on lingerie. She rolls her eyes at herself and heads to her open face clothing rack. There, she throws on a sports bra, and slips into some comfortable men’s spandex that she usually wears under the suit. She chooses to keep it comfortable much like their last session, pulling on some grey nike joggers that sit low on her hips, leaving her v cut exposed. If that’s a conscious decision, she will never admit it. She struggles to put on a sky blue dry fit T that accentuates her eyes, and bunches up around her biceps. Looking in the mirror she shrugs. While fixating on her outfit for the night she misses the sound of the front door being open and shut and the footsteps that follow.

Kara shrugs again and speaks aloud, ”If I am gonna embarrass myself in front of her I might as well look good doing it.”

“There’s that can-do attitude! We love the confidence.” Kara screeches and spins into a defensive position, ready to kick some intruder ass.

When she sees that it’s her sister, she relaxes and calmly unwinds the towel from her hair before walking towards her. The red head gives her a confused look as Kara starts twist the towel in her hand. “Alex, what the fuck were you thinking sneaking up on me!” Kara snaps the towel in her direction.

Alex dodges the pistol whip and snickers “Hey! You usually can hear me come and go! It’s not my fault your daydreaming about the good doc.”

Kara groans, “Dude you gotta leave, she is gonna be here soon!” 

“Okay I am gonna ignore the fact that you just deflected, which totally means you are daydreaming about her.” Alex gives her a pointed look that has Kara blushing and shaking her head furiously, “Just relax, it is only 5:40, Kar. I promise to be gone by the time she is here. I just wanted to check in, I didn’t get to see you one on one much yesterday or today.”

“I’m doing okay, I promise. Much better since Saturday.” She sighs and sends a smile to Alex, “With Mon-el out of sight & out of mind, I feel the immense pressure of figuring this stuff out lifted. It honestly feels very freeing to be single. I can just have fun with this new exploration of myself. Feels like half of my problems just up and dissolved.” Kara shrugs as she walks to the bathroom to throw her towel into the hamper.

“Whoa Nelly, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Alex jokes.

Kara pops her head through the door, “Reverting back to your horse girl phase, are we?”

Alex gasps, “What the fuck? We promised never to bring up that again. You took a blood oath!”

Kara rolls her eyes, “Don’t use the lingo then, cowgirl! Can’t take the heat then stay out of the st-stable? Yeah the stable!”

They both collapse into laughter on Kara’s bed. Alex is holding her belly still when she whispers out, “I feel like I have my sister back.”

Kara turns her head to look at Alex and smiles, “It’s good to be back.” For the first time silently acknowledging her lack of presence recently.

“Oh I wanted to see if you wanted to head to a gay bar this weekend? I know you just ended things with him” Her nose wrinkles, “but maybe it’ll be fun. You could put some feelers out, yeah?”

Kara laughs nervously, “I don’t know, I mean what if I am no good at talking to women?”

Alex rolls her eyes but smiles, “Leave the heavy lifting to me.” Her older sister grabs her hand and squeezes and then stands, “alright buckaroo I better giddy up. Call me later?”

Kara laughs again and lets of a lofty, “Sure thing loser.” Alex tips her imaginary cowboy hat and makes her exit. Kara takes a deep breath and shakes her head at Alex.

_It does feel good to be back._

DUAL POV

Lena steps out of her car and thanks Jerry as he closes the door. She notices a familiar face exiting Kara’s building and decides to greet her, “Hi. Alex, right?” She offers a smile.

Alex nods and adds jovially “Howdy doc!”

Lena raises a brow at the odd greeting.

_Who is she, Clint Eastwood?_

Alex seems to realize and coughs, “ahem I mean hello.” She laughs manically, “How are you?”

“I’m doing well, you seem to be in good spirits too?”

“Oh definitely! Since Kara has started seeing you, she’s been more and more herself and that makes me a happy big sis. I guess we have you to thank for that.”

Lena shakes her head, “No way, that’s all her. Your sister is mighty special.”

Alex’s face breaks out in a broad smile and a perceptive look passes through her eyes that has Lena tensing slightly, “Undeniably so.” She checks her watch. “Well I better let you go, it was nice seeing you.”

“You too” She hesitates, “partner?”

Alex cackles at the astute call back and tosses a “I like you, Doc.” over her shoulder as she climbs on her motorcycle.

Lena shakes her head smiling as she makes her way through the front door of the building and up the stairs.

_Alright Kieran, let’s go. You listened to your psych up mix, you got your plan, and you got your self control. You got this._

Her pep talk is short lived because before she knows it, she’s in front of Kara’s door. This time when she goes to knock, the door swings open before her knuckles can go through the motions.

“Lena! Hey!” Kara is smiling like a kid in a candy store.

_Bye bye self control. What a puppy. Oh my god._

Lena squeaks out a high pitch “Hi” that has Kara tilting her head.

_Definitely a puppy. A big golden retriever to be exact._

“Well come on in! I just need to finish up in the kitchen. I was in the process of making myself some tea to calm some nerves, would you like a cup?” Lena enters her apartment and sheds her coat while Kara shuts the door behind them.

“Sounds wonderful, thank you Kara.” Kara busies herself grabbing another mug and dropping a tea bag into it for steeping. But when she lifts up off the ground to reach said mug on the tallest shelf her shirt rides up, Lena’s eyes catch a glimpse of the well defined V cut disappearing into what seems to boxers. Her mind stutters.

_Oh fuck. Sh-she wears briefs? What have I done to deserve this mental torture. Wait, Is she just fucking floating?! Oh right. Superhero. Duh._

Lena’s eyes continue to drift over her body, fully appreciating the tight fit of her clothing, “Thats a fancy trick.”

Kara, with her back to Lena still, shrugs, “well when I am at home I feel more inclined to just use my powers at will, it’s hard to pretend in public, ya know?” She laughs, “I’ll have you know I am the best blender, microwave, step ladder, and AC unit this side of the Mississippi. They call me the all in one appliance.” When she turns with their drinks she comes face to face with a grinning Lena. They both laugh. Kara moves to take a seat next to her at the island and hands Lena her cup, “be careful it’s hot.”

“Darling, I’m Irish. My body is 50% scalding tea. Thank you for you concern though.” Kara’s eyes shift at Lena’s mention of her body.

_Rao her body._

Kara sobers up and slides her eyes back to a respectful point, her pretty jawline, “I thought I heard an accent. It was especially noticeable the day at the museum, and today.”

_The waning sunlight looks so good on her features. Golden hour is definitely made specifically for Dr. Lena Kieran._

Lena hums and takes a sip of her tea, “yes, it was almost beat out of me entirely at the catholic boarding school Lillian had me attend. Nuns can be mean like that. And hell hath no fury like an angry vestal with a ruler. At least mother had the financial wherewithal to pull me from the school and shut the institution down, when she found out what was happening to me and the other girls.” Lena subtly grimaces at her candidness with her client.

_Wow Kieran, overshare much?_

She tries to redirect back to the original question, “I usually only feel comfortable letting it flow around family. Not everyone knows that I am adopted.”

The fact that she’s using her real inflection now isn’t lost on Kara, in fact it makes her heart race and her face contort into a wide smile. She nudges Lena with her shoulder, “Well, I like it.”

Lena blushes, “Thank you.” She clears her throat and angles her body towards Kara, “So. Why did we need tea to settle nerves?”

Kara laughs and averts her eyes, “I should’ve known you would catch that. Hmm I just was anxious. I know we went over what was to come but I guess it was too vague because my mind starting conjuring up some wild scenarios.”

Lena laughs, “ah, there’s that control issue peaking through. Would it satiate your nerves if I start letting you know exactly what to expect before hand?”

Kara furrows her brow and looks skyward, “mm I don’t think so, I think I would probably still overthink.”

“About what?”

“Honestly?”

Lena nods, “I always want you to be honest, even if it’s something you think I don’t want to hear.”

Kara nods and runs her hand through her hair nervously, “Well I was nervous about you seeing me naked, which I am pretty sure isn’t even gonna happen today. Even so, I shaved literally everywhere and debated on putting some nice underwear. And then I was fixating on ways I could embarrass myself with my lack of experience in self intimacy.” She softly smiles outwardly at Kara’s silliness, completely understanding the ins and outs of anxiety, but on the inside her stomach does summersaults at the thought of Kara wearing lace for her.

“Well to each their own. If you want to shave, then shave. If you want to put on a nice bra and panty set to feel good, then by all means. Wear a corset and stockings for all I care darling, I just want you comfortable.”

 _Please god wear a corset and stockings._ Lena inwardly scolds her runaway thoughts.

Kara blushes and laughs, “Okay good to know, Doc.”

Once they drain their cups, Lena turns to pull her trusty notebook out, “Alright let’s talk a bit more and then we can get into the physical part of this session, sound good?”

Kara nods.

“Okay, how was the rest of your weekend?”

“It was really good aside from spilling my guts to Alex. God I was such a mess. A literal snot covered toddler.” Kara grimaces. “Oh and Mon-El showed up” Lena tenses beside her.

“Has he hurt you again?”

Kara shakes her head rapidly, “No, no. Alex was there. She even pulled her gun. Unrelated to what Mon-El did. She thought there was an intruder. She for sure wanted to hunt him down after I told her what happened though.” Kara laughs.

Lena inquires, “Doctors carry guns now?”

“HA no, Alex is more than a Doctor, she actually works for the same government agency as I do.”

“Ah I see. Well did he leave peacefully or shall I send my goons after him to teach him a lesson?”

Kara laughs once more and furrows her brows, “You know, I can’t tell if you are serious or not.”

Lena eyes Kara and lifts a brow, “Well sometimes my Luthor genes just shine on through, It might surprise you, the range I have.” Lena is not oblivious to what the public perception of her family is, while Lillian is a wonderful mother, the woman is cutthroat with those who cross her, she rules over LCorp with an iron fist. Lena really doesn’t need to explain why Lex casts a negative filter over them, that much is obvious. Lionel was a good man, but those familiar with the family knew that her mother was the driving force that really ran the show behind closed doors. Her anonymity is only possible because of her mother’s wide reach and firm grasp on the neck of the corporate world. Lena’s true identity is the industry’s best kept, open secret.

Kara’s voice slices through her inner monologue with a “Color me impressed already. I’ll let you know if it’s necessary in the future.” Lena laughs and nods.

_Alex is right, she really is so much more joyful. The difference is clear as day, it’s like life has been breathed back into her. Wow. I love seeing her so light and happy._

“What did he have to say?”

“Same bullshit different day really. Oof he did say something that got under my skin though. It made me snap.” Kara shakes her thinking about the sheer audacity. “He said if I forgive him he would forgive me.”

Lena cackles, “wait what. No he didn’t”

Kara nods throws her arms out, “I know right? I am not sure what he was thinking. I’ve decided that I don’t care to find out either. I told Alex earlier that it’s out of sight out of mind. I got enough closure the moment he put his hands on me.”

Lena grins, “You’re already making great strides, Darling. I am very proud. Let's keep in mind though that upheaval of trauma and emotions comes in waves often, so stay vigilant of what your feeling. If something comes up, mention it, no more repressing that stuff, okay?”

Kara smiles and ducks her head, “Thank you. I am proud of myself too. And yes ma'am, I promise.”

Lena nods, “Good. Anything else happen that is noteworthy?”

Kara looks up and blows out a breath before launching into a recap, “Snapper gave me my first sort of compliment yesterday, and it was on the piece about your company! Oh and I came out to Alex on Saturday so that was neat. But Snapper literally told me that my work was mediocre! Can you believe it? Last month he called one of my articles a literal dumpster fire. I promise its above mediocre, by Snapper’s standards, mediocre is fantastic. On Sunday, I got brunch with Ja-”

Kara’s ramblings get cut off by Lena interjecting, “Sorry, Let’s just back track for a second.” Kara looks over at a shocked Lena who’s cheeks have gained some color. “First off, congratulations on your article! You deserve all the praise.” Kara preens. “And you came out??”

“Oh yeah! I did do that.” She nods.

Lena’s jaw drops and she's left hanging, waiting for Kara to elaborate.

_She’s gay oh my god she’s gay. OH MY GOD._

“What?”

“Kara! Yo-you came out?! This is big, monumental! Fuck Sunday brunch with whoever, tell me more!”

Kara pouts, “Hey I like brunch.”

Lena snorts, “you’re right I’m sorry. Brunch should never be devalued. But Kara, this is huge news!”

Kara shrugs and places a hand over her heart, “I’m still getting comfortable with it but yes. I, Kara Zor-El Danvers, am here, and I am queer.”

Lena chuckles at her blasé demeanor. “Well then, welcome to the club, we meet every Saturday for a potluck at the Y to talk shop and trade hardware.”

“Wait really? Because I have this vintage tool set that I got appraised and-”

Lena laughs, “No you goof. I am joking!” She smiles at the superhero, “Seriously, congratulations. How does it feel?”

Kara smiles, “really really good. Its like I’m finally acknowledging something I’ve known for a long time subconsciously. I think it’s been tucked in the back of mind. Like an immense pressure has been lifted.”

Lena nods completely understanding that feeling, “Can we circle back to that vintage tool set, I mean c’mon. That screams lesbian.”

“HA! I am telling Alex you said that. She said that she already knew low-key. Called it sister’s intuition.” Kara rolls her eyes.

“And how did she know?”

Kara smiles shyly and looks away, “ahem, I may or may not have been in love with this girl, Lucy. And I may or may have not had a gigantic crush on Cat. Apparently I was oblivious but Alex, being a seasoned gay, was not.”

“Well well Ms. Danvers.” Kara shivers at the use of her last name like that. She sees Lena raise a brow and lean in waiting for her to dish. Her eyes dart down at the generous cleavage and then quickly away.

_I like that a lot. Oh Rao._

She rolls her eyes, “What would you like to know?”

“Tell me about Lucy. I already know Cat.”

Kara smiles fondly, “She is one of my best friends still, although we rarely are in the same city. We’ve known each other since college. Uh we were roommates in the dorms until she enlisted and went off to Officers Training.” Kara sighs, “I am not sure, she was just so enigmatic, I wanted to know everything about her. We were attached at the hip and I remember thinking she was so pretty and strong and intelligent. I remember she would literally walk into a party and immediately pick a fight with the biggest guy to assert her dominance. She would tell me it was a necessity so the men wouldn’t hound us all night.” Kara chuckles at the memories. “I chalked it up to best friend things at the time. We used to write each other all the time when she was at basic or overseas on tour. We still keep in touch but I definitely am not in love with her anymore. Alex thinks she was into me too though and I am not going to lie, that is a huge ego boost.”

Lena feels a pang of jealousy but fights it off. _Oh grow up Kieran._

“Hmm the dear John letters are definitely sus behavior.”

Kara laughs, “Look at you, all hip to the teen lingo.”

“I try my best to impress.” Lena rolls her eyes at herself. “So you definitely have a type.”

Kara’s face screws up in confusion, “What? How? Cat and Lucy are nothing alike, look nothing alike.”

“Kara, Kara, Kara.” Lena shakes her head. “What do these two women have in common?”

Kara makes a face, “I dunno.”

“Poor sweet innocent, Kara.” Lena giggles out, “Let’s break this down. What about their respective jobs?”

“Uh Lee I am not sure what a media mogul and a high ranking officer in the army have in common. Are you okay? Did I accidentally give you the alien tea? If so, you gotta tell me, that stuff is dangerously trippy for humans.”

Lena shakes her head again, “no you didn’t but we are gonna come back to that because I am interested.” Lena smiles, "Kara, darling, sweet kryptonian, they both are powerful women. They both hold immense power and are hold positions that normally a man would fill because our world is an androcentric heteronormative hellscape. You are physically attracted to them yes, but I think you also greatly admire their ability to hold power and keep control, possibly even their dominance.”

As the words leave her mouth Lena’s mind comes alive. _Wait that’s me. I-me. I do those things. SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THERES A CHANCE?! Oh god hold it together, Kieran._

Kara’s lips form an O and her eyes widen, “Lena. You’re a genius.”

_Oh my Rao she is one step away from realizing my fucking ginormous crush on her, reel it in danvers before you blow your cover._

“I know.” Lena raises a shoulder in indifference.

_Rao she’s so smart. And pretty. Oh boy._

“You know me better than my tiktok algorithm” Kara giggles.

Lena’s eyes light up, “Oh my god have you seen the one with the chick who sleep walks?!”

Kara sucks air through her teeth and shakes her head, “I’ve been stuck on cartel Tok for about a month. I know just where to go if you want some primo coke though.”

Lena deflates, “eh I already have a guy.”

Kara startles, “WHAT?!”

Lena snorts, “once again, I am joking Kara.”

“Rao, don’t do that, I was worried somebody was selling on my turf, I was ready to bust knee caps.”

Lena’s shocked by the return of her dry humor, “You can give and just as good as you get, huh?” Kara laughs and nods, “Could you imagine though, A super dolling out cocaine like candy. I could see the public outrage now.”

Kara nods laughing and then happily sighs, “Oh man we’ve gotten insanely off topic, no?”

Lena checks the time, it’s only been 30 minutes still a hour and half left in time, she shrugs, “Not entirely, it’s important for us to have a good rapport.”

Kara smiles, “Consider our rapport grand then.”

“I’m immensely glad.” She nods and smiles, “Let's move on though, I don’t want to rush us through the activity.” She stands and gestures for Kara to follow, “Okay, you walking muscle, I need you to make that coffee table disappear.”

“On it, boss.”

 _Boss._ Lena blushes.

Kara lifts the solid wood table one handed and hears Lena’s heart speed up. She smiles to herself in pride. She sets it down behind her couch and turns to look at Lena for her next direction but she finds the doc standing there with her mouth open. Kara laughs and curtsies.

The curtsy does the trick and Lena throws her head back laughing. “Okay okay. I need you to grab one of those pillows and just lay in the supine position on the floor for me.” Kara nods and does as she’s told. Lena smiles discretely.

_Good girl._

“Okay darling, we are going to do some body mapping alright?” She walks over to her bag and grabs a good sized piece of poster board out and unfolds it. On it, is an outline of a body. She takes a pen and sits on the ground next to Kara. “Alright so essentially we are going to see what feelings are produced when certain areas, erogenous zones, are touched.” Heat spreads through Kara’s body at a rapid speed. She nods. “I need you to adhere to the traffic light system ok? Green for go, Yellow for slow down, Red for stop. Repeat it back please.”

Kara rasps out, “green for go, yellow for slow, red for stop.” Lena cracks a smile at her obedience.

“Okay we will start simple. Close your eyes.” Kara does. “Now Imagine anyone you’d like. Lucy, Cat, hell even Wonderwoman-“

At the mention of the name Kara cracks an eye, “You know she’s propositioned me before?”

Lena gasps, “wait what?”

Kara closes her eyes once more and nods smiling, “We were drunk on that there couch.” She points to her left, “I gave her a kiss. And then promptly hit my alcohol tolerance wall and ran to the bathroom to throw up. Poor Diana, I think if I was sober I would’ve kissed her as well to be honest. Even closeted me knew that it would be preposterous to turn her down.” She giggles. “I’ve never told anyone that, not even Alex.” Lena’s heart swells.

“Okay, wow. Thank you for sharing.” Lena shakes her head to clear her thoughts, “Right where was I? Ah, yes um okay imagine whoever you’d like..” _Might I suggest myself? “_ I want you to imagine them here with you, they will be the one doing all this to you. Currently they are running their fingers through your hair.” Lena softly beings carding her fingers through Kara’s hair as she speaks. _This is not the plan Kieran, I’m meant to create space between us with the bloody props! Another rule bites the fucking dust._ Kara hums happily and Lena’s personal reproach fades into the background as her mind empties. Lena smiles and whispers out, “how’s that feel?”

“Good”

“Okay what else, I need you to be detail oriented in your descriptions moving forward.” She scratches lightly at Kara’s scalp.

Kara purrs, “It feels comforting. Relaxing. Safe I guess? Does that make sense?”

“Of course, darling. We don’t gatekeep emotions ‘round these parts. There isn’t a certain way to feel something or an incorrect way to achieve a certain feeling.”

Kara nods in understanding.

“Okay don’t be surprised.”

“Huh?” Kara mumbles out.

Lena starts pulling gently on the golden locks.

Kara gasps, “oh.” She is pretty sure no amount of warning could prepare her for the onslaught of arousal that one gesture could churn out.Her cheeks color. She feels a gush of wetness between her legs.

_Rao, that’s fucking new, and also harder please._

“Is that a good oh or a bad oh.”

Kara’s voice cracks, “Definitely good.”

“Care to expand on that?” She pulls a little bit harder.

Kara’s chest heaves the slightest and she stutters, “Uh i-it feels sharp and overwhelming but in a good way. Like a rush. I like it.”

Lena grins salaciously. She takes her hands away and tells Kara to relax while she notes everything down on the chart.

“Alright darling we are moving on to the next area.” Lena slides her hands back into Kara’s hair and rubs her scalp for a second and then smoothly transitions her hands to the back of her neck. Her thumbs come up and start tracing the outline of Kara’s ears.

Kara shivers and then giggles, “tickles.”

Lena smiles again. _Gosh she is so cute._ “What else?”

“feels playful.”

Lena nods, “and if I do this.” She pinches and pulls at Kara’s earlobes lightly.

“woah. Very different”

“mhm and?” Lena prompts her as she rolls her earlobes between thumbs and index fingers sensually.

“I like it. Feels hot, but also relaxing in a weird way. Definitely less playful, more direct? More point black.”

“Imagine it’s wonderwoman’s teeth tugging on them now.”

Kara fidgets, “oh um that sounds nice. Yes I would like that” _I rather imagine yours. Or Sam’s. Rao._

Lena smirks and takes her hands away to write down Kara’s reactions.

She places her hands back on the sides of Kara’s neck and the proceeds to lightly run her nails down. The tendons jump and she feels Kara swallow.

Kara whimpers, “Uh yeah I like that a lot. Feels explicit? Like passionate.”

Lena puts her hands back stationary and applies slight pressure. Kara straight up moans.

Kara winces at herself in embarrassment, “Oh uh sorry. Um I liked that too I guess..”

“Good darling, no apologies okay? These are all natural responses. Don’t feel shame. Now imagines it’s teeth and lips applying the pressure, how does that makes you feel?”

“Oh Rao. Um yeah I feel a strong response to that.”

Lena thinks to herself, _Boy don’t I know it, I can see the blush creeping up your pretty neck._

“Good good” Once again Lena pulls away and jots down on the diagram. “Traffic light check?”

“Green definitely green.”

“Wonderful. Okay this next one might seem weird but its necessary and you might even like it. Lift your arms above your head for me.” Kara nods and does so, subtly flexing once they relax on the floor above her.

She wasn’t prepared though. She barks out laughter and tries to squirm away as Lena starts rubbing slow circles into her armpits, “what the fuck, this is an erogenous zone?”

Lena says seriously “Hey now no kink shaming.” But then laughs subdued, “it is quite weird isn’t it?”

Kara laughs at her attempt to be serious, “what ever floats your boat I guess.”

Kara listens to Lena’s consistent heartbeat and smiles. “I am assuming I mark this one down as ticklish as well then?”

Kara nods her head in response and waits patiently for Lena’s warm hands to grace her body once more.

_Thank Rao I am the one with superhearing. If she knew how fast my heart has been beating she’d probably be concerned._

She feels Lena next grab one of her arms and place it in her lap. Kara’s brows furrow. She feels a finger lightly begin tracing shapes onto her wrist and ever so often tickling up her forearm to the inside of her elbow and then back down. She shivers and is entranced immediately. When she realizes Lena has been asking her a question she shakes herself out of her reverie.

“Sorry I wasn’t listening.. Were you drawing my crest?” If her eyes were open she would see the blush on Lena’s cheeks, but instead all she hears is the stuttering of her heart beat.

Lena clears her throat, “Um I was actually. How did that make you feel?”

Kara smiles, “Very relaxed, hypnotized even. Everything else faded away. Like I wish I could have that feeling bottled and on stand by for when I feel anxious or out of control. Not sexual at all.”

“That sounds like a good feeling nonetheless. Maybe we should keep that in mind for future times when you feel panicked.” Kara hums as Lena’s fingers slowly come to a stop. She pouts and Lena chuckles.

“Okay darling for the next one I need you to take your shirt off if you are comfortable with that. I am going to get up once you are settled again to grab a prop.”

Kara nods and opens her eyes. As she adjusts to the lighting she glances a peek over at Lena writing on the poster board.

_She looks so beautiful when she is focused like that._

Lena looks up to see Kara smiling at her, she raises a brow, “C’mon slowpoke shirt off. Hop to.”

Kara chuckles and removes her shirt in one fluid motion.

 _Oh fuck me._ Lena averts her eyes and clears her throat, “Alright darling, back down you go. Close those blues and we can continue.”

Kara does as she’s asked and tunes back into what is quickly becoming her favorite sound. She notices that it’s thundering. Worried, she cracks an eye to see Lena across the room, one hand to forehead and the other in a fist shaking wildly in the air as if she is cursing the gods. Now Kara is not that oblivious, but she does wonder if Lena is uncomfortable with her or if she is enthused about recent developments. She decides to give her worrisome thoughts the benefit of the doubt and rather believe that Lena is just overwhelmed by Kara’s body. _Oh.. she likes what she sees? She likes what she sees!_ She closes her eyes and bites her lips to keep the laughter from spilling out. She hears the faucet turn on and wonders if Lena needed to literally quench her thirst. _I can’t believe she finds me attractive._

Lena returns slowly, her eyes feasting on the smorgasbord of tanned skin and defined muscle exposed to her. She feels faint and finds herself really wishing she would’ve stuck with the props from the beginning.

 _And I thought those nuns from boarding school had built up sexual frustration. I could give them a run for their money._ She’s at her wits end here. She takes a seat next to Kara but this time on her knees.

She breathes heavily, “Lights?”

“Green doc.”

Lena nods and then realizes that Kara can’t hear her head rattle.. _Wait can she?_

“Can you hear my head nod?”

Kara chuckles, “No, your brain is much too large. Now, if it were say, the average male? Probably.”

Lena cackles, “Good to know.” She takes a breath and places the wet washcloth she’s grabbed over Kara’s naval. She sees her inhale sharply and her obliques and abdominals flex, _Oh for fucks sakes._ She manages to squeak out, “Was that reaction from the surprise or?”

Kara shudders as Lena begins apply light pressure in a circular motion, “Uh yeah but also it feels so good. Like it felt like the shock traveled straight through my veins up and down my body. Felt like another adrenalin rush. the pressure makes my body hum.”

“That’s common, the pressure paired with the cool temperature can be very erotic.”

“Wait does that mean I should be using my freeze breath in bed?”

Lena coughs to cover her whimper. “Uh I can’t say for everyone, but from what I have gathered, yes the general population would enjoy that. Always ask first though. And ya know, try not to accidentally induce hypothermia.”

Kara chuckles, “right on.”

“Stellar” Lena pokes fun at Kara’s 70s slang.

Kara cracks a smile at the back in forth, “bitchin’”

“Radical” Lena throws back beaming.

Kara cackles, “What are you a beach bum? Gonna go head to the beach in your VW bus and shred some gnar’ later?”

“You’re one to talk, Goldie locks.” Lena shakes her head laughing and removes the washcloth in order to begin writing again. “Okay up next I need your hand again.”

Kara dutifully offers it up. Lena exhales shakily. _Wow long. Wow thick. Wow._ She takes the washcloth that has since warmed from Kara’s heated skin and wraps it around a finger tip. “Do you run high, temp wise?

Kara nods smugly “yeah it’s nice to never get cold.”

“Okay smug. Us mere mortals are already jealous, no need to gloat, punk.” She smiles at Lena’s response.

Kara shrugs, "If you got it flaunt it." Lena laughs and they're both silent for a moment. Her hand feels warm in Lena's and it gives her butterflies.

“So uh what are we doing over there.” Kara wiggles her wrapped finger to highlight what she is asking about.

 _Oh right I am meant to be doing something right now._ Lena rolls her eyes at herself. “Right um, so this isn’t super accurate but I’d like you to imagine this person has her lips wrapped around your finger.” She blushes as she says it. _Am I really jealous of a fucking towel right now? Yes. Yes. I am._

Kara visibly stutters, her hand muscles contract and Lena sees her fingers that aren’t wrapped curl slightly. Her mouth waters.

“Oh uh wow. Yeah th-that’s definitely a yes.”

“details, darling.” Lena reminds gently. Enjoying watching the kryptonian squirm.

“Um the idea makes my entire body feel warm, feels dirty but in such a good way, I um want to that to happen to me for real.”

A lascivious smile takes over her face, “Wonderful darling. It’s always good to know something that will get you going at the drop of a hat.” Kara nods and swallows roughly. Lena removes the towel and Kara exhales loudly.

“Okay next, if you are comfortable you can lose your sweats, but if not I have another way, Im gonna have you bend your knees and plant your feet on the ground once you’ve decided.” Kara doesn’t want to think about it or she will chicken out, so she just wiggles out of her pants quickly. Lena’s jaw drops at each inch of muscular long leg revealed. “Grand. Thank you darling. Light check?”

“G-green.”

Lena nods and shuffles on her knees to be closer to the other woman’s legs. She places her hands on Kara’s bare knees and softly rubs her hands over them, “okay Darling I want you to tell me how this feels.” Lena slides her hands to the back of Kara’s knees and starts massaging slowly.

Kara groans, “feels good. Not so much sexy but definitely good. Like when you scratch your back and move your hand to far but then realize you found another really good itch spot. Or stretching a muscle you didn’t know you had.”

Lena chuckles, “You have a way with words.”

Kara snorts, “Thanks.”

Lena moves her hands upwards to the backs of Kara’s thighs and does the same motion.

“Oh way different. Much much more sexy. Like its the implication of it I guess? Feels very nice. Like I’m being teased.”

“You like being teased, darling?” Lena quirks a brow and smirks.

Kara opens and closes her mouth, “I-i don’t think I have ever realized it till this exact moment, but yes apparently I do.” _Fuck me. Her hands are magical._

Lena smiles and takes her hands away. She records the notes and then places her hands back on the Kara’s knees. She straightens Kara’s legs back out and widens them a little. She places her hands on Kara’s hips and moves to kneel astride her for better leverage. Kara feels the movement and trembles when she feels Lena’s knees graze her outer thighs. _Oh Rao What I wouldn’t give to have my eyes open right now._

Lena’s rests her thumbs on the junction of Kara’s upper thighs and hips. There she slowly moves her fingers back and forth and in circles, it pulls a vulgar moan from Kara.

Kara’s eyebrows raise and she flushes. “That’s good. Soothing but also very explicit. Feels like a step between sex and foreplay. Or an intermission at a broadway show. Makes my body buzz.”

Lena can barely hold it together, “good. That’s good. Very good. Good metaphor.”

“Was it, I don’t know good?”

Lena swats at Kara’s thigh, “be good.” _Oh fuck I can’t believe I just let that slip! It’s just a knee jerk reaction._

Kara blushes and doesn’t even hesitate to offer up a quiet, “Yes ma’am.”

_Interesting._

She next leans over her arms to apply a little more body weight to Kara’s hips and digs her hands into the muscular hips below her, another unbridled moan is produced from Kara’s hips. “Imagine this is her sitting on your lap, or holding you down. If that’s even possible.”

Kara lets out a ragged breath and hums, “yeah I like that. Even though I could easily stand, the idea of being immobilized is intriguing. The weight feels soothing yet um sexy.”

Lena feels a devious smile race up her features and then moves to write everything down. Once done she places her hands back to Kara’s hips and pats them, “Okay roll over to prone position for me. Only one more spot.”

Kara inwardly pouts but does as she’s asked. _I think I would literally do anything she wanted. No questions asked._

“Okay darling this next one is probably gonna be the weirdest coming from me so uh just keep that person in mind.”

 _Oh fuck I forgot I was supposed to be doing that._ Kara waits patiently. She feels Lena’s hands massage her shoulders, Kara groans. She slurs out, “feels so good.”

“This isn’t the zone darling, just trying to warm you up before I move to it.”

Kara’s brows furrows but then she gasps as Lena’s hands begin a slow trek down her back, nails lightly dragging. Lena moves to reach under Kara’s sports bra and she tenses. Noticing the change from relaxed to rigid, Lena’s hands halt, “lights?”

“Uh red. Just for a second.”

Lena takes her hands away in concern. Kara opens her eyes and turns her head towards the raven haired beauty. She sees Lena's eyes full of worry and notices her tense shoulders. She feels embarrassed and doesn’t quite know how to say what she needs to say. So instead she decides to just show.

_I trust her._

Kara sits up and turns her back to the doctor. Lena’s confusion becomes apparent on her face and she’s about to ask what is wrong and to apologize if she crossed and line when Kara begins taking off her sports bra.

_What is she doin- oh._

Under the the center strap of the bra lays two columns of puckered marks varying in severity of color, some are red, some have lost pigmentation all together. Kara’s head has dropped and her shoulders risen to her ears. The silence stretches and when she feels its been too long, Kara moves to redress but then she feels a hand on her should stopping her. She hears rustling and then feels Lena move closer. Her bent knees now bracketing Kara’s hips, “May I?” Kara knows what she’s asking and tears well up in her eyes because nobody has ever touched them. She just nods as to not allow her voice to betray her.

Lena reaches out lightly and runs her fingers along the tanned spine in front of her. Her heart breaks when she finishes counting all 32 little angry lines. She doesn’t know what to say. So she decides to just show. She rests her forehead in the center of Kara’s back and hears her let an anguished sob out. Lena wraps her arms around the Kryptonian’s waist and shuffles herself so that there is no longer any space in between them. She just holds her as the hero cries. Hoping that she is helping.

After a long while, after the sniffles in front of her have slowed, she lifts her head and rests her chin on a tanned, freckled, naked shoulder. “I’m sorry darling.”

Kara shakes her head. Lena sighs, amiss of what to do. So Lena does what she always tries to do and tells the truth.

“You are beautiful and these scars may have an ugly and sordid conception but they are apart of you. So by extension, they too become beautiful.” She lifts one a hand and touches the bottom twelve scars, the ones that are obviously most recent, “You may think they are wretched reminders of the past but these, to me at least, remind me of your emotional strength. I can tell these ones are the deepest. The most expressive of them. They tell a story with their varying shades. The anger and guilt, the shame.” Her fingers move to the next ten, “But as my eyes pan up I see your fortitude in the face of adversity, the fight you have in you, become more apparent. The lighter pink pigment shows me hope for a better future…” Her hand moves upwards slowly to the final depigmented 10 at the top of her back, clearly the oldest ones, “A future where all your scars heal. A future where the anger, guilt, and shame wash away, just like how the angry red color faded from these. A future where you don’t feel the need to hurt and punish yourself. A future where you realize you are the light of everyone’s life near you. A light so bright, it blinds bystanders.” Lena exhales and grabs Kara’s hands from where they rest on her face. She holds them and whispers, “You’re going to be okay. You are strong. You are resilient. And I am so so so incredibly proud of you for your willingness to move forward. I am in constant awe who you are. And I am so deeply touched that you have shared something, that is so obviously painful for you, with me, Thank you.”

Kara nods through tears and turns quickly to tackle Lena into a hug. She feels Lena wrap her arms around her and run her fingers through her hair. She rocks them gently side to side and Kara exhales shakily into Lena’s neck, “I’m sorry.”

Lena pulls back to look into her eyes, “What ever for darling?”

Kara breathes in and out slowly, “I-i don’t know. Maybe derailing the activity.”

Lena lightly smiles, “Then you ought to stop apologizing. There is nothing to be sorry for. This takes precedent over touching your butt, I promise. That was the last zone by the way.”

Kara flushes as she bites her lips and laughs wetly, “Thank you. For comforting me.”

“Of course. Why don’t you get dressed and we can decompress for the evening, okay?”

“Can we just keep hugging first for a little bit?” Kara asks nervously.

Lena smiles, “I will never turn down a solid hug.”

Kara’s bottom lip wobbles and she thanks her once again before burying herself into Lena’s embrace.

_I am falling so hard for this woman._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooof y'all next chapter some serious secrets will be revealed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some revelations, some secrets. this came to me in a literal fever dream and when I woke up I gasped like I was in a telenovela.

LENA

It’s been a hell of a week. Since her appointment with Kara she’s felt distracted. She finds herself thinking back to Kara’s vulnerability, her candor, her bravery, her insufferable good looks. Lena decides that she is entirely infatuated with the kryptonian. She has a reoccurring conversation through out the week with Sam about her feelings, her best friend is supportive per usual, whispering encouragement in her ear, holding her and kissing her head. Lena isn’t sure what she would do without Sam, she never wants to find out. This Friday night finds her curled up on the couch with bug, Althea perched on her lap purring softly. Sam is not far, she’s laid out on the couch next to Colin, her head resting on his tiny legs as he plays with her hair. Ruby is on the floor with a pillow reading, uninterested in the horrible rom com Sam has chosen. The sight makes her heart sing.

_I love them all so much. I don’t know how this could get any better._

Out of seemingly nowhere, Colin breaks through the silence, “How come I don’t have a daddy?”

Lena startles at the question. _Oh man. I’ve had upwards of 7 years to prepare for this moment and I am still not fucking ready._ She shoos Althea off her lap and turns her body entirely to face him. Sam has sat up as well and Ruby has dropped her book slightly to see how Lena will handle this.

“What brought this on, Darling?” She gnaws on her lip.

He points at the TV to see the couple in the film holding their newborn baby, “I was just wondering cause those two made a baby, but I don’t have a daddy so how was I made…” Lena follows his gesture and inhales slowly.

“Are you asking how babies in general are made or how you were made specifically?” He nods. _Oh fuck me, so both. alright._

Lena prides herself on the fact that she doesn’t shield Colin from things or bullshit him when its unnecessary so she reaches for the remote and pauses it, “Ok darling, I am gonna be real with you for a second, you’re a big boy and can choose how this plays out.” Colin head bobs. “Would you like the short **_fun_** kid friendly explanation or the long **_boring_** grown up explanation?”

“Um I am a big boy so I would like the long one please.” Lena deflates slightly hoping his choice was different, Sam smiles and Ruby chuckles at her valiant effort to deter the youngster.

“Okay let me go grab some stuff, I will be right back.” Once she’s made it to her office she tries to control her breathing. _I mean what the fuck he’s only 6. He should not be worried about this right now._ _I mean he is definitely my kid, I couldn’t stop him from being curious if I tried._ Lena lifts a hand to her forehead and looks around for her small white board. She drags her hand down her face and whines at the predicament she’s found herself in. _Thats it, rom coms? canceled. banned. Never again. We are now strictly a Disney movie household._ Once she finds what she is looking for she reenters the living room to see that Sam has grabbed the popcorn and Ruby has sat up entirely. “You lot come to enjoy the show, then?”

They giggle and Lena sighs. She takes a seat next to Colin and begins drawing on the white board. Once she is done she takes a breath and begins, “Okay bug. This is a female sex organ. Not every female has one but most do.. Sometimes people are born with different parts than the gender they present as, but this is besides the point right now.” She rubs her eyebrow and readjusts. “So whomever has this organ, um once a month, their eggs that live in these circles here, called the ovaries, travel down these tube like arches. During these couple days if someone with” she clears her throat, “A penis. You know what that is right?” He nods his head, “right good. So if a penis gives the eggs um nutrients?” She looks to Sam for help who shakes her head fighting back laughter. “Yes nutrients works, um, if it gives the egg nutrients, the egg becomes fertilized and continues its adventure to this part.” She points to the uterus. “Here is where a baby grows. Then presto blamo a baby is born around 9 months later.” She looks up at him and his wide eyes. “Do you understand?”

He squirms, “Uh sort of. But not really.”

She racks her minds to find a suitable metaphor. Lena snaps her fingers, “Ah ha! Okay do you remember when you and I planted the garden?” He nods. “Right and you buried a seed in the ground? Then what did we do?”

“Oh! We gave it water everyday and it grew!” He smiles triumphantly but then whispers, “Wait so does the penis have to give the uterus water everyday?”

Lena chokes and two on lookers cackle.

_Man I am really fucking this up._

Colin furrows his brows. “Uh not exactly darling, it’s more of a one and done thing. Essentially um the penis gives the nutrients yes. But the person growing the baby inside them is the one who sustains the baby’s life.”

His eyes widen, “THIS ALL HAPPENS INSIDE US?”

_Oh for fucks sake. I missed that part didn’t I?_

“Yeah baby. The baby grows inside the person’s tummy, remember how the woman’s stomach was big in the movie?” His eyes widen. 

“I thought she just had a big lunch!” At that they all chuckle. “So wait I was in your tummy?!” Lena’s heart stutters and she glances at Sam’s now pale face. Ruby averts her eyes.

_fuck._

“Uh that’s the other thing bug. You weren’t in my tummy… Momma was under a lot of stress when I decided to have you and my body wouldn’t allow it..” She exhales. “Do you remember when we took a graft of the birch tree and transplanted it onto the unhealthy tree, so it would grow?” He nods. “That is essentially what mommy did but in reverse. I went to the doctor and he did some doctor things, he took one of my eggs, fertilized it with some nutrients and then put the egg into another, healthier uterus for you to grow.” She waits for a bated breath and chances another glance a Sam who is worrying her lip.

“So.. You aren’t my mommy?” His lip trembles. She immediately drops the board and pulls him into her arms.

_Fuck fuck fuck. Wonderful job, Kieran, wonderful._

“Darling I am for sure your Mommy, I just needed some help growing you. You are made of me. I promise, bug.”

“So do I have two mommies then and still no daddy?”

_Oh gosh this is not what I needed tonight._

“No darling just one mommy, no daddy, we got the, um, nutrients for you from a man but that is all he did.” She hears Ruby scoff. She looks up at the teen with a raised brow. Sam breaks in, “Ruby Arias, what was that all about.” Ruby shakes her head.

“This is ridiculous.”

“Ruby!” Lena is shocked at the out burst.

Ruby stands and waves off her mother’s incoming scold. “No just wait.” She takes a breath and looks at Colin, “Hey bug why don’t you go to my room and I’ll let you play my playstation. I have to talk to them about some grown up things.”

Colin pouts and is ready to rebuttal when Lena clears her throat, “She’s right Colin, why don’t you run along and I will come and get you when we are done. I promise I will answer your questions.” He pouts more but gets up reluctantly.

Once he is out of sight the two older women turn their sights on the fuming teen.

Sam starts off stern, “I don’t know what this is all about Ruby, but it is unacceptable.” The teen scoffs again.

“I am seriously feeling disresp-“ Lena’s starts but gets cut off.

“You’re feeling disrespected?! You just flat out lied to him!”

“And you are accusing me of lying why? It better be a damn good reason.” Sam nods in support.

“THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. How long are we going to keep this up.” Ruby gestures around the room.

“I haven’t the slightest clue what you are talking about young lady.” Sam seethes out.

Ruby grits her teeth and points at Lena and then Sam, “Two grown ass women decide, consciously, to have a child together! Mom, you carried him! You sustained his life! He deserves to know that! You birthed him and we never talked about it again. And that’s not even all!” Ruby wrings her hands and Lena takes a breath to speak but the young girl continues before she can. “I know I was only ten but I was there! I heard you and your hushed conversations. I know for a fact you both tracked my dead beat father down and paid him for his sperm. Why? I have no fucking clue!” Both women inhale sharply. “So not only have you been lying to him but you have been lying to me. He is my brother for fucks sake!”Lena’s eyes glaze over and sheer agony engulfs her body as she looks on at the distraught teen.

“Rub-“ She’s cut off once again. She can’t find it in herself to assert herself into the conversation any longer.

_What have I done._

“NO! You don’t get to talk your way out of this.” Ruby sighs and tears are streaming down her cheeks. She grabs her shocked mother’s hand and drags her to sit next to Lena. Lena immediately latches on to Sam’s hand. Ruby sits on the coffee table in front of them. She directs her stare at Lena. “Auntie” She shakes her head. “No. Mom.” Lena quietly gasps and grasps Sam’s hand tighter.

_Mom._ Tears begin their trek down her face.

“We have had this conversation multiple times but I really need you to _hear_ me this time.” Lena shakily nods biting her lips, staring into Ruby’s sad eyes. “You are not just a mother _figure_ to me. Just as she” She points to Sam who has started crying softly, “is not just a mother _figure_ to Colin. You are my other mom. You sign my permission slips. You literally stitch me up when I get hurt. You hold me when I am crying. You provide for me. You love me unconditionally.” She waves her arms around. Lena winces at the verbal lashing they are receiving but knows that she deserves it wholly. “SO for you to sit there and lie to him, saying he has just one mother is fucking ridiculous.”

Ruby continues on it outrage, “You two have been dancing around this as long as I can remember, and it's not fair for us. It’s not. Colin deserves BOTH of his mothers. And so do I. So you need to drop the fucking act.” Both women are sitting in shock, lost for words.

Ruby sighs, “I am sorry about the abrasiveness of this all but I am serious and I am tired. Shit or get off the pot. I can’t let you lie to him like you have been to me, hell you’ve been lying to yourselves! You two are in love and have two kids. Get over your fears of whatever the fuck it is.” The women tense at the mention of their relationship being aired out so openly.

The teen shakes her head and rushes out, “Do you even know? Do you know that he calls her mom when we are alone? Do you know that I refer to you as mom to all my friends? You both need to fucking figure this out because I can’t deal with the false hope every time me and Bug walk in a room and see you pull away from each other quickly, you’re not as slick as you think you are. He asks me questions I don’t have the answers for because you two would rather sneak around and fuck behind closed doors than just get your heads out of your asses and address this for what it is. I am so disappointed, over and over again. My brother deserves better, he shouldn’t have to grow up feeling like I have for the last 10 years. I love you both so much and no matter what, you are both my moms but this is getting out of hand.” She stands abruptly wiping her tears. “I am going to go sit with him. I won’t say a word, I think it should come from you two, if you have the guts.” Ruby exits quickly, shaking her head.

“i-i” Lena bursts out in heavy sobs and Sam immediately encircles the younger woman in her arms.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s gonna be fine.” Lena shakes her head, chest heaving.

“What the fuck were we thinking.”

The taller woman lets out a shaky breath, “We were thinking that we are each other’s best friend. That we knew we would do anything for each other. We were thinking that Colin deserved another living blood relative beside You, Lilian, and fucking Lex.”They cry together, commiserate in their shortcomings as parents.

“We have been hurting them, Sam. How were we so blind to that?”

“I know, Lee. I am sorry. We should’ve figured this out much sooner.” Sam wipes Lena’s tears and kisses her forehead. “We just got parented by a 16 year old.”

Lena lets out a sad laugh and wipes her own snot away. “We did.” They both breathe heavily. “She was right.”

Sam nods. “I’m scared.”

“We can be scared together?” Lena offers.

Sam nods through her tears and throws herself back into Lena’s embrace, inhaling her calming scent. “Is it true?”

Lena pulls back and her brows scrunch together, “Is what true darling?”

“Are you in love with me?”

Lena’s jaw drops. She stares at the beautiful woman in front her and Lena realizes that she has been falling short, letting not only her kids down, but her best friend. “Sam. Baby, Yes.”

“Wh-why haven’t you told me?”

“Darling.. I- we tell each other constantly that we love each other.”

Sam shakes her head, “It’s not the same.”

Lena breathes exasperatedly, “Sam, there is a reason why I haven’t been with anyone since you gave birth to Colin. When you brought him into this world, everything changed. The only things that matter to me are you three.” She sighs and rubs her eyes, “I meant it when I said that I wouldn’t want this any other way. I genuinely thought you knew.”

She caresses Sam’s cheek and leans in the give her a sweet kiss, “Baby we are together in every way but in name. I thought we were both aware. I thought we were both just too scared to figure it out, and I wasn’t gonna miss out on having you any way I could.”

“I-i didn’t know.” Sam shakes her head rapidly, “I thought you didn’t want this, Lee. That the reason we weren’t happening was because I was just a good fuck and a good friend, nothing more. God dammit Lena! I have been in love with you for a fucking decade!”

Lena looks at her in astonishment, her heart shatters, “Sammy… You are so much more than just a good fuck to me. I share my life with you. You are everything, darling. I am so sorry for letting you believe for a second that your love wasn’t returned.”

Sam just shakes her head and pulls Lena closer, “It’s not all your fault. We have obviously had a massive break down in communication from both sides. We’ve made these mistakes together. I am sorry too.”

“What are we going to do?” Lena hiccups out.

“Maybe we should take Ruby’s advice. Come clean with Colin. Ya know, shit or get off the pot.”

Lena grimaces, “I cannot believe she said that, I mean totally on the nose but seriously. Where did she get such colorful language?”

Sam gives her a pointed look.

_She’s so beautiful, how have I fucked this up so much._

“I’m so sorry. God, I love you.” Lena hangs her head in embarrassment and shame.

Sam lifts her chin and gives her a kiss and sighs into her lips, “It feels so good to hear that and know you mean it the way I do.”

Lena nods and rests her forehead against Sam’s. “We have to go talk to them soon or I’ll back out.”

“Always so self aware.” Sam sighs and clears her throat, “Alright. We can go and spill the beans, we can lean on each other for strength. But we need to continue this conversation tonight, okay?”

Lena nods. She stands shakily and offers an unsteady hand to Sam. The women take a breath and head upstairs towards Ruby’s room, hands still tightly bound. When they arrive at the open door they see the two of them on the floor, playing a video game. Sam leans on the doorjamb in front of her and Lena rests her chin on her shoulder, her hand clenched in the back of the taller woman’s shirt in worry for what is to come. Colin is sat between Ruby’s legs helping her push buttons and laughing wildly. They both look up to find their moms smiling sadly, looking well chastised. When Colin notices their red blotchy cheeks and red rimmed eyes his eyes narrow in thought. He gets up and walks over to them. He gestures for Sam to pick him up and he puts a hand on both of their cheeks, “Why are you sad? Don’t cry please.”

Lena smiles and leans in to his little palm, Sam gives him a kiss on the head while a couple more tears escape her eyes at the gesture.

Lena clears her throat as she brings her hand up to Colin’s. “We have some things we have to talk to you about, bug.” Lena slides her gaze over at Ruby to see her staring back sadly. Sam moves to sit on the ground next to Ruby as does Lena. Lena throws an arm around the young girl and whispers in her ear, “I love you. We obviously needed that, thank you.”

Ruby sniffles and cuddles closer and whispers back, “You’re welcome, mom. I am sorry for my language.” Lena just rubs soothing circles on her back and kisses her on the head.

“So bug, your mom and I, we wanted to tell you some things that we haven’t been honest about.” Colin makes a face and pulls away slightly,“You asked your momma earlier if you had two mommies she said no..The truth is, yes.” Lena feels Ruby exhale is relief at the truth leaving her mother’s kips. The teen sinks further into her arms.

“Darling, when I needed some help growing you, your auntie stepped up to help and grew you in her tummy.” Colin’s eyes widen and he softly touches Sam’s stomach.

He looks up with glassy eyes, “S-so you are my other mommy.” Sam nods and smiles through her tears.

Colin’s face brightens and he whips his head to Lena for confirmation, “it’s true, bug. She’s your other mommy, I am so sorry that we kept it from you. We thought we knew what we were doing, but turns out sometimes adults make mistakes too.”

The three women are shocked to hear his giggle, “are you kidding me? THIS IS THE BEST NEWS I EVER HEARD!” He throws his arms around Sam’s neck and squeezes her tightly, “Does this mean I still have to call you auntie?”

“You can call me whatever you want to honey. I am just happy that you aren’t mad at us. We love you so much, so does your sister.”

“Sister?” He looks to Ruby who smiles.

“Yes, darling. We used the same nutrients that Ruby was made from, to make you. So you are siblings.”

“Oh my gosh this just keeps getting better. Ruby! I’m your brother!!” Ruby lets out a wet laugh, and grins at the joy on his face.

Sam looks to her daughter with a serious expression, “Rubes.. We are so incredibly sorry that our actions have caused you this confusion and pain. We never wanted you to suffer. It was horribly wrong of us.”

Ruby blindly reaches behind over and clasps her hand with her mom’s. “I know mom, I forgive you both.” The little family stays huddled on the ground for hours to come, the mothers tearily answering any and all questions thrown at them.

Later in that night when both of their kids are down for the count, they decide to hash out the rest of their earlier conversation.

“Lee, we need to get everything out in the open. I don’t wan’t any uncertainties lurking in the dark.” Sam sighs and her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena’s lower back. She shivers at the touch.

They’re both laying in bed, on their sides facing each other cloaked in darkness and blankets. She thought it might be a good idea to block out the airiness of her large room and speak to each other like this. That it might be beneficial to allow each other to say what they needed without fear of being judged or harping on each other’s physical reactions. Sam had giggled but agreed whole heartedly that it would be more intimate, less room for their blunt admissions to float about the room. “You’re right. Where should we start?”

“What does this mean? Are we together now?” Sam shakily inquires, the nerves is her cadence peeking through.

_Oh darling._

Lena smiles and because of their close proximity she feels Sam worrying her lip in anticipation against her face. She reaches up and tugs the lip loose and then rubs her thumb over it lovingly, “I thought that much was clear. Yes, I want to be with you. Always.”

_You can do better than that Kieran._

Lena then smiles as an idea pops in her head, she rights herself and clears her throat, “hold on, let me retry this?” She can feel Sam nod in the affirmative, her nose brushing against Lena’s softly. “Darling, love of my life, mother of _our_ children, will you please go steady with me?”

Sam playfully bats at her, laughing, “I don’t know, do I get to wear your letterman jacket?”

Lena rolls her eyes chuckling but nods, “I’d give you anything you want Samantha, you already know that.”

The taller woman releases a breath in relief, “I love you so much. And I would very much like to be yours officially.”

Lena hums happily and leans in to give Sam a passionate kiss that leaves both women breathless.

_I am so fucking lucky._

Sam is back to caressing her back and smiling into her cheek at the show of affection. Lena decides she can’t wait any longer on her biggest and sole confession, “If we are being serious, I want to adopt Ruby officially and I want you to do the same for Bug.”

Sam’s hands stop and Lena hears her quiet intake of breath. _God I’m nervous, why am I nervous._ The silence is broken by a quiet sniffle and immediately Lena thinks she’s done something wrong, she begins apologizing but is cut off by Sam’s smiling lips meeting hers in a messy kiss and the taller woman’s hands cradling her cheeks.

“Baby no, I am not upset. I just, I-. That is all I’ve wanted for a very long time.” Elations takes over Lena’s features and she rushes to places kisses on every inch of Sam’s face. The woman giggles in response. “We can start paperwork as soon as possible. I’ll call Jess tomorrow to print up the applications.”

_God I love her so much. This feels amazing._

“I can’t wait to tell the kids.” She nods in agreement.

They relax once again into silence, just trading soft kisses while the happiness spills out of them, hands roaming greedily in new found confidence. Eventually Sam breaks the silence with a question that Lena was far from expecting at the moment, “So what are we going to do about Kara?”

Blush creeps up Lena’s neck at the thought of her. Her first instinct is to oust the fire with her words, “You’re all I need, darling. You can trust that I’ll be faithful to you.”

Sam’s lack of words speaks loud. Lena can feel the pulse thundering under her hand that rests on Sam’s neck, “What’s wrong?”

Sam sighs, “Lee.. I know you could be happy with me, content with it being just us, but you are falling for this woman.” Lena rears up to deny but Sam beats her to the punch, “Don’t lie to me please. You have feelings for her.. and if I am being honest I am incredibly attracted to her as well.”

Lena blows out a breath and her eyebrows rise in surprise, “I mean I know we’ve jokingly talked about it but Sam.. I don’t see how us pursuing Kara could work out if we want to be in a monogamous relationship, lest we not forget that she is my client.”

Sam buries her face into Lena’s neck and grumbles, “fuck the traditional rules society sets Lee, we can choose what a relationship means to us. I know you understand polyamory, your brain is much to powerful not to.”

“That still doesn’t change the fact that she is my client.” Lena feels Sam bite her neck to show her displeasure. “Okay ow. Let’s use our words.”

Sam pulls away from her neck, “I just- I don’t know what it is but I feel like I am drawn to her, the same way I am drawn to you. I don’t want to fight that and I don’t want you to either. Of course our life is fulfilling but we both know that this could add to it in ways we couldn’t possibly dream up. There has to a reason she keeps popping up unexpectedly in our path. She’s perfect for us, Lee.”

Cautiously Lena tries, “Darling, you’ve met her twice.” It feels like a mistake as soon as the words leave her lips.

_Ah fuck. That is NOThow I wanted that to come out._

Sam tenses, “Don’t do that. Don’t belittle my feelings.” She can feel Sam take a breath to dull the sharp edge in her voice, “The second night we met I told you that you were going to be in my life forever. You didn’t question my confidence then, so why start now?”

Lena sighs. “You’re right, I apologize.” She knows it’s the truth, and echos Sam’s earlier words, “I’m scared.”

Sam body falls more languid at the admission, she pulls Lena’s body closer and kisses her temple, “we can be scared together?”

Lena kisses her in confirmation, “always.”

“So how do we do this then?”

Lena throws the blankets off them, effectively bursting their bubble, flips the lights on and sits up. Sam is staring up at her in confusion with a pout.

_God those lips._

“Well I think you should make a move.” She states matter of factly.

“I’m sorry what? Why me!” Sam’s brows pull together in shock, her eyes flutter and she purses her lips.

Lena reminds her gently, “Darling, need I remind you that you are the one who isn’t bound by contracts right now?”

“Bu-but we are supposed to do this together that’s the whole point! How am I going to do it alone?”

Lena grabs her chin a jokes softly, “Your game might be rusty but I believe in you, you got this.”

“That is so out of pocket, Lee!” Sam tackles her and tickles her breathless. “I’ll show you game!”

Lena yields quickly and wraps her arms around Sam’s shoulders, pulling her close and kissing her on the nose, “Sam, really.” Lena tucked a loose strand behind her ear and lets her thumb slide back and forth across her cheekbone, "I think if we really want this, you need to put yourself out there. I simply cannot at this point in time. Or if you really don’t want to pursue her without me at first, we can wait patiently until I am allowed to.”

Sam sounds off with a scoff, “And what happens when we begin a relationship, huh? Isn’t that going to make it awkward for you?”

Lena shrugs, “I don’t see why it would. Besides we don't even know if she will be interested.”

_Lies. I mean c’mon, it's Sam, of course Kara will be interested and of course I am going to have serious FOMO._

Incredulously, “And do I tell her that me and you are dating as well?” Sam still can’t believe what she’s hearing, that much is apparent on her face.

“Of course, she deserves to know. I think we’ve learned from earlier tonight that honesty is the best policy from the get go.”

Her girlfriend drops her head into Lena’s chest and groans.

“Kara is improving rapidly, she might not even need me for nearly as long as other clients. It wouldn’t be so bad, darling.”

Sam nods in resignation, “God you owe me so big. You really do. If I am doing all the heavy lifting in the beginning of our poly relationship endeavor, the least you could do is take me out on the town tomorrow night. We can ask Lillian to come watch Colin, Rubes has plans.”

Lena smirks and puts her index finger to her own chin, “hmm let me think about it…” Sam begins tickling her once more and through her rowdy laughter Lena gets out a frantic, “Darling, of course I will! I was joking!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it was important to highlight the lengths in which Lena and Sam go for each other and love each other. Also felt like Ruby deserved more of a personality, also I like the drama. 🤷♀️


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo dialogue between more than two people is fucking hard and confusing.

KARA

Kara is looking in the mirror with a firm glower. She turns and gestures to herself, “Is all this really necessary?”

Alex frowns and throws a pillow at her from her bed in annoyance, “Yeah dude I told you, its an exclusive joint! We gotta dress to impress. Only the best for my little baby gay.”

Kara shakes her head and fidgets with her hands nervously, “I can’t believe I am letting you take me to a strip club.”

Alex rebuttals, “Hey, not a strip club. We have been over this. It’s an upscale, women’s only, burlesque club! Besides there isn’t just performers, there’s a bar and conversation pits, a rooftop situation if you need to catch some air. Nia even said they sell alien booze on the down low, all you have to do is ask about the early bird special. Would it make you feel better to read the yelp reviews again?”

Kara rolls her eyes and laughs, “Kitty’s Titties just doesn’t sound like the name of a place all that upscale, Alex.”

Alex shrugs, “I think it’s cute. Plus I think it’s affectionately known as just Kitty’s. All the high rollers go there and I worked very hard to get us on the list.”

Kara raises a brow, amused at her sister, “You mean Nia worked hard to get us in.”

Alex guffaws and crosses her arms but then reluctantly nods, “I can’t believe she’s backing out, it’s your big debut.” She pouts.

“What is this my bat mitzvah?”

Alex chuckles, “Yeah, we were gonna lift you up in a bar stool and everything.”

Kara titters and turns to continue looking at herself in the mirror. Is she nervous about the prospect of half naked women? Sure, but Kara knows that her reservations are more so self sabotage than wariness of the club. The duo went shopping earlier and the blonde had bought some things that she really liked. But the confidence she had in the dressing room has diminished something fierce since coming home.

Alex notices her hyper-analyzing herself and cuts in, “Kar, you look great. The ladies are going to love it. And if you don’t believe ask the woman who took your measurements earlier, she seemed to agree with that sentiment.”

At the reminder of the older woman with her tape measure, Kara laughs, “Ain’t that the truth. Her hand placement was dangerously close to being indecent.”

Alex dryly responds, “Laugh it up chuckles, but she was hot. And you didn’t seem to mind her attention all that much, if my memory serves me correctly.”

“Al, she was like 55.” Kara blushes, not in the slightest denying it.

Alex cackles, “Kar, you’re closer to 55 than you are 25 if we are being technical.”

Kara jokingly acts affronted and tosses the pillow that was at her feet, back at Alex, who is in hysterics. “You think you are so funny.”

She twists back to check the fit of the high waisted, windowpane patterned pants. They are snug around her muscular thighs and accentuate her ass wonderfully. They taper at the bottom and stop just above her ankles. For the top, the clerk that helped Kara found this ridiculous black lace, cropped tank top that left a sliver of her stomach slightly exposed, among other things. Originally Kara vehemently shook her head at the idea of her shoulders and cleavage on display, and not to mention the scars on her back. But once she tried it on with the black pants she couldn’t deny that it went really well. Her gaze drops to the beautiful 6 inch heels she splurged on, she smiles.

_Okay maybe I do look good._

She turns to her sister with a smirk, “Okay, I am ready. Let’s leave before my second wind of confidence disappears.”

Alex groans and rolls off the bed, “Fucking finally.” The sisters make their way out of Kara’s apartment and down the stairs, “We can walk, it’s only 10 minutes from here.”

Kara raises her eyebrows at that, “Convenient. But also odd that they are on the rent controlled side of town, no?”

Alex laughs as they exit the building, “that’s gentrification babyyyy” She throws up some jazz hands.

Kara rolls her eyes, “Nice jazz hands. Very fitting for where we are headed.”

Alex scoffs and makes a show of holstering her hands as if they were weapons, “I could do some serious damage with these bad boys.”

Kara throws her head back, busting a gut, and nods, “Right, next time I’m in fisticuffs I’ll direct them your way instead then.”

When they arrive a bouncer checks their IDs and crosses their names off the list. As Kara enters the building she picks up a distant low thump of a jazz band and the idle blather of patrons. Once they’ve cleared the long dark hallway, a man sitting on a stool slides a secondary door open for them. Little by little, red/orange glow of mood lighting and the sound of brass instruments pour through the widening gap and Kara takes a deep breath.

_Here goes nothing I guess._

She’s tugged through the entry way by her sister and immediately feels herself relax at the laid back atmosphere.

_Huh. This is already much better than I thought it would be._

She turns her head to Alex and smiles.

“HA see.”

Kara rolls her eyes, “I’m gonna head to the bar and see if they really do carry any alien liquor, I’ll grab you something too. Find us a spot?”

Alex nods and trots off. As Kara walks to the bar she lets her eyes sweep over the place. The aesthetic is pleasing, very cabaret. There are no dancers as of yet, so the room is filled with chatter and laughter. She saddles up on a stool and the barkeep walks over, “What’ll it be?”

Kara nervously bites her lip, “The early bird special?”

The bartender’s eyes light up and then with no shame she looks Kara up and down, “Sure thing doll. Any preference?”

Kara blushes and ducks her head, “Uh no, anything works. Could I also get a scotch neat, whatever is top shelf.” The woman raises her eyebrows at Kara.

“You sure about that? It can get pretty expensive.”

Kara slides the metal AMEX out of her pocket and holds it up between two fingers, “Yeah, can you start a tab too, please? Under Kara.”

“With those manners and that card? Anytime.” The woman winks and grabs the card before moving away to rustle up Kara’s drinks. What the barkeep doesn’t know is that it’s only metal because after the 4th time she accidentally crushed a plastic one, the DEO specially made her one with Nth metal.

_The DEO pays well but not AMEX centurion card well._

While she’s waiting, Kara turns her head to watch the band in the far corner. She is tapping her fingers along to beat when she feels a presence slide next to her, eyes roaming over her body, and then she hears a familiar voice, “We gotta stop meeting like this.”

Kara smiles and turns, her cheeks color at the tight dress Sam is wearing and how it brings attention to all of her assets. She gulps and levels her stare, “That’s not really what you want though, right?”

_Where the fuck is this coming from Zor-el? Keep it up champ! WOOOOOO!_

Sam chuckles and lays a hand on Kara’s thigh smoothly, “I suppose not.” She smirks and slides her thumb back and forth. Kara’s body catches fire at the gesture and she subconsciously flexes her leg. Sam leers and raises a brow, “So what’s a place like you doing in a girl like this?”

Kara giggles, “That’s a good one, can I steal that?”

Sam shrugs and sets her wine glass down, “Hmm only if you promise to use it on me.”

_She flirt? With me? She flirt with me?_

Just then the barkeep returns with her order, “Here ya go sugar, take it easy on the alien hooch, its Maaldorian, those guys are serious about their drink.” She’s gone as soon as the words fall of her mouth and launch out into the atmosphere, swirling around her and Sam’s head. She hears Sam gasp in realization. Kara winces at being outed, she’s not angry but she sure does need to think quickly.

_Act cool. She doesn’t know you’re a Super, just say that you’re from a different race._

She turns with a timid smile, “So I’m an ali-“

Sam stutters out, “O-oh my god I can’t unsee it now. You’re her. Holy shit.”

_Ah fuck Alex is gonna kill meeeeeee._

Kara averts her gaze to find the nearest exit and pushes her glasses up her nose, “Uh.”

Sam squeezes her thigh sensing Kara’s panic, “Hey it’s okay. I am not going to tell anyone, I promise.”

Kara brings her stare back around to see the sincerity in Sam’s eyes. The kind chestnut eyes engulf her whole and she feels a sense of calm cover over them. She tunes into Sam’s heart to hear that it is steady and unyielding. _Shit fuck. Okay yeah. This is okay I can just get her to sign an NDA tomorrow._

Kara jokes, “Ta-da”

Sam beams back but then her eyebrows pull together, “Wait, does Lena know? God that woman is a steel trap for secrets.”

Kara nods shyly and blushes at the mention of her, “Listen, I am gonna have to have you sign an NDA, it’s protocol. I hope you understand.”

The brunette nods rapidly, “Of course.” Kara sighs in relief.

_Okay I can trust Sam. Lena trusts Sam with her kid. I trust Lena. This is okay. Get your game face back on._

An idea strikes, “So, with that, um, out of the way, would you like to join me and my sister?”

Sam blushes, “I-i” She looks around, Kara thinks she’s searching for someone, but finally, “Sure, I would love that.”

Kara smiles and grabs the small circular tray with drinks and Sam follows suit. The blonde listens for Alex’s heart beat and starts heading in that direction. Weaving through the tight spaces between tables and meandering bodies, Kara gathers the courage to offer a hand to Sam behind her. She hears a “fuck yes” whispered and then feels fingers intertwine with her own. She smiles victoriously, confidence growing by the second.

She finally finds her sister in a smaller conversation pit in the back corner under low lighting. She lets her hand slip from Sam’s as they approach. She giggles at the fact that Alex, too, has seemingly found a pretty girl to talk to. She steps down into the pit and turns to offer a hand to Sam again. She smiles, “How chivalrous, thank you.”

Kara nods and blushes, they take a seat opposite her sister on a long plush bench and set their drinks down. At the sound, Alex looks over and then does a double take. A smile spreads on her face and Kara waves her hand discretely across her neck as to say _Stop. Don’t even._ But alas, Alex opens her mouth with a simple, “Atta girl.” She then points to the drinks on the table and and mouths “Which one.” Kara points back to embarrassed to even acknowledge Alex’s comment. 

Kara just shakes her head while Sam chuckles and leans into her side, “Nice to see you again, Alex.”

Alex tilts her head and offers a smile, “And you, Sam.” Then she promptly returns her attention to the woman she is chatting with.

_Do the heavy lifting, my ass, Alex._

Kara sighs smiling. She tries to ride this pseudo-confidence as far as it allows. She settles an arm behind Samjust as lights through out the room dim slightly, and the loud chatter falls to hush conversations. Kara leans in slightly and whispers in Sam’s ear, “Sorry about her. She’s proud. It’s my first night out, out. I mean out being out. I mean-“

Sam chuckles and lays a hand on her thigh, “I get it honey, congratulations.”

Kara eyes her hand and then smiles big, “Thank you.”

Their attention is pulled back to the stage as a high hat starts thumping loudly soon joined by the rest of the band and a lone woman in a corset and fishnets, takes the stage. Kara hears Sam typing on her phone but is entranced by the performer.

_Rao she is a really good dancer and singer. I like her outfit too much._

Sam leans over, squeezes her thigh and murmurs, “Hey can you move down a bit more?”

Kara being distracted nods and goes through the motions after sending her a quick smile. She’s brought out of her daze when she notices someone come and sit next to the brunette. She turns to greet them quietly and instead gasps.

_Lena is here. Oh Rao. Oh boy._

Kara hears Sam whisper, “Is Colin alright?”

Lena replies nodding, “Yeah, Lillian just wanted to know if he is still having issues with lactose, I have a sneaking suspicion If we get home before he goes to bed, he will be hopped up of ice cream.” Sam chuckles and Lena grabs Sam’s chin and tilts the brunettes head towards her. She kisses Sam on the corner of her mouth and then her eyes drift over to Kara. She winks and she breathes out a quiet, “Hi, darling” while she simultaneously lays her hand over Kara’s that is resting behind Sam. She rubs her thumb over the inside of Kara’s wrist lightly and Kara’s hand twitches but her body releases its tension. _Oh Rao, she remembered_. Kara sees her mesmerizing green eyes drift down her body and then land on Sam’s hand. A sly smirk crosses her features and her eyes dart between the two. She winks once more and lets go of Kara’s hand before turning to the stage. Kara tries to return her attention but finds her self often glancing over at the two beautiful women she now finds herself in the company of. She takes time looking at both of them, appreciating Lena’s off the shoulder dress that affords her a view of her pale kissable neck and that one freckle that drives Kara nuts, she looks at Sam’s cute facial mannerisms as she watches the show, and so on.

_Oh man. It’s like Rao read my thoughts and sent me blessings. Both of them are so pretty._

As the first act comes to a close the women stand and start clapping, as does the rest of the room. Sam lets out a whistle and a cheer for the performer. Kara takes a gulp of her drink to calm her nerves. Loud chatter resumes during the intermission. Alex turns once more and does yet another double take. Kara inwardly sighs.

“Doc!”

Kara looks over and Lena laughs, “Hi, Alex. Nice to see you again.”

“You too! Oh man both of you? What a treat.” Kara smiles and nods in agreeance but still can’t seem to find her words.

_Talking is so much easier when it’s just one pretty lady. Why Rao, Why?_

Lena hums out happily and points her thumb over at Sam, “I promised this one a date night.”

_Wait what? But Sam was definitely flirting with me, right? Oh no._

Kara tenses and she eyes Sam’s hand on her thigh. Feeling awfully guilty.

_Well maybe she is just a touchy person?_

Alex tracks Kara’s look of discouragement at the mention of them dating, so with a smile she offers up, “Oh I didn’t know you two are dating.” In hopes for a misunderstanding.

Sam smiles back giddily, “Oh yeah, she can’t get enough of me.” _I can’t blame her really._

Lena snorts and nudges her with a shoulder, “You wish.” Lena stays leaning into Sam so Kara’s hand now brushes lightly over both women. Lena shivers and exhales then smiles directly at Kara with a knowing look, “We are actually polyamorous.”

_Oh. OH. WAIT._

Kara’s eyes widen as she smiles.

Alex cuts back in, Kara notices out the corner of her eye that the woman she was talking to is gone now, “Wow, that’s amazing. Kara was just telling me the other day about her interest in polyamory.”

_What the fuck? No I wasn’t? I mean I am not against it but what the fuck?_

Kara whips her head around from the two women smiling at her, and shoots a confused look at her sister. Alex whispers out, lips barely moving, “Just go with it, dummy.” Kara smiles and clears her throat before turning to the women on her left and nodding.

Sam’s hand caresses Kara’s thigh, “Well if you ever have any questions, I’m sure either one of us could help you out.” She winks and Kara dies slightly.

Kara blushes and ducks her head, “T-thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I’m gonna go get another drink, anybody need one?” Kara holds up her still full tumbler and shakes her head at Alex. Sam and Lena both say no thank you.

“Okay, be back in a bit.”

Before she can get to far Kara calls her name out. Alex turns inquisitively, “I have a tab running, it's under my name.”

Her sister smiles and gives Kara a thumbs up, then turns on a heel.

Comfortable silence blankets over them until Sam’s voice emerges shyly, “So is that safe for humans to ingest?” She nods at Kara’s drink and smiles.

Lena gasps and Kara already knows why panic has suddenly taken over her face. She can hear her heart stutter.

Kara’s eyes meet Lena’s, she smiles reassuringly, “It’s okay, Lee. I know you didn’t tell her, I trust you. The bartender outed me accidentally when she brought me my drink.” Lena sighs in relief. “I just need to get Sam a NDA to sign and we are golden.” Lena smiles finally and nods.

_Gosh that smile._

Kara eyes shift back to Sam and she chuckles, “and no, humans should not ingest this. The barkeep was right, very strong stuff. A sip could probably knock you on your ass, possibly hospitalize you.” She sees defiance glint through Sam’s pretty eyes and Kara fights the urge to let her do as she pleases. _Oh boy. I think I might do just about anything either one of them wants me to do._

Lena drawls out, “Oh god, don’t say it like that darling, she is going to take it as a challenge.”

Sam cackles, “Now wait a damn minute, you like that I never back down from a challenge.”

“Not when it ends with you at the ER, baby.” Lena pats Sam’s cheek and smirks.

Sam huffs, “That was one time and honestly, it should’ve worked.”

Lena rolls her eyes in good nature, “Sam, I promise I have complete and utter faith that you totally could have beat Jack at shotgunning a beer… IF you hadn’t accidentally stabbed yourself first.”

Kara’s laughs at that. She finds herself smiling, just enjoying their back and forth. She doesn’t even realize when she speaks out, “Your bickering is so cute, how is that possible?” As soon as it leaves her mouth she flushes and averts her eyes.

Lena laughs, “Thank you, darling. It takes a lot of practice to not want to wring her neck. I have supreme self control.” The raven hair woman tosses her hair over her shoulder and rolls her shoulders back in a regal manner.

Sam nudges Kara, “10 years worth of practice. Ooof I barely survived, solely here on luck.”

Lena sips on her wine, humming and nodding her head. She adds, “Luck and her good looks.”

Sam pouts and grabs Lena’s hand, biting her lip to hold back a smile, “your honesty wounds me.”

Lena chuckles and jokes, “My sincerest apologies, darling, I’ll begin lying to you promptly.”

_She calls Sam darling as well. Rao._

Sam smiles and leans in to give Lena a sweet kiss, she whispers through her laughter, “Thank you. Your effort is duly noted.”

Kara’s pulse explodes at the sight and her heart swells at their obvious love for each other. She takes a sip of her drink and chances a glance around the room. Her eyes land on Alex, once again chatting up a woman, smiling and laughing. The sisters make eye contact and Alex wags her eyebrows at her and whispers out a smug, “you’re welcome.” She sighs and looks back to the two women that have been dominating her mind as of late, she poses a question “So tell me about the polyamorous life?”

Lena looks to Sam who answers through a smile, “We are actually still kind of figuring it out ourselves, that one,” She points to a bashful looking Lena, “has done lots of research already. We only recently got together officially, at the insistence of our daughter to and I quote ‘Get our heads out of our asses.’”

Kara almost spits out her drink, she wipes her mouth, laughing. Sam reaches up with her hand and wipes at her chin, “You missed some, honey.” Kara blushes and thanks her quietly as Sam settles the hand back on her thigh, considerably higher than before.

Kara blows out a breath and pulls her eyebrows together, “So you don’t have another partner then?” _Oh Rao please._

Lena bites her lips and Sam stares into Kara’s eyes with a raised brow, “hmm no not yet. Just browsing I suppose.”

Rouge covers Kara’s face and neck, “ah I see.” She takes a shaky breath and looks between the two sets of eyes, her voice cracks slightly, “What are you both looking for in a partner? I mean how do you choose?”

_Subtle. Real subtle._

Sam smirks and squeezes her thigh, Lena rests her elbow on the table and brings her head to her hand, “Actually, we are currently look for a hinge relationship. Essentially another woman to just date Sam, I am not emotionally ready to open our relationship fully yet and she respects that.” She sees Lena smile at Sam who’s cheeks redden.

Kara feels disappointment pull at her heart but she makes a conscious effort to keep it off her face. _I mean it’s not like I could date my therapist anyhow._ She shakes the thought off, “How does that work? Won’t you get jealous?”

Sam raises a brow in interest and looks to her girlfriend, Lena looks up in thought for a moment and then back at Kara, “No, I won’t. We have been together in all but name for a long time… I’ve never gotten jealous because I knew she would always… Always want me the way I want her, regardless if someone else was or is involved. It feels incredible to be loved by her, it would be mighty selfish of me to keep someone else from experiencing that. I just want her to be happy.”

Sam fawns, and honestly so does Kara, “That’s really mature of you both. I don’t know if I have ever experienced anything like that. It’s sounds like a dream.”

Lena replies almost instantly, “You will, darling. I am sure of it.” The assurance grabs Kara by the neck and WWE body slams her into her seat. She smiles big to show her appreciation.

The lights dim once more and Kara see’s Alex speed walk back over, when she arrives she smiles, “Scoot down nerds, I am tired of turning to have to watch the show.” The women laugh and Kara turns to see that there is no space to her right anymore. Before she can offer to take Alex’s place she feels a weight settle across her lap. Her right arm immediately darts and wraps around a waist to steady the lithe body and she looks up to see Sam’s grin, she winks, “Hope you don’t mind.”

Her jaw unhinges and she inhales sharply. _Great Rao. Thank you, Alex._

Kara lets out a nervous giggle and her other hand subconsciously settles on Sam’s thigh, who in turn crosses her legs to trap Kara, “Rao, no I don’t mind.”

She hears Lena mumble under her breath, “best seat in the house, it seems.” Kara blushes as her eyes slide back to the raven haired woman, her cheeks aflame, seemingly in realization that Kara definitely heard that. Lena leans forwards and clears her throat as she stares straight on, giving her full attention to the curtains that rise on the stage and reveal a group of women dressed in sailor’s uniforms, poised with microphones. Sam leans her weight further into Kara’s chest, using her shoulder and arm as a back rest. The blonde’s heart rate skyrockets.

Through out the performance Kara can’t keep her eyes off the woman in her lap. With Sam’s attention averted she lets her gaze wander untethered over the bronzed skin. She plays imaginary connect the dots with tiny freckles that speckle her sun kissed shoulders. When Sam laughs, her head tilts back slightly, and Kara greedily drinks in the view of her irresistible neck and jaw line every time. She spends time eyeing the toned muscles of Sam’s exposed thighs, Kara flexes her hand every so often just to feel them twitch under her touch.Occasionally, Sam moves to grab her wine from the table, when she does, she drops both feet to the ground between Kara’s legs and leans forward slowly. Kara assumes she is afraid that if she moves too quickly, she might miss some vital aspect of the performance. Kara finds her absentminded movements endearing and cute. But they are also fucking torture, because when Sam leans forward ever so slowly, her ass to grinds into Kara’s lap. The friction of the motion is troubling to say the least, the kryptonian bites her lip on numerous occasions to stop a moan from slipping out as arousal floods her body. This time it doesn’t work though, Kara lets a quiet groan slip and her eyes roll back into her head for a moment. Sam is either oblivious, or mercifully ignores it and resumes her position. But Lena, ever so observant, turns her head at the noise. She eyes them both, smirking but soon looks back towards the stage. Kara fidgets as she notices Lena reach her hand back and slightly between kara’s legs to settle on the inside of Sam’s aloft ankle. She watches, captivated, as Lena’s long fingers draw oblong infinity symbols up and down Sam’s calf, distractedly. She tracks the motions and soon she sees Sam lift her high heeled foot lightly and caress up the inside of Lena’s forearm in return. She feels Sam shiver from Lena’s actions, so Kara tightens her hold around the brunette and brazenly rests her chin on the taller woman’s shoulder. She wonders if Sam is having just as hard of a time paying attention as Kara is now. Before she knows it the lights have come back full force and the room is up again clapping, but the three women stay seated. Kara loosens her hold on Sam and sits back, her eyes pan up from where they were obediently watching Lena’s fingers, to find the doctor smiling at her. Kara can’t tell if the lighting is playing a trick on her or Lena’s eyes really are shades darker than usual. The prolonged eye contact has Kara blushing while she ducks her head.

Sam stands up slowly and Kara fights off the pout that is threatening her lips, already missing her presence so close, “I’m gonna head to the rooftop to get some air before the last performance. I’ll be back, okay?”

Lena tilts her chin up and Sam leans down do give her a peck, “Sure thing, darling. Would you likeme to come with you?”

At that Alex cuts in, “I actually could use some air, mind if I tag along?”

Sam smiles and nods, she turns and tosses a wink at Kara before both women head away from their little alcove. Lena stands and makes her way around the table to plop down in the seat straight across from her. Kara leans forward and props her chin up on the table with a hand.

“So darling. Are you okay with this?”

Kara swallows and decides to play dense, “What do you mean?”

Lena raises a brow, “Kara. I know how smart you are, let’s not play games.”

The kryptonian shivers at Lena’s assertive tone and then laughs nervously, “I mean yes. I am okay with us seeing each other outside of sessions, Lee.”

Lena leans forwards and grasps Kara’s wrist, she lays it flat on the table, palm side up and once again begins drawing small shapes on the soft skin, “I know for a fact that you know that I am not talking about that.”

Kara’s eyes focus in on the gesture and she sighs, “Uh, you mean Sam?”

She can see Lena nod her head in her peripherals. Kara listens to her heart to reach some sort of semblance of calm. She clears her throat, “I mean I think it’s obvious that I am okay with it. The question is are you okay with it?”

Lena drags her fingers back and forth over her skin until finally she pulls back entirely, Kara looks up, “Yes, darling. I’m not in the habit of allowing my girlfriend to sit on just anyone’s lap, especially when mine is free. We may be interested in a hinge relationship, but Sam is adamant that I be involved in who she chooses.” Lena shrugs, “She either likes my bossy streak or values my opinion. Either way it's a win win.”

Kara blushes, “Oh so I am in the running then?” _I like your bossy streak. And your opinion. Please tell me what to do._

Lena rolls her eyes in good fun, “Darling, you are the running. She won’t shut up about you.”

“B-but how will this effect us?”

Lena smiles reassuringly, flashing her perfect teeth, “it won’t, we will continue on normally. I still won’t be sharing things about our sessions with Sam unless you express consent to that, and she knows not to meddle into it either if you don’t want that. Our dynamic will remain in contact and in good standing. I suppose we might see each other outside of the normal setting more often.”

_Carry on normal?! Rao, normal is me lusting after you and picturing ways for you to pin me to my bed._

“You promise? Because I know you are just meant to be my therapist, but Lee, I-i I feel like we are friends, and I don’t want to screw that up. Or maybe I am reading into things.” She bites her lip.

Kara hears Lena’s heart uptick, and notes the blush crawling up her neck, “Darling, you aren’t reading too much into things, I promise. As long as you are sure you would like to pursue Sam, I say go for it.”

Kara blows out a breath, “She’s so pretty.. and her whit is so sharp.. and her eyes making me feel dizzy with warmth. She makes me laugh so hard with these one-liners but in the same second she can make me blush, it’s a total mind fuck, and I am honestly getting whiplash.”

Lena chuckles and smiles fondly, “a total mind fuck is the perfect way to describe her.” Both women smile and allow themselves to slip into comfortable silence.

Kara can see the shift in her features from casual to professional so she knows what Lena is about to ask her,“Are you ready to meet on Tuesday?”

Kara nods shyly.

Lena raises a brow, “Have you completed the assignment I gave you?” _Oh gosh don’t remind me._

Kara shakes her head and winces, “I um- I haven’t tried yet.”

“Well make sure you at least try, okay? Who knows maybe you’ll find something you like.” The doc shrugs and takes a sip of her wine. “Just stick to the list I gave you, if my perceptions of you are accurate, there will be at least a couple videos.”

Kara breathes in and out and quietly whispers, “Yes ma’am.”

“Remember, no touching, just watching. This is purely for research purposes, to figure out what your desires may be. Plus I need you reeling for the activity on Monday.”

Kara swallows roughly and nods.

_How am I supposed to talk about this on Monday, if I can’t even now?! It’s just porn, grow up Danvers!_

Out of the corner of her eye, Kara sees two figures making their way back over to them. Kara can hear their laughter and she smiles as her sister hops down into the pit and slides onto the bench next to her as Sam follows suit and slides next to Lena. Kara looks over and chuckles, “you are ripped.”

Alex brings her arms up to pose like strongman, and Kara snorts, “No dork, you are teetering on drunk.”

Alex scoffs, “Am not.” She giggles, “Okay, maybe. Sam, got us tequila.”

Kara raises her brows, smiling and turns to the brunette who holds her hands up, “In my defense, your sister made a good point that the wind on the roof had completely killed our buzz, I am nothing if not an impressionable woman.”

Lena cackles and wraps her arms around the taller woman lovingly, “yeah right, you are insufferable and stubborn as all get out, I doubt we will live to see the day you become a pushover.” She looks to Alex, “It was her idea wasn’t it?”

Alex’s nods laughing, “How did you know?”

Lena shrugs and smirks at Sam, “Because I’m the only one who has her unwavering deference. I think I’ve seen her punch people more times in lieu of saying no than she has ever actually said no to me. ”

Kara chokes on air. _Oh. This is going to do wonders for the dreams my psyche generates._

“To be fair she does her fair share of bending to my will as well, she’s not a total princess.”

Lena scoffs and pokes Sam between the ribs laughing.

Kara’s voice cracks, “Sounds like you two have it all figured out then.”

Sam smiles at Lena, “Not all the way but I think we are pretty damn close to nirvana.”

“Well that’s fucking cute.” Alex huffs.

“What about you Alex? Got a girlfriend?” Sam inquires.

Alex’s cheeks color, “hmm no. But I have a crush on someone.” Sam oohs and Lena raises a brow, both leaning forward in curiosity.

Blue eyes bug out, “Excuse me, what?!”

Alex sheepishly raises a shoulder, “You’ve had other things going on, plus it’s barely anything.”

Kara frowns and a crinkle forms on her forehead, “Who is she? Do I know her?”

Alex hums with a simper, “You do.”

“For gosh sake Alex give me more to work with here.” Kara pouts.

Alex rolls her eyes, “So impatient. I’m thinking of asking Kelly out.”

Kara squeals, “dude, yes. I throw all of my support behind this. Does James know?”

Alex shakes her head, “I was going to tell him next game night after I ask her out this week, last night was just too rowdy.”

Kara throws an arm around her sister in delight, “Well this is just amazing.” Alex beams back at her sister.

Sam cuts in smiling, “You guys have such a good dynamic, best friends and siblings. I hope Colin and Ruby get to have that.”

Lena nods, “They’re pretty close now, but the age gap makes it a little hard. 10 years is a lot. We have been blessed that they don’t fight all that often, but when they do it’s catastrophic.” Sam chuckles as she is bobbing her head.

“We once bought bulk condiments for some fucking reason-“

Lena offers, “It was left over from that Good Vibrations company picnic.”Kara sees Alex raises her brow at the mention of the brand. _Oh boy that’s gonna come up later I am sure of it._

Sam nods and snaps her fingers in recognition, “right and Colin had gotten really upset with Ruby, she was ignoring him or something of that nature,”

Lena hums, “she was acting like she couldn’t hear him. Mouthing words and pointing to her ears like she she was a mime.”

Sam looks over smiling, “bless your memory. Right because remember his little voice incrementally got louder and louder until it was all the sudden quiet? Apparently he had given up and grabbed the gallon of mustard from the back of the pantry, took the lid off and dumped it over her head. And then we heard a scream from Ruby.”

Lena shakes her head snickering, “Oh my gosh, I was furious. He did it right in front of me! Like he didn’t even try to be sneaky.”

Sam laughs, “We had a white couch at the time, not that I think any other fabric would fare better. But somehow it still made the whole occurrence seem worse.”

Alex cackles, “Oh god, he really must’ve been willing to do the time to just commit the crime out in the open and all, with witnesses no less… Me and Kara fought like cats and dogs when she, um, got adopted. I was a dick but she totally instigated.” Kara scoffs, shaking her head in refusal. Alex nods back to refute,“But unfortunately, much to both of our then displeasure, I think it is part of the reason of why we are got so close. It became about respect in a way? Like who could fuck each other’s day up more? At the peak of our pranks we just started dissolving into laughter rather than screaming.”

Kara chuckles, “I remember I was beyond livid the first time I enjoyed a prank you pulled on me. All that effort I put into hating you just whoosh, down the drain replaced with wonder and admiration of your commitment to the game. You’re on my shit list forever because of that.” The table roars in laughter.

“Wait what did she do to earn your respect? We need to hear this.”

By this point Kara can see behind Sam and Lena’s heads that the performance has began, but she can’t seem to care, happy to reminisce. She shakes her head and stares back at the two smiling women in front of her. _Rao, they’re so attentive, I feel like their eyes are staring into my soul, consuming me. So pretty._ Kara focuses back in, “She totally pulled a fast one on me, sort of similar to what Ruby did. For an entire week she made me believe I gained the power of invisibility. She would act like she couldn’t see me or hear me at times, and I was so confused. And then on like what? Day 2?” Alex nods. “She had a conversation with Eliza, our mom, knowing full well I could hear, that I had been disappearing into thin air mid conversation.” Kara rolls her eyes. “I still don’t know how you got her to play along. So yeah, I spent a whole week thinking I could just dissolve into this air.”

Sam barks out laughter and whispers breathlessly, “Oh my gosh. And I called myself impressionable?”

Lena is trying to hold back laughter. And Kara can’t help but think when she bites her lip light that, that she looks beautiful. Her cheeks color.

“You didn’t tell the best part.”

“Alex, no. blood oath.” Kara’s brows furrow and she frowns.

Alex pulls a face, “Sorry pal..” She leans forward onto the table and rushes out, “She only found out that she didn’t have the power when she tried to disappear during a lecture from our parents. It was so funny to see her slither down off the couch to the ground and try to army crawl herself away. I remember watching Eliza burst out laughing and Jeremiah just shaking his head while grabbing her by the foot to drag her back.”

“ugh you’re the worst. I was really impressed though if we are being honest. Also confused on how I got away with what I did that whole week.”

Alex pulls her brows together, “What are you talking about?”

Kara looks over at her sister embarrassed, “everyday that week I walked into Kaleidoscoops to buy a cone.” Kara takes a bated breath, “I would eat the ice cream, save the cone, and then immediately just walk straight behind the counter to grab myself another scoop, free of charge. 5 finger discount ya know? Mr. Fratelli never said one thing, He ju-just sat there! I felt so bad, I was robbing this poor guy in front of his face! Thats why I worked there for free that entire summer.”

“Oh my god. How did I never hear about this. I can’t believe you used your fake powers for evil!”

Kara shrugs feeling a little bit of residual guilt come up, _Maybe I should call Mr Fratelli to apologize again_ , “Contrary to popular belief Al, I am good at keeping secrets _and_ I do have a dark side.”

At that the three women bursts into laughter. Kara crosses her arms and nods, “Yeah yeah laugh it up, but after that, I am now taking the rest of my secrets to the grave.”

Alex waves her hands in front of herself and shakes her head through laughter, “No no I am sorry, please never keep any gems like that to yourself again.”

Lena breaks in chuckling, “We weren’t laughing at you darling, just with you.”

Sam nods as she wipes a couple tears, “Yeah we promise not to tell anyone that you’re the two scoop bandit.”

Kara snorts at that, “Thank god, after my last run in with the bounty hunters, I really can’t afford to be found out, I narrowly escaped retribution.”

Alex nods thoughtfully, “Must be a hell of a bounty on your head at this point, for such a heinous act, maybe we’ve spoken to soon ladies. We ought to reconsider ratting her out to the authorities.” She looks to Sam and Lena who smile like they are evilcoconspirator.

Kara looks over in shock, “You wouldn’t dare. Your own sister?”

She shrugs, “This town ain’t big enough for the both of us, little Danvers.”

That’s how the rest of the night lands. All four women laughing and trading stories about their pasts. Staying till bar close and drinking. Kara even scored herself Sam’s number. By the time her head hits the pillow she’s on cloud 9. She gradually falls asleep smiling through her mind’s recounting of the night.

_Alex was definitely right, Kitty’s is the place to be. I should go back though, because I didn’t catch a single fucking performance._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might take a couple days for the next update!!! Also quick Q: in my mind, Kara is more upfront with her flirting with Sam because she feels more inclined to assert her dominance maybe? and with lena she feels intimidated (In a good way) so she is less inclined to be smooth, she maybe wants Lena to assert her dominance over her, enjoys the attention? Does this translate or??? I don't know. Let me know your hot takes on their dynamics pls.


End file.
